All Comments on 'Taken to the Cabin Ch. 05'

by WhisperingLilac

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  • 20 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousabout 6 years ago
Yes!!

Was about to fall asleep and then thought I would check to see if you updated. Glad I did because I woke myself up real quick when I saw the updated chapter. I loooved it, and I really hope that the wait until chapter 6 isn’t too long.

LittledanaeLittledanaeabout 6 years ago
Perfect perfect perfect!!

Like the previous anon, I checked your story before going to bed and I'm incredibly glad I did. I definitely could feel the tone shift in this chapter compared to the previous chapters; you do a beautiful job at conveying emotions and a sense of atmosphere with your writing. Lovely work yet again, and im very excited to see how this new dynamic between Violet and Seth changes things. I did also really like the internal comments by Seth about using this new approach as a way to manipulate Violet. It's a great indicator that he's still the same sadist as before, simply with a new approach. I absolutely cannot wait for the next chapter and this new start for your characters!

magevmagevabout 6 years ago
please please please

I like that there's changes, but please don't let her succumb to this, please please please let her escape and put him in jail!!! preferrably crippled!!!

AnonymousAnonymousabout 6 years ago
Why do you write?

You are not a good writer. You don't have the voice for writing! You clearly copied from other stories and made it into your own boring words. TERRIBLE story!

AnonymousAnonymousabout 6 years ago

Hi,

I am enjoying your story and do look forward to the chapters. However for me if there happens to be a grammar or spelling error I tend to get pulled out of the story. For example in this chapter you use the word strided, which although is a word, being the past participle of stride, sounded wrong in the context in which you used it. The more common word to use would have been strode, and when I used both words out loud, strode did sound better.

As I do have a qualification in writing and do tend to write quite a lot, though not yet published, I am working on that, I feel that a great tool for any writer to use, is to read your work aloud, to hear how it sounds, and if you stumble somewhere you can be sure that another reader will also stumble. :)

You do have a great sense of emotion in your writing, and some wonderful words and phrases.

I encourage you to keep writing and to discover and implement as many writing tools as you can to keep your work improving. I look forward to chapter 6.

Thankyou

WhisperingLilacWhisperingLilacabout 6 years agoAuthor
Taking all your comments on board!

Wow, thanks for all the feedback! I love that I have to opportunity to discuss my story with the readers themselves, as it genuinely does help to shape the story.

To the first anon and littledanae; that was good timing haha! I’m so glad you are enjoying it, your words inspire me to continue. I’m not sure what the ETA will be for Ch. 06, but I am writing it at the moment :)

Magev; without giving anything away about the future chapters, I think that despite being quite a shy and meek person in her normal life, Violet has proven to have moments of bravery. In this chapter, she definitely shows a more submissive side, but she is also very tired, emotionally wrought, and counting herself quite lucky that she hasn’t received the punishment she was expecting for running away. So, whether she eventually succumbs or not, Seth isn’t going to have an easy ride! Thanks for reading!

To the second anon; I’m sorry you don’t like my writings, although I understand they will not be for everyone. In terms of stealing content, however, I absolutely reject that idea. I will admit that I have read hundreds of stories on Literotica over the years, many of which have educated me and inspired me, so I’m sure that there may be some moments or concepts which are similar to other stories (for instance, many kidnap stories have an escape attempt storyline and I know some have scenes where the master allows the slave to speak freely for a short period of time to progress their relationship), however, I really do not think I have stolen anything.

And the third anon; I truly appreciate your genuinely helpful, constructive advice. I do find that sometimes when I write things, I then stumble over them when reading them back, so I try to reread and rewrite a chapter several times before I actually send it off for publication. With every reread, I feel like it gets better and flows easier, but I am aware that it is still full of imperfections, your ‘strode/strided’ comment being a perfect example of this. I’d never thought of reading it out loud and that sounds like a great idea, thank you. If you ever have any other advice, I’d love to hear it.

As always, thank you all so much for reading and commenting.

~WhisperingLilac

AnonymousAnonymousabout 6 years ago

I have to agree: this story's been told a million times before. I also struggle with your grammar, particularly your verb tenses "Previously in that kitchen you have both verbally disrespected me and ran away...." It's jarring and distracting.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 6 years ago
Love love lovvveee!!!

love this! you are amazing, cant wait for the next chapters! I hope she succumbs to being his slave!! not before defying him again though ;)

AnonymousAnonymousabout 6 years ago
Love THIS!

Ignore the people saying they dont like this. I absolutely love this story so far please please keep writing!!!!!! Its so believable, keep writing please

AnonymousAnonymousabout 6 years ago
Brilliant....

I am both a reader and a writer and have read many, many stories over the years....You're writing is unique and captivating.

The depth of emotion is excellent and the storyline perfect.

I particularly like the dichotomy you've woven with Seth, strong and firm, tender and loving, hurt and angry.

Very human yet intelligent and manipulate, he's put forethought and effort into this and continues to do so while remaining one step ahead of Violet.

By you're writing its clear you funnel your intelligence into the storyline and characters which is so rare and quite pleasing to see.

You're doing fantastic and you're writing is developing wonderfully.

Please keep it up!

I would only ask for longer chapters if possible. :)

Awaiting chapter 6 in delightful anticipation, although please don't make us wait too long. ;)

~Razzberry

AnonymousAnonymousabout 6 years ago
Love this!

Love this story so much!

NativeWhisperNativeWhisperabout 6 years ago
Remarkable

I am hooked on this story. I am eager to read on. You have a real talent with writing.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 6 years ago
Im addicted to this story!!

I was so incredibly excited at seeing there was another installment of this! Thank you! I love the way this one was written and I can't wait for the next chapter!!

WhisperingLilacWhisperingLilacabout 6 years agoAuthor
Thank you!!!

Thank you so much everyone :) I'm working on Ch.06, trying my best to get it written as soon as I can, but I don't want to rush it; trying to make it a bit of a longer chapter, with a few interesting scenes.

Thanks again; I have the best readers!

Much love and watch this space for Ch.06...

~WhisperingLilac

Vault_BVault_Babout 6 years ago
Wow!

This is one of my favorite series of chapters on literotica. I have it bookmarked so I can reread it and look out for the next chapters! <3

AnonymousAnonymousabout 6 years ago
Sir vs Master

I hope you will keep writing and improving the characterization for the heroine and for the bad guy. Can I please ask that , in accordance with the modern usage of the word, you switch to Master instead of &quot;Sir&quot; . Sir you can call anyone everyday and it means absolutely nothing. A slave , even if reluctantly ,addresses herself as a slave, is addressed as such and in turn address her de facto owner ....As her Master? If you dropped the repetitive and incorrect use of Sir as synonym with Master, that would be a good start on the road to story improvement. Keep writing!

WhisperingLilacWhisperingLilacabout 6 years agoAuthor
Master > Sir

First of all, thank you so much for your kind words, Vault_B! I hope Ch. 06 is just as enjoyable for you.

As for the anon advising me on the use of 'Master' as opposed to 'Sir', this is not the first comment I have received pertaining to this, but it has finally convinced me that it would make a difference in the story. Thus, I am currently editing Ch. 06 to reflect this modification and also include a short exchange between the characters introducing the adjustment. I'm very grateful for your constructive comment, which has allowed me to hopefully improve my writing!

I'm blessed to have readers who are willing to be patient with me as I develop my own writing style and guide me along the way.

~WhisperingLilac

AnonymousAnonymousabout 6 years ago

O fuckkk I really really loved the last 2 paragraph... Seth is getting more devious and i like it 😈... Keep it up

AnonymousAnonymousover 5 years ago
Noncon not consent based bdsm

Master vs sir again. This guy isn't really a master. He's a fricking psycho kidnapper wanna be. If he wants to be called sir, then he gets called sir. He's not worthy if the title master anyway. That title is earned. I think your first inclination was correct.

WhisperingLilacWhisperingLilacalmost 4 years agoAuthor
All Feedback is Appreciated

Thanks for taking the time to comment, anons :) Much appreciated!

~WhisperingLilac

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After enjoying plenty of amazing stories on here, I thought I'd try my hand at submitting my own! I'm a complete amateur, but I hope you like my uploads - please feel free to leave any constructive comments. Taken to the Cabin is completed! Thank you to all my incredible read...

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