by nosebone
Wow! Best I've read in years. I wait impatiently for the next installment
All uncles and nieces should experience such uninhibited love. Having brother and sister history makes it so much better.
May I offer you some advice?
When a character completes a sentence, it should look like this:
"Mmmm yes, let's just do it, John," she replied.
Not like this:
"Mmmm yes, let's just do it, John." She replied.
As the character finishes speaking, it should follow with a comma, not a period. Also, do not capitalize 'she' or 'he.' Capitalizing implies the beginning of a new sentence.
Look at those two examples closely and use them on your next endeavors. I know some may say I'm nit-picking.... and I am. I only offer advice to authors who write good stories that need to be smoothed up, so to speak.
Nosebone you are on the way to another epic tale. good work.
This is the only comment I have left on this site. This story is so calm, relaxing. It just quietly rolls out in a satisfying journey.
..., it may very well seem like nitpicking, but it can be little things like that that can make or break a story. It's a matter of continuity, when small, simple errors make the reader stop to see what the author was intending.
Aside from that, it's been a great story so far. And I look forward to it 's continuation!
5 stars. And thank you for a good read.
This is the first time I have ever commented on a story in all the years I have been visiting this site. I wanted to say....very well thought out and written. This is one of the most emotionally lifting stories I have ever read. Loved it....please write more....you are a natural writer and it shows very clearly. 10 out of 10 !!!
Nitpick: "She smiled, patting my arm as I shifted gears."
BUT: "The only transmission available on the 458 is a 7-speed dual-clutch automatic gearbox by Getrag, in a different state of tune shared with the Mercedes-Benz SLS AMG.[8] There is no traditional manual option, making this the first mainstream model to not be offered with a manual transmission."