All Comments on 'Overtime'

Hmmmmmm. Was she married? Were you married? You don't say, and if one or both of you were, it would have been much more erotic....

The characters and the story content were good but your style (or lack of it) made reading very, very difficult, hence the 75%. It is hard to tell who is saying what! You have two people carry out a conversation without using any inverted commas (") to differentiate between them. You can't get away with such bad form. I suggest that you get someone to proof read or advise you. Keep trying!