Gorgeous tale of mother-daughter love!beautifully written! when the girl is in charge it does,nt matter how young they are!!
by
Anonymous11/08/04
Mmm, underage
Agreed. This is a rather well written and very hot story. I like how the daughter is in control of all the situations. More in the same vein would be much appreciated, especially longer ones with more plot.
I liked this story, but I think somebody has seen one too many porn movies.
Besides spelling mistakes (e.g. college not collage), and poor grammar, your story mainly suffers from the misperception that eroticism is based solely on the act, rather than the emotion the act generates.
First, I suggest you read Literotica's guidelines on how to write erotic fiction. They should help you to go beyond the "play by play" and enable you to capture the emotions of your characters.
Second, send your submission to Literotica for proofreading. Most of the problems that plague your piece, which do detract from its erotic potential, would have been flagged by a proofreader.
Finally, your story is obviously fantasy. Daughters having sex together, sharing boyfriends, flashing Dad, lusting after Mom, getting seduced by older, bisexual neighbor and finally, having sex with Mom. Whew! Just your typical porn movie family! You could have made it a comedy by having the dog narrate it, all from his point of you.
by
Anonymous11/08/04
Hmmmmmmm
A weird story, kind of hard to keep track of what was real and what was fantacy's.....Other than that not to bad...
by
Anonymous09/12/05
absolutely spectacular
i loved this story. its such an erotic tale of mother/daughter relations. i read it over and over again.
exsquisite!
by
Anonymous11/07/05
oh so hott
this story is so hot i like to role play the older neighbor to my teenage neighbor in chat rooms
by
Anonymous11/18/05
uh, what the hell
well i was almost brought to peuking...but in a good way.
by
Anonymous01/20/06
A review of repulsive and repugent garbage !!
I hardly think that bisexuality and incest have anything in common and did not find this piece of garbage acceptable. It was disguisting. As if there are not enough problems in the Gay and Lesiban commnities about being poor parents and parents who rape and try to insite incestious relationships between their children!!! For someone who can and will speak for the Gay and Lesiban communities, SHAME ON YOU AND YOUR POOR JUDGEMENT! Not all lesibans or bisexuals find this type of literature (if you wish to call it that) attractive!! In fact we find it repulsive and vile! It just goes to prove that the equality of people will never be, and that people will not understand the Gay and Lesiban culture! Its people like you, that help to TAKE AWAY PARENTS' RIGHTS TO CHILDREN AND GAY ADOPTION!!!
by
Anonymous02/03/06
get a life, people
This story was poorly written and badly executed - but those who have nothing better to do than whinge at the content should not have opened the story in the first place. The leader clearly states what the subject matter is - you all obviously only opened it so you could complain.
by
Anonymous02/26/06
Excellent!!!
Loved the mother and daughter play. Need more of when they get together again.
by
Anonymous02/28/06
writing
the writing was good, however I did spot some typos and it was somewhat passive. No run-ons. That is always good.
by
Anonymous05/15/06
I love incest stories
I love incest stories especially between mother and daughter they turn me on so much I wish I could see it live with them right in front of me so I could tape it.
I LOVE MOTHER AND DAUGHTER INCEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
by
Anonymous05/17/06
poorly written
the subject matter doesnt bother me, but the writing certainly does.
by
Anonymous05/31/06
Not the best, but a good effort
I love reading incest stories, especially mother/daughter ones, but I agree that the writing itself needs more work. However, keep in mind you have plenty of time to improve if this is just one of your first stories. No writer ever starts out perfect from the beginning, and even excellent writers have to practice frequently to improve and maintain their skills. I agree getting a proofreader is a great idea.
As far as the subject matter, some people obviously need to grow up. Fantasy is fantasy, and you won't find a single story here encouraging readers to engage in incestuous relationships. In fact, most stories don't encourage any type of relationship whatsoever. They are simply there to entertain us with some explicit fantasies.
Furthermore, if you know right from the beginning a story deals with incest, you have no right to complain about the subject matter later. It's like saying you don't like anal sex, then going and watching a porn movie with anal. You have no one to blame but yourself for your reaction.
I don't see how a fantasy incest story harms the gay community anymore than a fantasy rape story harms the heterosexual community, and I say this as someone who is as sympathetic to gays as a straight person can be. Also, as someone who was a teenager only a few years ago, I can tell you right up front many teens rarely care about the law when it comes to sex. They might not do the things in this story, but many teenagers don't wait until they're 18 to engage in sex. And yes, there are a few who delve into things beyond the standard. I once knew a girl who'd had a few experiences with much older partners before she was 18, and they were all willing. Trust me, she was fully capable of inflicting serious pain on anyone who tried to take advantage of her. Am I advocating underage sex, or saying that predators don't exist? Not at all. What I am saying is that not all teenagers are innocent, mindless, helpless little lambs that are oh-so-vulnerable to child predators. Neither will a simple little story lead someone to become a predator; things aren't that simple. On the contrary, ask any psychologist who they worry about the most, and it's people who are incapable of expressing any sexual fantasy.
The only thing the author might have done differently was placing the story in the incest section. That way, there's a clear warning about the content. On the other hand, the summary states clearly the couple involved, so you can't say there wasn't at least a hint of the content. As the old saying goes, if you can't stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen.
by
Anonymous07/20/06
Quite good.
I think it's pretty good, one of the only one's I print.
by
Anonymous09/09/06
sexy
This is a awsum story my size went big and i cumed.keep it up
by
Anonymous10/18/06
cool
by
Anonymous10/22/06
It's good they have someone like you on their side
How can you say you represent the gay community, and that no one else understands, when you misspelled 'lesbian' four times in one paragraph?
by
Anonymous11/05/06
I liked it and found it interesting
Although I did spot the grammatical errors I tend to overlook those since I doubt any on here are by professional writers. I loved the incestous angle and content. I did think it was a bit over the top to be realistic when throwing in swapping boyfriends and wanting Daddy to see her naked but all in all I liked it. Could have been better as some have said to feel the emotions as mother and daughter are touching each other lustfully for the first time. The first time is always a little awkward and nervous for any two people. I didn't feel that in this story but still a good effort. Wonder if there are any Real Mother/ Daughter sexual relationships where both are pleased by it or is it all immagination?
by
Anonymous01/07/07
ewww
that was distgusting and wrong, whoever wrote this is extremely sick in the head
by
Anonymous03/26/07
love it
great story love incest stories im sure lots have fantasies about their fam
by
Anonymous05/31/07
you sick bitch
you sick perv that is moraly and phisicaly wrong
by
Anonymous06/02/07
Poke, poke
Poke! It was a nice story and people who does not enjoy incest stories should not read them. Lacking in dialogue perhaps but that is just a personal opinion, but that does not matter. I enjoyed reading this one. My compliments Anna Maria_25...
Pengy
by
Anonymous07/14/07
good
Damn even though it was mother and daughter it still turned me on. The sex was incredible and the way the hints for each other was displayed,
I read this story a few years ago and loved it but forgot the title. I just had to rub my clit to hard my wrist is hurting. The only improvment i would suggest if for the other sister to get involved.....my hand is going back to my pussy now
by
Anonymous04/27/10
soooo wet
OMG THIS STORY WAS SO HOT. IM SO WET AN MY CLIT IS SO HARD AN THROBBING. IVE BEEN SLOWLY RUBBING IT WHILE I READ THIS STORY....I WISH I HAD A HOT GIRLS TONGUE ON IT RITE NOW. I WANA CUM SO BAD
by
Anonymous04/27/10
hoooooooot
OMG THIS STORY WAS SO HOT. IM SO WET AN MY CLIT IS SO HARD AN THROBBING. IVE BEEN SLOWLY RUBBING IT UHHHHHHHHHH I JUST HAD AN ORGASM WOOOOOOOOOOO ON TO CHAPTER 2
English
beautifully erotic story of underage!
Gorgeous tale of mother-daughter love!beautifully written! when the girl is in charge it does,nt matter how young they are!!
Mmm, underage
Agreed. This is a rather well written and very hot story. I like how the daughter is in control of all the situations. More in the same vein would be much appreciated, especially longer ones with more plot.
Bravo.
Good story but not much heat...
I liked this story, but I think somebody has seen one too many porn movies.
Besides spelling mistakes (e.g. college not collage), and poor grammar, your story mainly suffers from the misperception that eroticism is based solely on the act, rather than the emotion the act generates.
First, I suggest you read Literotica's guidelines on how to write erotic fiction. They should help you to go beyond the "play by play" and enable you to capture the emotions of your characters.
Second, send your submission to Literotica for proofreading. Most of the problems that plague your piece, which do detract from its erotic potential, would have been flagged by a proofreader.
Finally, your story is obviously fantasy. Daughters having sex together, sharing boyfriends, flashing Dad, lusting after Mom, getting seduced by older, bisexual neighbor and finally, having sex with Mom. Whew! Just your typical porn movie family! You could have made it a comedy by having the dog narrate it, all from his point of you.
Hmmmmmmm
A weird story, kind of hard to keep track of what was real and what was fantacy's.....Other than that not to bad...
absolutely spectacular
i loved this story. its such an erotic tale of mother/daughter relations. i read it over and over again.
exsquisite!
oh so hott
this story is so hot i like to role play the older neighbor to my teenage neighbor in chat rooms
uh, what the hell
well i was almost brought to peuking...but in a good way.
A review of repulsive and repugent garbage !!
I hardly think that bisexuality and incest have anything in common and did not find this piece of garbage acceptable. It was disguisting. As if there are not enough problems in the Gay and Lesiban commnities about being poor parents and parents who rape and try to insite incestious relationships between their children!!! For someone who can and will speak for the Gay and Lesiban communities, SHAME ON YOU AND YOUR POOR JUDGEMENT! Not all lesibans or bisexuals find this type of literature (if you wish to call it that) attractive!! In fact we find it repulsive and vile! It just goes to prove that the equality of people will never be, and that people will not understand the Gay and Lesiban culture! Its people like you, that help to TAKE AWAY PARENTS' RIGHTS TO CHILDREN AND GAY ADOPTION!!!
get a life, people
This story was poorly written and badly executed - but those who have nothing better to do than whinge at the content should not have opened the story in the first place. The leader clearly states what the subject matter is - you all obviously only opened it so you could complain.
Excellent!!!
Loved the mother and daughter play. Need more of when they get together again.
writing
the writing was good, however I did spot some typos and it was somewhat passive. No run-ons. That is always good.
I love incest stories
I love incest stories especially between mother and daughter they turn me on so much I wish I could see it live with them right in front of me so I could tape it.
I LOVE MOTHER AND DAUGHTER INCEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
poorly written
the subject matter doesnt bother me, but the writing certainly does.
Not the best, but a good effort
I love reading incest stories, especially mother/daughter ones, but I agree that the writing itself needs more work. However, keep in mind you have plenty of time to improve if this is just one of your first stories. No writer ever starts out perfect from the beginning, and even excellent writers have to practice frequently to improve and maintain their skills. I agree getting a proofreader is a great idea.
As far as the subject matter, some people obviously need to grow up. Fantasy is fantasy, and you won't find a single story here encouraging readers to engage in incestuous relationships. In fact, most stories don't encourage any type of relationship whatsoever. They are simply there to entertain us with some explicit fantasies.
Furthermore, if you know right from the beginning a story deals with incest, you have no right to complain about the subject matter later. It's like saying you don't like anal sex, then going and watching a porn movie with anal. You have no one to blame but yourself for your reaction.
I don't see how a fantasy incest story harms the gay community anymore than a fantasy rape story harms the heterosexual community, and I say this as someone who is as sympathetic to gays as a straight person can be. Also, as someone who was a teenager only a few years ago, I can tell you right up front many teens rarely care about the law when it comes to sex. They might not do the things in this story, but many teenagers don't wait until they're 18 to engage in sex. And yes, there are a few who delve into things beyond the standard. I once knew a girl who'd had a few experiences with much older partners before she was 18, and they were all willing. Trust me, she was fully capable of inflicting serious pain on anyone who tried to take advantage of her. Am I advocating underage sex, or saying that predators don't exist? Not at all. What I am saying is that not all teenagers are innocent, mindless, helpless little lambs that are oh-so-vulnerable to child predators. Neither will a simple little story lead someone to become a predator; things aren't that simple. On the contrary, ask any psychologist who they worry about the most, and it's people who are incapable of expressing any sexual fantasy.
The only thing the author might have done differently was placing the story in the incest section. That way, there's a clear warning about the content. On the other hand, the summary states clearly the couple involved, so you can't say there wasn't at least a hint of the content. As the old saying goes, if you can't stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen.
Quite good.
I think it's pretty good, one of the only one's I print.
sexy
This is a awsum story my size went big and i cumed.keep it up
cool
It's good they have someone like you on their side
How can you say you represent the gay community, and that no one else understands, when you misspelled 'lesbian' four times in one paragraph?
I liked it and found it interesting
Although I did spot the grammatical errors I tend to overlook those since I doubt any on here are by professional writers. I loved the incestous angle and content. I did think it was a bit over the top to be realistic when throwing in swapping boyfriends and wanting Daddy to see her naked but all in all I liked it. Could have been better as some have said to feel the emotions as mother and daughter are touching each other lustfully for the first time. The first time is always a little awkward and nervous for any two people. I didn't feel that in this story but still a good effort. Wonder if there are any Real Mother/ Daughter sexual relationships where both are pleased by it or is it all immagination?
ewww
that was distgusting and wrong, whoever wrote this is extremely sick in the head
love it
great story love incest stories im sure lots have fantasies about their fam
you sick bitch
you sick perv that is moraly and phisicaly wrong
Poke, poke
Poke! It was a nice story and people who does not enjoy incest stories should not read them. Lacking in dialogue perhaps but that is just a personal opinion, but that does not matter. I enjoyed reading this one. My compliments Anna Maria_25...
Pengy
good
Damn even though it was mother and daughter it still turned me on. The sex was incredible and the way the hints for each other was displayed,
Age Rule
Is the Age Rule of Lit. NOT applicable to stories?
Is there a double standard between the Bulletin Boards and Submitted Stories? That doesn't seem fair.
hell yes!!!!
I loved it. I think more moms and daughter should fuck!
wow!loved it!
i really really loveddd it .. so much detail it was great!:)
WTF?!
Not only did you have incest but also pedophilia. You are one sick fuck! Go get some help!
YumYum
omg that story is amazin, im so wet. please please write more like this, loved the part about the wet panties
oh my
that story is amazin, ive fingered myself everyday this week thinking bout it, wow im sooooooooo wet
Loved every word of it.
I read your story and loved every word of it. Got wet between mine legs miself and came if I never did before.
fucking amazing
oh my fucking gosh. i was a little creeped out at first. but gosh im so fucking horny now. thank you. i want to fukc you!!
:(
Incest. :(:(:(
mother daughter fucks r awesome!
the story is the best incest story ive ever heard. kudos 2 u!
shit this was good :)
OMFG i wanked to this story my pussy is dripping now!
Great story! A-
*OKIE accent* That was haaawwwt! Seriously, this was both touching and sexy all in one! Perhaps a third entry in the series if you're still writing?!
wtf
wtf it would have been soooo betta if the mom would have licked the pussy not the girl geeezzzz
wow
Damn im wet
so fucking good
Omg. this was so hot. ive been masturbating the whole time. im so fucking wet cause of this. good story.
o m g.
this story is fucking crazy! hot too ;]
omg
2 words. im.wet. lol i had to mastrubate after this
that is sooooo sexy. they should have been in bed insead of in the bathroom though
MMMM
I'm so wet. I'm rubbing myself right now. Ughh, this is like the perfect sex story to me.
HOT
This is all fantasy and people have to remember..............IT WAS OMG HOT!! Love the mother/daughter sex...mmm mmm
Hot, but bad written
Juicy, wet, and fucking hot! Poorly written, a lot of spelling and grammar. Editing would have made it all the better!
OMFG
I loved ths I'm a lez nd I had a orgy nd omfg it waz sooooooooo good. Btw I liked the ritin but I do agree about the bedroom thng. Thnks 4 ritin dis
oh my god
I read this story a few years ago and loved it but forgot the title. I just had to rub my clit to hard my wrist is hurting. The only improvment i would suggest if for the other sister to get involved.....my hand is going back to my pussy now
soooo wet
OMG THIS STORY WAS SO HOT. IM SO WET AN MY CLIT IS SO HARD AN THROBBING. IVE BEEN SLOWLY RUBBING IT WHILE I READ THIS STORY....I WISH I HAD A HOT GIRLS TONGUE ON IT RITE NOW. I WANA CUM SO BAD
hoooooooot
OMG THIS STORY WAS SO HOT. IM SO WET AN MY CLIT IS SO HARD AN THROBBING. IVE BEEN SLOWLY RUBBING IT UHHHHHHHHHH I JUST HAD AN ORGASM WOOOOOOOOOOO ON TO CHAPTER 2
Hot!!
So fucking hot my pussy is soo fucking wet
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