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bybebechick©
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by Anonymous

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by TUCSON RED12/07/04

GOOD START

Felt this was a good turn on.

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by FCGuy11/10/05

Could have been better

Please slow down next time. Also do a better job of proofreading. It's "definitely". Not "defiantly"! Nice try, though.

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by FCGuy11/10/05

Could have been better

Please slow down next time. Also do a better job of proofreading. It's "definitely". Not "defiantly"! Nice try, though.

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by Anonymous03/20/07

Alright

The premise is good...needs a little more at the end.

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by Anonymous05/19/09

great potential

try slowing down & elaborating more. premise is hot, your just need a little character development & more details. like to see your next attempt.

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