Raiders of the Galaxy Ch. 02

Good Writing, but...

Good writing but the plot jumps all over the place with little connection between all of the characters that you've introduced. It would be more enjoyable for the reader if you'd fully develop the pirates horde before going into the storyline about Bone and his mistress. Also, while well written, there are no real sympathetic characters in either story. It seems that you are unsure as to who the main character(s) should be.

On the upside, the story is well written and the character interaction is interesting. Good luck!