by Swerve91
The editing of this was poor. Please if you are going to post something for the public to read, know the difference between your and you're. Also to, too, and two are important. This story jumped around from meeting to ridiculousness so quick I can only assume in the next segment we are going to learn the narrator is dreaming.
Hey your point about the editing is a note well taken. I think I get so excited to let other people read something I wrote that I don't take the time to sit with it. And no, I definitely don't use dreamlike states in my writing... way too hackneyed!
I like stories that are a bit weird. This certainly is! Thanks.
Weird, yes. Suggests to me that the writer is a juvenile male with somewhat un-formed (or just perverted) views about how human relationships work. It just wouldn't BE like this, not even if it were established that the characters all had serious mental issues. Stories, even the horrible ones, have to have an element of believability. This one doesn't.
Hey,
Thank you for the comment. I appreciate feedback even more than favorites because it gives me the opportunity to hear my reader's point of view. This story definitely calls for a slight suspension of disbelief but hey, stranger things have happened!
Swerve
For the love of god, read up on basic female anatomy. There are 3 holes; urethra, vagina, anus.