by newcome1
Emotionless daughter, who had enough restraint not to lose her virginity before marriage but thinks so little of sex that she doesn't mind sharing with her mother??? It is one thing to create an unusual situation. Take the next step and have the creativity to do something with it.
This must be some superman -- wears out his new bride multiple times, m-i-l multiple times with no repercussions.
No explanation of how the mother justified having two children with no husband.
Definatetly needs more thought and emotion! Pretty lackluster. Needs more build up and more answers to all the emotions that are present or should be present.
Please work on your English. I found the writing a turn off though I found the idea very enticing. Second, put details in. By leaving them out, you leave out the build up and excitement.
don't listen to those assholes they don't know shit who cares what you write you did good
great story don't listen to those assholes everyone knows they are the one who needs help with english and spelling
don't listen to them they don't know shit about a good story like this
Great story. I very much enjoyed reading it, because I have a similar situation. Not exactly the same, but similar.
No build up, no suspense. Just a fast intro, no emotions, glanced over sex, no emotions, glanced over sex, and story over