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English
Your muse is on a roll, I see
They just keep coming. Brief but deeply moving, as always. More please. Mat
:)
Nice work.
very creative
and filled with wisdom...great poem imp~
Swiftly
flowing into my minds eye and making me smile with the knowledge that someone else feels as I do. How to do that so briefly, ill never know. Excellent job, Imp.
You were right...
this rings all the right bells for me. Nicely done indeed. Think I just may have to forward this to a friend...
concise and telling!
I think this poem would have read better if you had continued the "need not" line into the final stanza as well. Otherwise, quite good!
What
...the heck are you talking about sack? That last stanza made the poem... it's meant to leave us thinking ya nutcase lol
j/k
Awesome job sis, loved it and I love the layout!!!
Top job ;-)
more about the last stanza....
The format of the second line of each stanza is "need not be.....verb(past tense)." But in the last stanza, the poet uses "need only be ours." Huh?? A different tense, a different number of syllables (4 versus 5 or 6), a different rhythm, none of which work at all. Only a woman would do something as "out there" as that....it made me think all right, think about how this poem could have been concluded much more effectively, without such a mawkish sentiment!
un"imp"ressed Sack (with the ending, anyway!)
I'm not into (99% of) poetry...
More than that, the sentiments here are (were?) not mine.
But after those caveats, this did get to me - made me question my starting points.
Don't change the last stanza. The small change in format was part of why this hit me in my guts.
OK, this poem almost certainly won't change my life, but I'm left thinking that maybe it should!
Eff
sheesh sack
I'm sure Imp is loving your trashing of her poem.
I did my post as a joke, but now I'm not.
That last stanza, to me, made the poem. It left the reader feeling, which is what poetry is about is it not?
I don't care if it wasn't poetically correct, perfect... it left me feeling. Period.
That's why I comment on 'some' poetry. The ones that leave me with an impression. A thought. A memory. A glimmer of hope, inspiration.
This poem did all that to me. Crawl back to your sinical hole and stop picking flaws in a fantastic piece of work.
Oh, and merry christmas lol...
carry on... ;-)
More about endings....
Mouse, I would disagree that commenting about 1 stanza out of an entire poem =trashing. And you are right, the ending of a poem does need to leave one with a feeling, an ecstasy, an enlightenment, etc. This ending had me shaking my head...not ONLY because of the structure but because of the icky sticky sentiment that is all too common in women's poetry. Hate to sound so sexist, but it's true. Lauren Hyde is so spectacularly popular because she doesn't follow this cotton candy formula. Her poems are startling, dramatic, vivid, and yes, stereotypically "masculine." It's not about being cynical....it's about being tired of the Mary Poppins Cookie Cutter Cutesy-Tootsey approach to poetry that is so common on Lit. In any case, I'm doing Imp a big favor by calling attention to this poem. People will vote highly on it to defend her, and therefore she will get enough votes for an "H". You see, Doormouse, there is a method to my madness!
Sack (you're welcome, Imp)
So...
...so.
Only.
No more, no less.
I....
love this. I used to be able to write things that made sense too. Now it comes out crap. It really is reality too.
Beautiful
Elegant. Wise. Inspired. Acceptance with barely a hint of longing.
not sure
I still do not understand why Imp's poems get so many comments while other excellent poems go completely ignored. While not deserving of the anon comments, the rest of the admiring masses, well it has me quite puzzled.
not sure? me either
she shows very little "talent or imagination' she has many friends. That would explain it
I'm with Puck
I wish they had 0's cause that is what you deserve.
No talent at all, dear. Give it up.
Hmm not sure I agree
Oh well....I seldom comment on poems because I don't consider myself a poet....BUT...I have to on this one.
Those people trashing your poem are particularly hurtful and unfair as I think it's a DAMN good one. One I wish I had written :)
Don't let anybody tell you otherwise Imp...it left me thinking of all those feelings unsaid and unfelt.
Kudos to you.
God!
Talent obviously doesnt grow on trees or Impressive would have some.
Huh
The ending is cutesy? I personaly think rules are made for one purpose and one alone...to be broken.
ty,bd
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