All Comments on 'Pantiless Missy at the Mall'

"shite plaid skirt" ??

Every shoe store clerk's fantasy and to read that a woman loved it too....well!

would love to find a woman walking the mall like that. Great story idea, unfortunately, it was really choppy, and not very readilble, took alot away from a great idea.

The situation is very hot, but the writing needs a little work. It would be much better with dialogue, too.

The other thing I would suggest is that the peeking and views take place while Missy is seated in the shoe-trying-on seat. This provides perfect opportunity for viewing of her pussy by the store clerk. Leg spreading and skirt-pulling-up can easily take place that way.

I just can't get passt (passed) stories where the writer uses incorrect english. I just don't understand why people will write the "word" as leant, which I assume you meant to be leaned. Please write words correctly, it makes the stories much more readable.

One of the best stories I have ever read on here

While weak English may be annoying, it is a little unfair to criticise someone who has turned a good idea into a story, and in a language other than their own. Try it some time! It annoys me that many of these are written in American and not English, but there you are.

For the author, keep the ideas coming. It would be good to get it edited a little to help readabilty - any English friends ?

iluved the story made me wet

This is a tough crew! The first time I read it I was too-shall we say- engrossed to see what was so important to our group of English teachers. I was surprised by the comments and went back and read the story as an editor and quickly saw why I had missed the issues others noted. I took the "irregularities" to be part of your character and scene development. They made the situation and people more real which added to the vividness of my imagination. I guess it's a matter of what one wants to concentrate upon. Brandi, please keep writing and let these turkeys worry about topping their "I's and crossing their "Ts". (Personally I prefer topless and uncrossed) Thanks for a hot and fun story.

it made me so wet and horney i had to use a cucumber in my pussy. i orgasmed 5 times!!! plz right a sequal.

Hot plot, but poorly written :(

When I read it, I instantly felt my pussy getting intensely wet. Write more stories like this one.

The story was great screw the english. The only thing I would have changed was to make Jessica equally hot and pantieless and have the two end up closing the store and fucking each other with the heels of the sought after shoes. The image of the fat Jessica was deflating what the image of Missy was inflating. If they were both hot I would have cum in my pants.

I don't see why you put so much time and effort into trying to make this other girl so disgusting, even going so far as to say her pussy gives off a nasty odor. I understand it's your story, but why didn't you just make Jessica a decently attractive girl?? I literally stopped reading mid-story because I couldn't get over Fat Nasty Jessica.

British use 'learnt' instead of learned...

When you write such things as "Jessica bent down and as she did a nasty odor came from her nasty pussy," it is such a turn off that it makes people not even want to continue reading your story. It doesn't make sense to go out of your way to write bad things about your characters, it just doesn't make sense! (Unless your aim is to insult someone you know in real life who shares the name of your character, but either way it doesn't make for a good, enjoyable story for the rest of us.)