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English
your poem
is very interesting and it's mentioned on the new poems review thread on the literotica poetry forum.
Your Work
Your works read like the interesting e-mail I get from a friend in Texas. It is full of strong thoughts and images and makes great reading, like a coffee house journal, if you know the writer. - What it lacks is a structure that will make the richness of the words more avaiable to the average reader. This appears (IMHO) to be a good example of writing for oneself and not for a wider audience. If indeed you are doing so, why bother to post it for the world to see?. If not, think about making easier for others to enjoy. Learn to read your own work as if someone else had written it and you were seeing it for the first time. (You will be surprised at how often that lets you see things that can/should be changed to improve the piece.)
Just say "No" to thermo-thingies!
Different
and tasty. I felt truly immersed in everything with poem. Bravo!
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