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English
alarming alliteration
The story was ok, but what really sunk it for me was the alliteration. You went too far trying to find words that started with the same letters, and ended up sacrificing eroticism for 3 words with the letter P at the start.
Fair Enough
I appreciate the feedback, thank you! Honest criticism is better then empty praise.
-Veronica
I'm hooked
I loved this one. I'm a fan of your work. I can't get enough of this story, I'm in love with the whole story.
Meh
Truely, it was good but not the best I've read. I thought you worked far too hard to find synonyms and 'creative' ways to descrive his cock. While I appriciate the effort, the alliteration and the fact that some of them were down right...weird...put me off :) Stick to some normal things :P and you'll be good.
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