All Comments on 'Zenith'

I thought this was very erotic, Ellen, and nicely done. My only quibble is with the title. The images getting to release I found interesting, and “zenith” was the obvious culmination and could have been inferred. “The Most Pristine Table,” or something similar, I think, would have suggested more.

Then again, I like it when titles are anticipatory sets for what follows.

Good poem. combines erotica with intimacy, a rarely achieved objective. Suggest omitting 'like tableware' - it seems a bit forced.

GMT's right about Zenith it doesnt have a connection. Possibly you could have introduced a wry smile by getting your table/laying simile into the title.

But overall very good a strong 5.

Some of the lines are beautifully erotic (the weight between

your legs). Others are rawer, perhaps meant to shock (How you want to ram

into me).

If it were me (which of course it isn't), I would excise the last line of S6 - it is not unnecessary - and the comma before spooned. Just my opinion.

And afterwards,

when we lay spooned

quiet and sorted and couched, we

could always be ready again to set even the most

pristine table

and open each other like a new wine.

Very nice.

A very beautiful and sensuous poem. Nice work.

Very nice Ellen, but I think some may have missed your clues on the dissimilarities between the two lovers. His size, maybe the differences in age - "sex makes no sense."

"Spooned together like tableware" - differences in body types, like a knife and fork, with the tines possibly spread apart.

I loved the visuals I believe your words painted.

~M