by bondshi06
Waddles like an abusive donme and quacks like an abusive domne. Dude ought to call DUCK! I'll try more of this story to see where you take it. I don't get into psycho bitch dommes , so I'm wary.
Your use of first person pov is good. Make the most of it by giving us his thoughts, good, bad and conflicted. Tell us more about this mistress by letting us see her through his thoughts, descriptions, observations and interpretations of her.
Do you have four legs then? Not a bad story apart from this -- three stars.
Must dommes or mistresses always seem to be written as cold-hearted, evil, psychotic and malevolent bitches. A big 'turnoff'. Another thought, perhaps he is such a spineless, whimpering little turd, they deserve each other.