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Bambi's Tears

byMy Erotic Tail©
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Comments (12)
by Anonymous

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by twelveoone11/03/04

Hit your stride

here.
Consider this:
"forever
down
a country road."
or even leaving "a country road" off

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by jd4george11/03/04

Nice read, MET!

But when I read it, the power and pacing of the images got a little chopped up with the short lines. What would happen if you let the lines break a little more naturally?

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by 11/03/04

*

Tender images in this MET. Very well done.

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by WickedEve11/03/04

well, my goodness

you really can write poetry. This really has some good stanzas at the beginning but near the end, it needs a little work. Still, this is good.

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by WickedEve11/03/04

one more thing

You wrote a GOOD poem with a BAD title. The title sounds sappy. Yes, I'm picking at your title and it's because you wrote a good poem, so give it a good title. :)

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by LilDarlin11/04/04

See the dear~

I live close to the Smokey Mountains.. have all my life.. I can see this as clear as a picture window..Beautiful, Artful.. Keep'm coming.. Loved this one.. I agree with the needs a new title..Artful poem like this, no Bambi here..Is still a great poem~~!!!!!

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by hippiedude11/04/04

Great poem

I've lived in a place where there were tons of deer and this really does happen a lot. I have to say that I almost didn't read this because of the title. So, I agree with who ever suggested that you might want to re name this.

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by templeminded11/04/04

hey love

very well done my love

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by Annora11/04/04

Flawless Beauty

Your words painted a beautiful picture for the words you so greatly use.

Thank you

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by LeBroz01/13/07

~~

A really good one with a powerful image of a fawn staying by the side of its dead mother; minor typos need fixing but mostly I agree with other comments about changing the title.

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by duddle14602/04/07

Outstanding.

A beautiful poignant rendering that rushes along to a sad conclusion. Beautifully written.

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by tazz31705/10/12

DO TEARS OF CLOWNS

discount pain and strifel TK U MLJ LV NV

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