by PO469
I enjoyed your writing, Don't understand prior comment on dialogue... to each his own I guess(pun intended). Keep writing.
I liked it even though you changed from first person to third person and then back to first person. I would have liked to see the two women go at it, too.
Who can say they are prefect? Get it? I intentionally misspelled the word perfect. If the works of a writer sucks the star rating indicate the true level of the feelings of the readers. Sure there will be the negative assholes that feel their voice must be heard instead of just giving a shitty star rating, your success reminds them of their failure.
I can see it now, two hot moms in a hotel room, nude on all fours and being fucked by a team of young studs. I thank you for not making each dick huge, the one guy with the average dick that was reluctant to get into the action seemed very real. The mental sight of the middle age mother that has some fat and her large tits swaying are real life figures that I can relate too.
Please keep up the efforts to hone your writing skills and seek out an editor, I know that might be difficult with the subject.
Good question, considering zero effort went toward justifying why anyone was doing anything. This was nothing more than a collection of names being put through motions.
Not easy to believe this story line.
In real life this will never happen. V
The last time Tim is mentioned is...
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Tim took his mother's hand off of his shaft and he walked over. He gently pushed Ted away and said, "I want her first. After all, my mom is sucking off her son so it only seems fair."
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After that it's Ted who fucks her, not Tim.
Thanks for the heads up on the Tim / Ted switch. I asked how to go back in and correct it and was told that there is no way.
Both these moms got fucked Young guys Hope they hot prégnant too.my friends and me gangbanged my mom she took 3 of us in Her cunt and1 in Her ass Then bad 1 cock shoved down Her throat wé fucked Her hard getting Her To cum 4 times in a row until wé All cum sametime wé for Her prégnant wé even for thé other moms dôme wé took by force and wé for thé other moms prégnant too All together 12 of them got prégnant sametime
Could’ve been so much hotter with some investment in describing looks, glances, flirtations, fantasies, etc. prior to the big reveal when she returned with the pizzas. This story is like a quick fuck without foreplay. Yeah, it’s hot but there’s no build-up of sexual tension / desire.
Like the part where the moms got gangbanged they should of had one in the cunt and one in the ass at sametime
A good and very honest story. A soccer team is 11 players so they were short of three? But never mind, my rugby team is 15 plus three reserves, making 18 guys. What you described happens frequently on away matches. The chaperoning mothers (usually three of them) get overwhelmed by the heady presence of so much adolescent testosterone and it does not take long for them to succumb. Once one cracks the others soon follow. Usually done in a couple of dark interconnecting rooms so you may fuck your Mom, or you may not....just luck of the draw. I have never woken up with mine, but cannot say what happened during the night.
Loved this story and very similair what time what happened with my mother ……An entire soccer team Gangbanged her and I was told just to watch but occasionly join in …by the time they were finished 12 guys (and me ) had gangbanged her and she gave the best BJ’s ever too