All Comments on 'Her Trick, My Treat'

Good story, need to get it edited, a lot of mistakes with the names and grammar, otherwise a pretty good story.

You have an intriguing idea for a story. Unfortunately, you have a LOT of errors that stopped me from enjoying the story. I could not finish. You obviously did not run this by an editor, but since it's only your second story, that's understandable. I will point out 2 examples. First you said Lilah had worn "more reviling clothes". You obviously meant "revealing" but a spellcheck wouldn't have spotted it because "reviling" is a word; but it means "disgusting". Also you had "felling" in one spot instead of "feeling". Same thing: both real words, just the wrong one.

name switches. if you don't want to proof-read, get an editor. distracting.

Due to the contest deadline I didn't have time to have an editor look over the story. I will be submitting both of my stories for editing so that I can repost them. Thank you for the specific feedback so I can catch it next time as I write. At one point I had the sisters be named Vivian and Violet and that got confusing to write and read so I went back and changed Violet to Lilah.

Great job with one of my favorite kinds of stories. I hope there are more surprises in store for these three.

then/than

sit/set/sat

complete sentences please.

pay attention to your own story, seems like you forgot what you were doing.

because of contest, you couldn't fix it? WTF?

bit of grammar, it'll be fine.

Love this story

stupid!!!

Keep up the effort, your doing really well, given this is only your second story, a good editor would help a lot, or contest a side more time to proof read. While as a reader I would have liked to see a couple more pages, and a definite conclusion, you have many continuing possibilities. Thank you

North

I liked the story; you know the errors, so keep it up. I am really interested in what young Lilah has planned. It could be that James is in for a real treat with both sisters. He hardly knows anything about the duo in the present, so many things could happen. I would question why Lilah all of a sudden contacted James. It might be possible the two sisters were looking for the next victim for whatever. If it is all just revenge, then James should bet on Lilah because she came up with a very interesting revenge plan. The older sister is nothing more than a slut with an addiction to sex. She clearly is not the one James should hang with. The whole twisted sisters deal is certainly in need of exploration as well. Write more and edit often.

RS

Like others have said get an editor or wait 24 hours from the time you finished to read over and try to find your mistakes. Honestly, most people don't care about or sadly recognize grammatical errors any more.

Not bad I assume there will be a part 2

Interesting twists and turns. You need a bit of editing help but doesn’t detract from a good story.

Please continue with this

I enjoyed the whole story very much. There's just a major flaw which just about stops this fro, being my favorite story on Literotica ever - you mix up Lilah and Vivian sometimes, which makes the whole thing confusing. Other than that, keep it up! Eager for part 2!

Thank you everyone for the feedback, I am currently trying to get my stories edited so I can repost them.

I'm not a fan of incest stories but this kept it to a minimum. The story was really hot and and the twists and turns in the last part made it even more interesting.

The names are all mixed up. There is even a 3rd sister named Violet near the end of the story. Totally ruined it.

I’m in the middle of editing the story to fix it up.

Please give us a part 2

You need to fix at least three errors where you got people mixed up. Hell, you mixed up the sisters and Vivian and him. That's not including many other mistakes.

If you want an editor, I would be willing.

Thank you, I would really appreciate that. Will message you soon.

The story is worth 4 stars, but poor editing and mix ups take away from an otherwise great story. Please find a good proof reader/editor then do part two.

This needs to continue....I know it was published awhile ago compared to my comment but would love to see more

Not sure where the revenge comes in. Seems to me Lilah just gave her new BF back to her older sister. Vivian once again got Lilah's boyfriend to cheat on her, and unless there's some blackmail coming along that's about the poorest revenge plot I've ever heard of!

please? you have the base already set up. how vivian reacts to this new relationship, the camera.

Anyone who doesn't know the difference between Then and Than can NOT know literature.

The only thing that would make sense is; Lilah planned it from the beginning.

Friend Request, messaging, etc. all of it.

Otherwise, Story wouldn't make any sense at all.

She "cried" to him about a cheating ex.

He then has sex with another girl/coincidentally with her Sister, his ex-Vivian. = cheating on Lilah.

Lilah revenge fuck.

but then let her sister back playing with "her" boyfriend?

What is it now? did she fool her sister or James or both?

Also, the tag "romance" is used VERY liberal. I don't know where u see any romance in here.

In him knowingly fucking his ex, his current girlfriend sister? Him being the Cheat Lilah complained about? Letting her boyfriend-stealing Sister back in with one of her boyfriends?

Too many points crossing each other here.

Unless you have a second part (which I highly doubt), that is only 3 Stars from me.

It's just a good idea of a Story.

I enjoyed the story. I just feel it is incomplete.

I have to totally agree with everything Tiercenpt said. A whole lot of confusion in a titillating story 😕. If it were left up to me to tie up the loose ends here, I would want James to marry Lilah and have Vivian forever regretting ruining her first relationship with James. Lilah obviously isn't done yet with her revenge as hinted at by the hidden camera reveal. Maybe she uses the recording to blackmail her sister into being a sex toy for James?

Yeah, lots possibilities for continuing on with this saga.

It's been almost four years.

Where is the sequel. The story is clearly not over.

It was clear that Lily had set the whole thing up from the beginning.

But there was so much left unsaid. And first of all, how Jason ended up taking it all and what decision he made. This is not the kind of story to leave to the reader's imagination.

The author seems to have just lost the last couple of pages.

"if I was yours I'd never cheat"

Proceeds to cheat on her with her sister anyway

The masturbation scene and the make-out scenes with Lilah were perfect, describing passionate making out. Then you added the party scene with Vivian. Utter perfection.

I hope the relationship with Lilah continues. She needs it so much. An possibly her friend Amanda(?).

Thanks.

Good story.

>> While I had seen her in less earlier,

I had to re-read this twice to realise what was said.

>> Maybe > While I had seen her wearing less before,

But what would I know, as I could not have written this story.

I enjoyed the story until the end (or should I say the lack of one)! This bags for more, until I read more of the story I cannot give more than 2 or 3 stars

This story is way better than its rating. The couple should seduce an older woman together.

Interesting premise.

But ALL of the sex it too automatic. Too rushed. Too lacking in any sort of reluctance that needed to be overcome.

You wrote EMOTE. Didn't you mean EMOJI?

Four stars.