All Comments on 'Luck Pt. 10 - Four-Leaf Clover'

You missed a plot twist in Mschuleft. Searching for the hidden real library of Magic Codices.

This was a very fun story. For Literotica, it was light on sex. But the two sex scenes you had were hot. Will Alanna use magic to keep herself from getting pregnant?

Obviously, Talos and Alana are bonded. This story was a Romance after all. But that limits the sexual dramatic conflict for the second story. It's not a question of, will they or won't they? It's not a question of, how far will she go with him? So where is the tension?

The question becomes, how do you bring sexual tension back to their relationship? Personally, I think Talos and Alanna should get married! Talos could have the expectation be that he will continue adventuring while Alanna maintains a home, and raises their many children. Obviously, Alanna will have none of that. She's just as brave and adventurous as Talos.

Alanna just lost her virginity. Although she loves Talos, and wants to be married to him. She may be eager to sow some wild oats, open their marriage to mutual sexual adventures with others (maybe a cute Elf, or Nixie, or a beautiful Sorceress with a canine cock)! Or open their marriage to individual adventures as they arise. And that could lead to tension and jealousy between the two. There is an opportunity for both good story and good sex scenes down that road!

I would love to see the Adventuring Party expand. So, that there would be real risk with each battle that one of them might die or be critically injured. Also, you expand the opportunities for interesting sex scenes!

Talos was injured by the wyvern, but were there any lasting effects from that? Is he slowed? Does he have chronic pain? Does he have sores that won't heal properly? Is Alanna forced to regularly cast Restoration Spells on Talos? So will they need to seek a more permanent cure? Talos being dependent on Alanna might be an interesting twist. He's been independent and self-assured for so long.

Sorry. Long comment. And I've still got more to say. If you want to chat about it, you could find me on Twitter.

-GrantLeeStone

It seems I figured something out about Lit, as well. I found Lit and starting reading here about 16-18 months after it launched, but didn't really understand some of the mechanics of how things worked until I was reading Luck.

I should explain. For some reason, the combination of my Internet connection and this iPad makes loading next pages and new chapters slow. Though it doesn't make sense, I found if I went to the URL field, and manually changed the page or chapter number, the page would load much faster, and never hang.

Occasionally, I would run across a story which didn't have the 'More in This Series' box at the bottom of the last chapter page. I could never figure put why it wasn't there.

I realized, while reading Luck, it is because the creation function is automatic, and if the chapter number is in the middle of the title, the story is not recognized as a series.

The point? If you ever decide to re-write your first couple of submissions, either combine the multiple, single page stories into a single chapter with multiple pages, or put the chapter at the end of the title.

You have a great imagination, and have created an interesting world. You write well, both mechanically, and artistically. But, more than anything, you make an old editor smile: you actually know how, and when, to use a damn comma!

Don't recall any semi-colons, so there's still room for learning and skill development. You might, or might not, be amazed at how many Lit stories I read where I wonder if the writer has even heard of a comma, let alone use them.

You'd think they cost extra, or something.

Thanks for sharing your imagination, and world; especially, thanks for all the work it takes to put together a submission at the technical level you have.

I very much appreciate the reading material.

Regards,

GeoD

What a truly gifted author . The full spectrum . I am enjoying your works tremendously . Thank you

Hopefully it was a good deal 92 golden crowns and a smiling mage

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🍀