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The best Weapon!!
Very nice twist at the end!! I hate stories where the husband is a pussy!!
Hilarious
Could have been in the humor section too! The Urkel part had me rolling on the floor. Good stuff.
At Last, Reality
The cheated husband handled it like a man. He saw the situation for what it was and enjoyed a sweet revenge. What he thought and did is the model for all who are similarly cheated. It is also a warning for the arrogant blacks who fuck trashy, cheating white wives. Doom to the cheaters.
Realistic
At long last - a real life ending to a stupid loving wife action - "we need more of these" instead of the loving husband dressing up in a maid dress to help him put it in or eatting a creampie!!!!
Well written with flair and a real twist -- "normality of response" !!!
A few hundred more stories like this will help balance the books against the non-reality usually written by people who
havn't caught their loving spouse ignoring their vow.
We, the vast male readership here, applaud you and ask for more in this vein!!!!
Unfortunately
the two murders the husband commited --- and the way the relays to "us" --- makes him the most evil person among the three of them: the cheating wife, Raheem the ex-convict, and the righteous sound husband.
Each of them is "bad" each in their own ways; but the husband is the most calpable character, the most henious, in this story. while the wife was really a worthless whore, who did real harm to him --- by telling him he had unknowingly suck another man's fluids, when he thought he was only making love to his beloved wife, with whom he'd built a life for close to 30 years --- he cold bloodedly ordered her murder and then cold bloodedly kill her murderer.
males readers gives the story a "100" only because there are 10 to 1 "Loving Wives" stories making the husbands fools (but loyan and hard working), cuckholds, and small dicked idiots.
to "best revenge" --- legal and more acidly sweet --- in a case like this, would have been to see the wife suffer; and there are many scenaiors that the author could come up with, short of murder. with an ex-convict like Raheem, the wife, once cut off from the safety net, the safe heaven of her cushioned life (in a surprised way) --- she can and she will suffer,,, if that's really what the husband wanted,,,
but unfortunately, he IS a double-MURDERER,,,
thank you for all the comments
I appreciate everyone's comments and votes. Addressing the last comment by anon here, since there is no way to do it individually, there was no attempt to make anyone a hero on my part. It was more a case of one's infidelity causing a chain reaction of other events that would never have taken place had there not been a violation of trust to begin with. As for the characters, they are all warped in their own ways.
As for the comment that the Loving Wives section is loaded 10 to 1 with stories about snivelling, little dicked, closet gay white husbands and heroic, well endowed black men who are flawless in character and paragons of virtue, I believe a perusal of the category would find the ratio way higher than that. This suggests that most of the writers have never been closer to a black man than seeing Denzel Washington in a movie or clicking on the Blacks and Blondes banner. Having worked with people of all races all my life, I can assure you the asshole ratio is pretty much the same across the board.
I don't condone or practice violence or spousal abuse of any kind; physical, emotional, verbal or any other variety. Neither do I glorify or denigrate any race as a whole. Yesterday's Gone is, in the end, just a story.
finally someone with balls
i couldnt have written this better what a story maybe it will make people think before they try something like that beautiful i would have killed them both two but you provided a safe way to do it without getting caught great story
I emjoyed this
A well thought out, different story.
Great stuff
It was too Quick
It would have been nice to have The GrandMaster writh around a bit. And the wife died too fast for my taste. And I no way think I'm a cruel or vicious man.
I totally agree with the Troubador
It was too short. But otherwise loved it.
Sharing is one thing, it is agreed upon in advance. Cheating is a braking of trust. There are many on this site who don't understand the difference. Partnerships are built on trust whether it be in business or personal relationships. destroy the trust you destroy the partnership. Who knows to ends one will go to after the trust is broken? This was just one way it turned out.
Keep up the good work. Looking forward to reading more of your stories.
George
I think that the ratio is more 150 to 1 against
realistic cheating wives stories. I hope that the writers of the slut-wife/sub-wimp husband genre take a look at this story. If they do, I just have this to say:
This ending is way more likely to happen than the crap that is regularly churned out here.
I hope they don't get too upset though. This story has all the same elements as their stories. It has the clueless husband, the "other man" (who is, of course, way better built and better at sex than the husband) and the cheating slut-wife (who doesn't give a shit about her husband). It just ends in a slightly (haha) more realistic way. I am sure that the way your "loving wives" stories end entertains the 30 or so "men" (and I use that term loosely) that like that crap.
David Watts-this is an excellent story and I hope you right more in a similar vein. I thank you for your time and effort in writing this story.
Finally
a story with a bit of truth to it. Any normal husband would react in much the same way. I really did think the story was believable at the very end, even though the part about him being a little bit filled with humor before it turned deadly was a little far fetched. But the humor was great too. It also added to the story. I haven't been so thrilled with an ending to a cuckold story in years.
You have made my day,night,week, and even year with the ending of this story. I will make your stories a must read everytime one is posted. Thanks for writing the story.
Great theme
As many others haved said, good to see another non-wimp husband to add to a VERY short list.
Not too sure about the violence, but it is very likely to happen in a similar way.
Neither the wife nor Raheem suffered. Maybe that is okay because they sure met the consequences of their actions.
I'm not sure that revenge as such is necessary, but people, even in stories, should meet the consequences of their actions, both good and bad.
Please write some more along these lines, but maybe draw the characters a bit more fully.
Thanka again for the story.
Too Easy
She got off too easy. I think photos of her and her lover spread all over the neighbor hood and to all the relatives, including the children would have been a much worse, and longer lasting punishment. He could also have given the lover a glass jar with his balls in them as a souviner. A reminder of what happens when you go into another mans house a fuck his wife.
BRAVO, BRAVO ....
FINALLY, a man with balls ... loved how it ended too. He got the best of both worlds, fantasy and reality. About time the husband stood up. I'll keep this story treasured forever.
Murder is still murder.
To kill is wrong unless one is in danger. Revenge is sweet when the offending party, or parties, live to regret their actions. A cuckold with balls is a different slant for this rag.
A Fiendish Enjoyment
This is one of the few stories that I admit to being ashamed that I enjoyed. I can picture the husband walking in on this scene, his anger building as he speaks with these two and then he goes off and effectively murders both his wife and her lover.
I'm not uncmfortable with the killing of the lover, but I am with the wife's murder. After so many years of marriage revenge could have been extracted in a less severe manner. And yet, if one were in that same position...and could get away with it...why not?
Thanks for a fun read.
Story/Character Discussion
The writer said, in effect, that violation of trust somehow equates murder. I posit that there's no logical nexus between the two.
The former has to do with one, for whatever reason, finding oneself with a person unworthy of one's trust and love; the latter is murder. But in this case, it is not just a at-the-moment passion sort of a murder; it is calculated and cold blooded.
The murderer, then, almost giddily boast that the police at this town/city are probably not smart enough to find computer signature linking him to the murdering of two whoring people.
Bottom is this --- while the story IS still believable, because passion can drive some people over to edge --- a planned revenge against someone who had hurt you profoundly AND col-bloodedly murdering them (by putting a gun to their cheating partners, demanding that that person suffocate the cheating wife and THEN shooting that person like a target, however despicable that person or the cheating wife are), are not the same thing.
The former crime does not necessarily lead to the latter; and CERTAINLY the latter in no shape or form absolves the former!
But, again, good story: good erotic sex, graphic violence, and morality discussions.
observations
Observation #1
After a period of living under the Justinian Code or Law as compared to the Angle-Saxon Law, I find the story mildly satsifying. It was and still is my contention that the Literotica board or staff expand their categories to include one more,'Culkold's Revenge' or it's equilivent, as the number of comments on the story show.
Observation #2
If the writer had eliminated the word 'shit' out of his writing, the story would have been 1/3 briefer. We already know the limitations of vocabulary in the characters. You don't have to beat us over the head with overkill.
Personal Observation:
Why wasn't spellcheck included in the software? Never mind.
Equal?
It may be a little over-reaction but I'm not gonna fault him.
And then--adultry IS an abomination, it has been said.
Love the sarcasm
Great story. I loved the sarcasm of the husband, playing along (to a point) knowing that he was going to kill them both in the end. Had a good laugh.
Ballsy choice!
Given the outcome the humor you injected into this is wonderful. Gave your protagonist's character depth. Good job. esl
Excellent!!!
Loved the humor in this. Great job!! LOL!
As good a reason for murder as any
Hell, if you can't kill someone who's done you wrong, just who *can* you kill?
Brilliant
That was the first time that a story has encouraged me to comment. Don't get me wrong, there have been many well-written pieces on this site, but that had everything - good sex, humour, irony, a change from the usual wimp husband and most of all a sense of reading the feedback left on other such stories and writing a story based on that feedback.
Thank you.
Some of these comments leave me cold
I commented on the story days ago, now it's the comments I am talking about.
Here we have a group of anon wankers complaining that murder is wrong, the husband is a shit etc etc.
Because they are anon we have no way of knowing for sure, but is this the same group of intelligentia who love the wimp stories where the husband comes home to suck the semen of six black cocks, all 14" long and as round as my arm from his darling wife's stretched and gaping pussy?
Each pumping a gallon of sperm every time they cum?
And the wife cuts the husband off from sex with her because she likes black cock better now?
AND the husband agrees because he really loves her and she has the right to be her own person?
The same wankers who post and say anyone who disagrees with their views is a wife beater or treats women as posessions?
Now we have them complaining about a scenario which in general terms is probably played out at least 5000 times to 1 for the 'story' wimp in real life.
As you anon guys are always saying - this is a story, for christ sake.
It isfar more realistic one than the cum sucking scenario you love so much
LIVE WITH IT!
Sick
This is supposed to be a sight for erotica. If you can get off on this then all of you are sick bastards. How can anyone enjoy the thought of murdering another person no matter what the crime. To think this is on an erotica site means that there are people out there masterbating to the thought of killing people is just sick.
Too Quick!
A standard story of the black giant with the huge penis , which is getting to be the norm lately. It does seem to be a copy of a similar story from last year about Doctors best friend , amother black giant who had sex with Doc's wife, but in that one good old Doc blew them both away after he taped them having sex, then used the tape in court so the jury could exonerate him. In this one assome of your commenters pointed out, the wife died too quickly. It's not clear that she even knew that hubby was upset about the whole thing she got choked so fast. the Ct. Yankee
hence the tongue-in-cheek disclaimer
Yes, the black giant with the huge member is in every Loving Wives story. That was the point. Why you choose to be disturbed by his appearance in this story eludes me.
Yes, the wife did die very fast, as the point was not that the husband planned for this to happen but instead made this irrational decision for all of them. It was also not designed as a torture tale, merely a spontaneous reaction.
Finally, about the story being a copy of some other story the last "anon" refers too, I am unaware of what "anon" is talking about, since there are thousands and thousands of stories here, and I haven't read even one percent of them to date. Rest assured that every word I write is mine and mine alone. Good, bad or as is usually the case, mediocre as they may be.
"AUTHOR AUTHOR AUTHOR"
ITS ABOUT TIME THE WIFE FUCKERS GOT THEIR DUE. KEEP WRITING THIS THEME ...... A LOYAL FAN KEN
Down
This is so damn boring. IT'S not even erotic. Suddenly the husband realizes he likes being BI. To empty and makes no sence.
huh?
I sent the previous commentor a message that you can access at your profile. I don't know what story you are referring to with a bi-guy, and although the story may or may not suck, it isn't boring.
an academy award to the author!!!!
Author I loved the way you started it and the way you ended it. Now that is a real man and I think what ticked him off was, when she admitted she had sex with hours ago, came home and let him eat the cum out of her pussy and then want him to watch her get fucked. What was that lame excuse she gave for not going to nudist camp?
Beautiful
i would have to say, i'm getting sick of the wimped out husbands cuckolding and lettiong their wives fuck around stories. this is the first story i've read of this nature and i love it. way to go man!
Finally! Now this is real!
Can't say I wouldn't have done the same thing! This is a realistic consequence! Not that cuckold, Back stabbing, cheating shit that is so invasive here with all that wimp husband crap is so unrealistic and boring it defies sanity.
To all those naysayers to this story : Get real! You just read a real consequence to a cheating wife! Not that usual crap that so many people write here. This story is a 5 all the way just because this is a real emotional action taken
by somebody that was just fucked over by someone that supposedly loved her husband.
Thanks for writing the truth!
Sexmate
I call it 50-50
There were some very good points to this story and some that didn't hold up.
The good:
The story is very well-paced and holds the reader's interest from start to finish. You have a good story to tell here, and you tell it well, without giving away anything until the right moment.
The ending is totally realistic and the response of the husband is quite believable. Those who argue that you're glorifying a man who is getting away with double murder aren't being honest with themselves. There isn't a person alive who hasn't fantasized about getting away with murder. What keeps us civilized is how those fantasies remain just that, fantasies that aren't meant to be lived out.
Finally, the narrator's droll tone of delivery, the odd moments of absurd humor (Urkel or Farrakhan?) and the colorful wordplay ("the purple glow of her cheeks...") reveal a real flair for descriptive writing.
Now the bad:
Way too many punctuation and grammar errors for a writer of your talent, especially in quotes of dialogue. One rule of style that was violated over and over was the one about numbers. Every one in this story was written out, which is not proper style. There was precious little decent sex for it to be classified as a sex story (although the spewing cum all over her face was a nice touch).
Most critically, I found that the narrator's tone at the end was too jarringly flippant. Regardless of how he justifies what he's done in his own mind, it seems to me that he is just way too casual about everything.
In the space of 24 hours, a hard-working husband has been called home by his wife of 26 years to discover that she's been cheating on him for a year with a host of strange men and that she wants to rub his face in her infidelity, thinking that will spice up their flagging marriage. In response, he orchestrates the death of this life partner, then shoots her lover/killer dead in cold blood.
In other words, his whole life has been completely shattered, his whole moral compass spinning out of control, but he makes it sound like it's nothing more than just a minor inconvenience, no more painful than a paper cut. Not a real-life response, no matter how justified he might have been in doing what he did.
And the same goes for his blithe dismissal of the police. In the first place, any homicide detective worth his badge will pick up on his lack of emotion, which will, in turn arouse their suspicion. It won't take much digging to learn about Beth's slutty behavior, nor will it take much for them to dig out the e-mail that lured him home. They'll soon start putting the pieces together and figure out what really happened. Real cops are not that dumb.
And then what? Although he is a "well-respected member of the community with a spotless record," that won't mean anything if the DA determines that he did not in fact act in self-defense. He might still get off, but probably not without spending every dime he has defending himself from a second-degree murder charge.
In conclusion, I have to admit that this is a very compelling, very memorable and in some ways disturbing story, and that's what makes good writing. This story has a lot of merit, and I did like it, but there were a few too many holes for it to be considered a really good story.
A great ending
A great story and an even better ending this one that really shows what most husbands would do if they caught their wives fucking someone else. These niggers that fuck white women and breed them to have a mixe dchild should all be delt with like the man in your story. I say you get a 100 rather than a five. And you should write more of these strories to help offset those stories that prasie and worship the black man. Those stories that tell everyone how superior these black MF are when all they are are men taking advantage of some really dumb ass white trash. No white man in his right mine would ever want to make love to his wife or any woman who fucked a nigger.
Bravo!
Bravo! This is 100% Beleveable. and that cheating bitch and thay basted got what was coming to them, I think every man with a brain in there heads would of done the same thing
Your sheet is showing...
Glad to see that there are some Klansmen out there who CAN read! The original story amused me almost as much as Mr. White Sheet's mis-spelled, ignorant rant. What with "stories that prasie and worship the black man..." and "No white man in his right mine would ever..." etc., it was LMAO time for me. (what kind of "mine" is that, anyway? In your case, I'm guessing a coal mine...).
What an idiot. Oh, but don't change. Hearing someone spew their racist opinions like that gives me a chance to feel smugly superior for at least a few minutes. Now go get some help, you poor fool.
P.S. Anyone else notice how "prasie" rhymes with "crazy"?
BTW,
The previous comment ("Your sheet is showing..." dated 6/13/05) referred to the 05/12/05 comment by Anonymous titled "A great ending". Just wanted the intended target to be clear.
Congratulations
This was a treat, a very satisfying story, very much appreciated, not like so many of the stories of husbands who get off on watching, not that that kind of story can't be done well if you give the character a realistic emotional reaction and don't make it simplistic. But this is good.
Well!!!
There sure won't be any reconciliation with this couple!
Nicely done, no confusion about he felt about it!
PERFECT
Story was great and flowed well. Grammar wasn't that bad since it didn't take anything away from the story. I have to say that this story is very believable. Kanga40, i agree with your second comment. The anon comments that say that they hate this story, are probably from the few sick jaded people that get off on the cuckold stories. As for the murder, calculated or not, whats the diffrence. The whore wife got what she deserved and well the the black bastard. I am not racist, the guy could have been red, for all i care. He was fucking another mans wife, so he deserved what he got. I have to say that if i were the husband, i would have taped it. Than i would have made copies and sent them out to everyone she knew. Her family, her friends,our neighbor's and everyone she works with/for. I would send a copy of the tape to every place she ever applied for a job, making it impossible for her to get a decent job.I would have told our kids just what kind of woman thier mother had turned into. Of course i would have used the tape for evidence when i dovorced the whore. In short, i would have destroyed her life and made her regret ever cheating on me. But thats just me.
Now thats what would really happen
Thankyou, thankyou, thankyou, finally a story end like it should be. A little more of her begging for mercy would have been good. What a stupid fucking slut.
GREAT STORY
Both the whore wife and her lover got exactly what they deserved. Like someone said, the wife died to quickly. The husband should have had the black bastard torcher(hope that is spelled right) her for a while. But other than that, this story was great. They got what they deserved.
Can I get a....
HELL YEAH!!!!!!
Wow!
First time, no second time, I've seen an account of how I would end it.
Guess Raheem wasn't too bright. If he killed wife what the hell could he possibly think would happen?
racist
the fact that so many like this story points to just how racist this society is.....from the lovers name to his stereotypical diction and actions....my suggestion is....if you're going to write about black people....actually meet some....
The story is as true as most any other on here
It's the fact that the nigger gets fucked up and killed along with the cheating whore wife that people like and comment on so much. It's not just the race issure believe me. There are more blacks out there that hate whites and try every way to fuck them up than white people. If there is any race problems in this country it's the blacks who are doing it.
Perfect
Both of them deserved it! Well done!
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