by petskunk
Are you going to tell us what happened at breakfast in chapter 2 or what???
I would love to know.
rjb49@bellsouth.net
I certainly will tell more if it gets me higher votes. LOL.
Only not bad? I'm disappointed. LOL. Thanks for the comment. Seriously.
Well written and evenly paced. Very good story with the promise of more chapters.
If you wait too long to submit a second chapter, readers will forget to look for it.
Next chapter, please!
Thanks very much for the huge pat on the back. I'm working on another chapter right now.
What else could a 19 year old boy ask for. Wonder Woman or mom Woman the WOMAN part is all he cares about. The other is gravy and lust.
Thanks need more about breakfast and beyond.
I liked the pace at which it was written. The story moved right along and the sex was hot. I gave it five stars. It definitely needs a followup chapter.
I loved the fact the story didn't drag out; just the right amount of build up to it. The sex was phenomenal and the whole story really turned me on. I've always wanted to do Wonder Woman, so this was a really good treat for me. I can't wait for the next installment.
Thanks all for the endorsement. I can't avoid writing another chapter for this storyline with the combined wishes of you three and everyone else who has commented.
A great start to hopefully a continuous story! Please keep writing & I look forward to the next chapter(s)!
Just enough drama and intrigue to propel the inevitable forward.
Good luck in the contest, but attention to the little details would help if you want more 5s .
Great story. If Eddie had listened to Sarah then they wouldn't have had to call an electrician. I'm just sayin'..........
Great story, must be many more parts to cum. I am certainly looking forward to them.
Top story but you cannot leave it there! More chapters please xmas break easter the following summer; heck he has 3 years of college but please do not leave it here Thanks for a great story
This story begs to be enlarged and explored!!!! Hope so?
All mothers and sons should experience such uninhibited love. Wonderful way to have 1st penetration as mom was not herself. Masterfully crafted.
Thanks for leaving your comment. I would like to take your advice under consideration but I don't know what little details you are referring to.
Thank you all fr reading and enjoying my story. And, for letting me know your thoughts. There will definitely be more chapters to come. Yup, lots of holidays to come as well. Thanks, everyone.
It was a very good story, please keep the seduction in the stories. I enjoy you senerios of teasing and intimacy. Risky situations would be appericated like the turkey isnt the only thing being stuffed for thanksgiving.
Wonder, what a well written story, such tension and so well narrated, I’d be very proud of writing such a thrilling and exciting tale.. Well done Sir
My only criticism; more dialogue. Seduction in a novel is also about what is said and reinforced through action. Here you have plenty of action but could easily gain your desired 4.5 score with good sexy dialogue. 5* from me
Honestly, this one is good. My issues are two-fold. Like others, I think it needs more chapters. I know what I would like to read happen, but I am not the author. The other issue is, in my opinion, this chapter alone could have and should have built more and taken longer.
There a a lot of opportunities to build the suspense with flirting and teasing between them or switching vantage points so that we see what both mother and son are thinking. No good or decent parent jumps into the sack without questioning the consequences and mothers would be even more reticent. Altering the bond between mother and child is a HUGE deal for most women as that bond is sacred an sacrosanct. Yes, she is angry, upset and frustrated with her husband, but to go directly to her son? Unlikely. That leap requires elimination of other options (an affair with a non-family member, divorce, counseling) or some reason that it would the primary option (personal or family history of incest or interest from porn/erotica) to justify such a drastic and life-altering experience.
Just my $0.02. :)
Thank you, sir. I am indeed proud of my work and the response it has drawn.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I really appreciate them. I understand your point about the dialogue completely.
Thanks for sharing. I tend to fill in the blanks you have mentioned as I go along. I will certainly keep your points in mind.
The only thing I would have like to hear was your mom got her Halloween treat. A baby in her womb. Maybe a breakfast treat instore for her..
Only problem is that "Before me was a site that will be carved in my memory for time immemorial." should be "Before me was a SIGHT that will be carved in my memory for time immemorial".
A great story, well worth more then 5*. I have no bad remarks about the misspell of 'site' instead of 'sight' as a computer with spelling auto correcting would not know the difference. That job falls to the editor. Very much enjoyed it and hope for a continuation although the story will stand alone. Thank you!
I'm glad you loved the story. I certainly know the difference between site and sight. I am my own editor and one slipped past me. I hope that didn't affect your vote. There were about six thousand other words that didn't offend you.
Thanks for the pat on the back. I certainly appreciate you not belabouring the difference between sight and site. I do my own editing and sometimes some things get overlooked. What can I say? Originally I intended this as a one off story written for the contest. I'm sure it would have been hugely different if I had conceived it as an ongoing story. That being said, I am working on chapter two now and repairing some of the deficiencies of the first chapter. Thanks again.
Damn.
Linda Carter did it for me.
Would've liked more of a story, but you have done well.
Loved it. Just long enough that kept you interested. Linda Carter was always one of my fantasies. Use the nylons more since the son loved her legs nylons and heels. They are also my fetish.
Thanks for the comment. I always dress my women in stockings.
I just wanted to let everyone know that Chapter 2 has been submitted for publication. It should be out in a few days. I hope it gathers as much interest as this first chapter. Thanks for all your support.
Good story. Literally lost a star for blatantly asking for a good rating. =p
I had over 100k views of this story and less than 2% voted period. That is pretty much the average for my stories. I would be surprised if you get any better results. I don't see anything wrong with asking for votes. Many of the authors on this site do the same thing. Would you have preferred I beg for a low vote? Sheesh.
all over the world there are sons and mothers fucking right this minute. If you accept JUST 1 percent of the world population....
cant be denied because the first family started it in the garden. Incest began there with mom and dad and brothers and sisters
Your stories are starting to sound the same,the build up is most of the story. THEN
BAM !!!, half page of over the top sex. Then the story ends, unless you have
another chapter on the way. THANKS???
The best story I’ve ever read!! Thank you so much for sharing it with us!!s