All Comments on 'I Turned 18 on Halloween'

Were you drunk or just stoned when you came up with this premise? I strongly suspect, aside from any incestuous aspect, that this story really should be posted in Sci-Fi & Fantasy. It's just too fucking weird for anyone looking for a story about fucking a relative. And that's saying something!

you'd bothered to do some proof reading.

And who the h*ll is 'Gina' who popped up for one sentence?

Plus occasionally you got 'Emily' and 'Gail' mixed up!

A little confusing at times.

What happened to the first girl he fucked.

Glad to see his wives stayed monogamous.

I actually enjoyed the story line. True could have been more fantasy then incest. Can’t wait to read more.

I only made it to just into the second page. Got way too confusing, too many errors in grammar and spelling that made me lose interest. 2 stars was the best I could do.

Aside from Grammar mistakes it was enjoyable read. Try proofreading and spell check. Also there were times that some of the names got mixed up. Happened at least 3 times one was at very end.

needs alot of work.

you had tons of grammar mistakes and transposed names a few times.

Not a bad idea but execution was terrible. Too rushed, too much "oh btw I can do this..." (the spot about the parents ghosts and the mom sucking his cock was confusing and badly done) etc. Mixed up names, details that were not needed, spots that needed better decription, very poor grammer. Too much plot crammed into too small of story. Also when a main character gets omniscient it doesnt make for a good read since there is nothing for him to learn. Sorry to say but 1 star was about half a star too much. Dont stop writing but dont hurry through a story with this much that you wanted to accomplish for plot.

A very entertaining storyline, which is worth five stars. The writing could be better, and I suggest you invest in some software like "Grammarly". I look forward to more chapters in the adventures of David, Emily and Gail.

Story could be very good, but needs work on the delivery. Ignoring mistakes the story does not flow with the sentences being very terse and disjointed. Like police giving evidence to the court.

HOWEVER I enjoyed this one

Big douse of science fiction, Witchcraft, with incest thrown in. Stiffly written, almost Sgt. Friday delivery. Maybe a proof reader would have helped.

99% sci fy 1 % incest. I hate sci fy...

Stories like these just leave me euphoric inside,Gail wanted her brother to take her cherry,and to give him a child so she devised a plan to clone him for 30 minutes so he could without anyone knowing she was carrying his child.I also liked how Emily also loved him too and also gave him a child.

But I wish after his initial first with Trudi why she didn't come back if David/Danny fucked her that first time,sure she was a slut but she was still worth keeping.I was a little surprised to find out before Gail lost her v-card she and Emily were muffdiver's and had sex regularly by eating each other and making out.

I think Gail,Emily,and David/Danny should continue that relationship.Oh and about all the BDSM that was a nice touch,to punish Bella for treating good people like shit for her own amusement,but David/Danny turned the tables on her and she became the target for her misdeeds.But the story flowed well and had a great ending so comps to the author.

Very nice plot and well written. There were a couple of mixed up names but it didn't interfere with the story for me. Good job.

(12/22/2022) Science Fiction?? Oh, no no no, my fellow readers. There were no aliens, spacecraft, robots, cyborgs, androids, phasers, disrupters, or lightsabers. This was a fantasy in the sword and the sorcerer subgenre. A contemporary sword and the sorcerer story. It mostly read like a diary to me but it didn’t make it less enjoyable. Very well done and five stars from me. I felt sorry for Trudi though, bummer.

VERY CLEVER!

Not sure I liked the style of this one. Seemed choppy to me, but it was consistent, so no fault there. Otherwise excellent story. 4/5

Generally, an enjoyable read. Minor irritations, changing names, when trick or treating, he conjured up a mummy and dismissed a skeleton and nodding to say no. In excess of 99.5% of the world population, nods their head for yes and shakes it for no.