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Strait jacked

bytungtied2u©
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by Anonymous

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by LilDarlin11/17/04

Sadness~

What a poem. The sadness just reaches out and grabs ya.. Loved the imagery. So deep this poem. Can feel it all around you. The emotion shown here is just overwhelming.
*only to feel the waters rise up
from the well of my soul*
outstanding.. loved this line~~!!
Keep'm coming~~!!

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by WickedEve11/17/04

one suggestion

Sometimes, for no reason sadness
wraps me like a straitjacket

Consider moving sadness down to the beginning of the next line.

Good poem.

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.....

Sometimes, for no reason sadness
wraps me like a straitjacket
squeezes my chest, chokes the breath
from my lungs in short, shallow gasps

Prehaps:
Sometimes, for no reason
sadness wraps me like a strait jacket-only thing I noticed
that took away from the nice flow.

But, it really pulled me in. I thought it was a GREAT title. This is definitely fabulous work with wonderful choice of words. Filled with emotions, drawing me in....suffocating pain!!

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