All Comments on 'The Wrong Side of Smart'

And what a ride it was. From first to last, thoroughly entertaining. A writing tour-de-force. A glimpse into the mind of the woman who left. A major story from a major author. Thank you. Randi.

Ugh, couldn't get past page one, poor me, poor me, if you wanted to write a character so boring, so self entitled and bitchy, you succeeded and there's randi as usual with her over the top praise.

Jan didn't actually get it. She still had the attitude that cost here everything.

"Still. Amber. What kind of name is that? What is she, sixteen?"

Some people never learn it seems.

If Randi's was I guess mine will be too. I don't know who you are, but you just sound like some jealous moron. Do you actually think you're accomplishing anything by attacking someone who makes a nice comment on a story? You just look like some jealous dick.

I actually liked Jan. Sure, she was a delusional bitch, but she grew, she listened, even if she didn't want to listen, she realized the consequences of what she'd done, tried to fix them and just lived with what she couldn't fix. There're plenty of delusional people out there. I meet them every day. They're not all evil, just self-centered and childish. You hope they grow up, as Jan seems to be. This was a five star story, all the way. So, five stars. RPL

You do this kind of story so well. You should forget that Ingrams stuff and just stick to writing stories like this. This was great!

Loved this, hate the Ingrams stories. Gave you a five for this.

That was worth staying up for.

This is the best writing you've ever done. A unique look, as far as I can remember. Not your average cuck or BTB story. Something different and good. 5*****

Top notch story. Outstanding characterization of Jan's personality. Great read.

See? Being selfcentered is easy. Building this portrait of Jan was amazing. Show her reactions, the responses and then sis comes back to strip away the clutter. Not the most exciting plot yet a wonderful wander to catharsis. 5 stars. (By the way I have a genius son that has challenged every thought anyone offered him for most of 30 years--often to his detriment. Your "wrong side of smart" defines his approach perfectly.)

Thank you, this was well worth staying up late to read. I've always been impressed at how real-world your characters seem, and that was certainly true here. The main character seemed blessed and cursed with her intellect, flawed and very human. I really appreciate that you write, and that I have a chance to read what you've written.

If I were to make one observation on the writing, it is that you are very good at expressing the thoughts and feelings of the characters, but spend very little time filling in the places they occupy. To me, it makes the stories a little less real. When I read stories by published authors like Ruthie Knox or Molly O'Keefe -- romance writers, probably closest to what I read here at literotica -- there is a stronger sense of the story being about real people, and I think that is partly because the world they occupy seems "real-er". Your dialogue, I think, is every bit as good as pretty much any writer I read.

Again, thank you very much for your stories. I like all of them, really; Ingrams and non-Ingrams.

I didn't even finish the first page. Can't imagine going through THIRTEEN pages of this woman whining.

This is why we go through LW every day looking for a nugget, although they have been difficult to find. The reader has struck gold with this tale! Good job.

Thanks for sharing. This is one of the most insightful stories I’ve read on this site. I’m looking forward to re-reading it again :)

An entertaining and sad example of a woman, her marriage and the cost she had to pay for self-discovery. To become a better person she paid with her marriage.

I was so happy there wasn't any undercover agent manipulating the people around her🕵️‍♂️. No guns, no prostitution, no surprise pregnancy.

It's good to see improvement from a talented writer.

The original plot was a big help,too ☺.

Thank you Jezzaz.

AMerryman

"The fact is, January, I am married." BAM BITCH!!!!!

I rarely comment, but I gotta agree with Harddaysknight here. Well done.

Late for work this morning and it’s all your fault.

Note to self......don’t start a good read just before work unless you have sufficient time to finish it.

This is 5* work. Well done. More please.

There a loads of Jan’s out there....I Think the are called “millennia’s “ these days

I read this earlier on another site and gave the highest mark there. Same here of course. You know a story is a winner when so many readers comment on it so early.

An exceptional story by an exceptional author. Thank you, jezzaz.

oshaw

I’m being looked at by my colleagues as to why I’m weepy in the office lunch room. Note to self: Don’t read amazing stories during lunchtime.

5 stars for a fantastic read and an utterly human story. No monsters, no cuckolds, sissy’s, sluts pretending to be married, navy seals or ninja masters.

Just a woman like countless others who’ve walked away from the best thing they ever had only to realise it too late.

Fantastic read! 5*’s

Late for work! That was one of the more intelligent stories I've read in a long time. I like January, and in as much as she's really grown, I think she deserves more to her story. In your clever way, you gave her the full BTB experience - she was used, humiliated, humbled, and rejected. She even found religion (sorta - the 12 steps minus the higher power, of course ). So, like Deanna from Wrigley Field, maybe she's ready for some redemption. Either way, that was a wonderful piece of storytelling and a rare treat in the LW category. Thank you. *****

Its such a good story and I know how long you've been working on it and tinkering with it and I have to tell you that it cam out just perfect.

Nicely Done

Thanks for bringing on this journey. Well Done!

All of the stars!

My first wife was (and still is) narcissistic, so this story resonates; many parallels between this story and what I went through. I was able to get custody of our two daughters and she left us alone as she proceeded through her adventures (which was good). She too went through a lot of men - she is on hubby number five. I think J's portrayal of the wife's thought processes is probably very realistic. For my ex, she was always fixating on something that, if she got it, would make her happy. Of course when she got it, she immediately fixated on something else.

with a story like this one is it is hard on us skimmers. See, we skim and then have to backtrack and catch up and before you know it you have read the damn thing word for word.

The emotional roller coaster through this woman's life, was stunning and vivid. I grew to both love and hate her, that she was so witty with her comments and inner dialog. She was human, and did a lot of soul searching to get where she did by the end. I have always enjoyed your work, and can't wait to see your next tale!

Rnebular

After reading the first page, I was agreeing with the two Anons who couldn't get past it. Yes, she was very entitled and bitchy. I almost didn't read on, especially when I saw it was 13 pages. I've got to say, I'm glad I did. In these stories, you never really get to know in depth the wife who leaves her husband. Well done!

Unfortunately, can't sit & read the whole thing in one sitting, right now.

Reading 1st & last pages alone gives a good look/assessment into the story.

Hopefully I'll have time to come back & read this thoroughly in a few days; wish it was posted closer to weekend.

The emotional regret in the end speaks the loudest; it's really true: you really don't know what you have till it's gone.

5*

Don’t have the words. Once I started, no way I could put it down. Had to finish it. Lots of thought out insight. You can almost feel their ups and downs right along with Jeff and Jan. I know it had to end that way and was expecting that Jeff had moved on. So many ways this story could have ended though. I saw maybe one of her girl friends going for him. You know..one persons trash, another’s treasure. Or even him taking her back. Great job. Jez. Hope to read many more from you just like it or similar. Keep up the good work.

Just an amazing story. Could have done without all the topical political stuff. I mean, it's your story, write dickhead ompaloompa if you want. It just comes across as venting to me. Speaking of politics personally, I am neither Blue or Red. I'm more libertarian, but the divide between the parties is at it's highest ever. It's more emotions than actual policy. People are so cutthroat with people they'd normally give their right arm for, it's all deeply troubling to me. And to be reminded of it, when all I want is a little escapism..... So, the story was great, but you brought me back a few times without actually informing me in a meaningful way. The "meals on wheels" thing for example, the federal funding for it before trump took it away was 4% i believe. it was small, no one starved for it. and people were so angry at trump, they donated well over that 4% by a large magnitude of difference, effectively helping that program. But since you took the bipartisan approach with more feelings than information, all you did was remind me of the ugly. I took nothing but negativity from it. Sorry if I'm harsh, but I really enjoyed the story. I'm not "negging" either. You do you. If you think i'm some privileged twat, that's cool. I'll take it on the nose. I think it's constructive to either inform people if you're going the topical route, or at least avoid it all together if you're not so the escapism I love so much in reading fiction isn't lost.

After what seems like weeks of crap, a classic. I love your take on this. Telling from other point of view worked. Thanks.

I do not read this author. I read one great story, "Words," and looked for more. I did not enjoy what I found. I quit. It was a slow morning, so I thought I'd give it a try. Then I saw, 13 pages? My God, that was daunting. I persevered. I'm glad I did.

I'm not one of the fanboys, or girls, so this isn't the effusive praise of a partisan. This was just high caliber writing. Flawless portrayal of the entitled. It was exactly as long as it needed to be to tell her story. I liked her. She was brutally honest, even about herself, in the end. Perfectly written. Congratulations. You wrote a story that touched me, and one that I read with great pleasure.

It’s good but I think it would be much better if it were written with less continuity. That is, the parts are each fairly well-rendered but they’re stuck together in a direct line that feels contrived, like this then this then this. If you just separated them so the parts sat more by themselves as things that she experienced separately. Then you could have developed the therapy more so she could bring her thoughts together about herself because, in the end, the story is about her growth but you fit it to a standard LW format. I’m not saying separate chapters but separate scenes where you allow the reader to fill in bits, where there’s more surprise in the moments.

But it was much better than the crap that's been on literotica for almost a year. I just about given up. This story was ok. I really didn't understand the13 pages. I would've liked to hear from the husband Jeff. I usually love long stories but I don't think this story needed to be13 pages long. After chapter 1 I knew the wife was just missing the single life and she will be running back to Jeff after learning just how good she had it. She took her husband for granted, she took her kids for granted she took their life for granted. Her complaints sounded childish. Do you how many times I have to tell my hubby to put the toilet seat down? 12 years married 15 years together and he still leaves the toilet seat down. my husband also snores. do you know how many times I have to ask my hubby to take out the trash? I knew all of this going into the marriage. I'm certain I do things to annoy my hubby also. What I disliked about Jan's character was this I'm too good and perfect for you guys attitude. She had all of these asinine complaints that could've easily been fixed had she really wanted to be a wife and mother. She got bored with being married, she got tired of being a mother. She just wanted to be able to spread her legs and fuck & suck to her hearts content without a husband to stand in her way. She comes running back after learning, she's just as annoying as Jeff and the only man that would put up with her keeps trying to pimp her out to their friends. Perfect case of you never know what you have until it's gone or the grass isn't always greener on the other side. 17 years of marriage and she just scream out I want a divorce. That's crazy and cruel.

Right, this is cloacas, giving writing advice to Jezzaz, about a story edited by Blackrandl1958 and Girinthemoon, with positive comments from Harddaysknight, Oshaw and Stev2244. Maybe want to step off a little there.

I think you just pulled a Tina on me. Spending the rest of my day wallowing in self analysis.

yes, absolutely; wow. Angry, acrimonious verbal duel is your forte; it truly is. It is one of those stories where 'too big, but too late' applies, especially January's changes. The thing is you can't go back to fucking school and be a teen all over; some girls are stupid enough to delude themselves into believing they can.

Jezzaz has given me permission to do a promo. If you enjoyed this story by Jezzaz, would you enjoy a Mystery story? He is writing one. How about a mystery story by both Jezzaz and Qhml1? HDK, Stev2244, Girlinthemoon, RichardGerald, DTIverson, Justplainbob, KK, Carvohi, Todd172, Oshaw, Amyyum, MattblackUK and too many others to mention? Sounds like fun? Does to me. March 17 is just around the corner. The Magical Mystery Tour is coming to take you away.

This story is like a good book. Very hard to stop reading. I agree with the comments on length. Some of the extra detail added flavor, but to much spice can be a distraction.

I wonder what you do in your real life. Your skill indicates that you are a successful professional writer.

Wonderful job capturing not only the voice but also the, call it, natural history of January without resorting to caricature, her or others (Well, maybe Jeff. A little).

One thing. A middle school class travels from Washington to Arizona to hunt fossils? Your fictional school district has an astonishing budget ;-)

Thank you and welcome back. Too long gone.

# 1

way too many misadventures for that woman until she finally realizes what she tossed away. That conclusion could have been arrived without that long series of guys.

Once you started with the Trump bashing, I just couldn't. It was a well written very compelling story. Please remember next time that at least half of your audience will be offended by those few lines. Just like the late night hosts who think it is ok to insult half of their old viewership, you will kill your "ratings". We do not appreciate being insulted. Since it was only a couple of biting jabs, I decided to read on and enjoyed the story. Stop living in a bubble and realize not everyone thinks the way you do. At least 150 million Americans like Trump or at least the policies he is trying to implement. That is a lot of potential readers as well. Learn from your own character (Jan) and be a little more self aware. When saying whatever comes into your head consider than it might not be received the way you expect. Having said that, please keep writing. Maybe even a part two since Jan has earned a better ending

a truly great character study of wilfe shallow stupid person

While this author remains an exceptional talent some of the previous works have had some flaws in them. Like in MetaMorph where the husband gets treated better by the wife's lover who helps him re-shape the husband's out of shape body while the wife just shits and shits on him. Her excuse was compartmentalization - yeah that old song. And he takes her back.

In OUT OF LOVE it was the same thing. --fabulous story great character development . The wife decides to try swinging with their "friends" and does nto tell the her hsuabnd. he gets blinded sides then through the story everyone he knows lies and schemes and lies and manipulates him. But in that story there is a glaring flaw. The Husband was to intentionally tired out/ drunk so he couldn't object to his wife fucking one of the other husband's. The other swinging couples when inrto separate rooms but the husband's wife and other man were screwing right in front of him. THAT issue is never dealt with in the story and it ruins the entire conclusion.

This story in my opinion is flawless. The key aspect here is the wife's mentality.

In this story the wife does not engage in this silly psychobabble of compartmentalizatio defense . And she doesn't decide to take over the husband's life becuase she thinks he is an idiot. In this story it is the wife's mindset is

that is the issue and this sort of arrogance is actually fairly common and it often does lead to cheating by the spouse..

The wife begins to use TV sitcoms and other idealized versions of what a real man is like. If your wife is judging you by the TV show SEX IN THE CITY - you are deep shit. Every man is .

The phrase "wrong side of smart" is another way of saying a person with intelligence but without WISDOM. And I think the effort by the author to develop this character in showing somebody who SEEMS to be quite intelligent but only to the point where they can justify ANY argument or position they WANT to take ....is extremely well done.

It is a VERY common form of lower intelligence which a lot of people have especially in western societies. This is probably because science and critical thinking skils are not taught anymore and not valued ( see Nov 2016). Having those skills means you also apply them to EVERYTHING -including your self and realtionship

For example half way into the story the wife calls up her ex-husband -- just to talk about old times She is stunned to learn that jeff actually has company over ... that it is some sort of dinner party. She is stunned. And even worse she is furiously angry. Her anger is directly connected to what she thinks of her shit bag loser dumb fuck husband.

Why would anybody want to be around HIM? Doesnt EVERYBODY know that the sun shines out of my Vagina?

at the end of the story the wife cannot believe that her husband actually remarried!! This wife has not seen her ex-husband in 18 months and has only talked to him a few times by phone calls that lasted under 30 seconds... but she cannot believe that HE that loser could be re-married.

and tw burping the alphabet IS enormously funny.

please ask jimbob44 too. at the moment he seems to give us more quality stories than any other author with lots of flawed characters and great realistic storylines.

yes i am being selfish, he is my all time favourite author on this site.

He's mentioned that fact a few times over the years. He usually takes them in dead, but sometimes alive.

What's this about another invitational? A mystery no less? Jezzaz is writing one? KK is jumping in? GirlintheMoon? She's hot! Amyyum is, well, just yummy! Who wouldn't invite her to almost anything? Qhml1, along with Todd172, Oshaw and DTIverson pretty much own the Loving Wives category and they are all writing for this event?? Holy Hemmingway, Blackrandl1958! This is huge! Steve2244, RGIII, the one and only JPB, Carvohi,(aka Jedd Clampett), MattblackUK, and last and most certainly least, the Big Kahuna of Literotica invitationals, the much maligned and greatly loved BlackRandl1958, (also known as Randi) will all be donating their talent to this endeavor? Is this one of those "invitationals" where writers are actually 'invited' to participate? As I understand it, any responsible person could contact Laurel and gain her cooperation to conduct an invitational.

If anyone is wondering just who gave Randi the right to work so hard and spend so much time bringing pleasure to so many readers, while annoying a couple of assholes, well, that would be Harddaysknight, The Writer, The man, The Legend, the Self Proclaimed God of Literotica! To question Harddaysknight is to blaspheme! Please don't.

"It's like being brought up on CNN and NPR, and suddenly only getting a diet of Fox News. Eventually, some of your hardcore beliefs will be challenged because the steady diet of bullshit you've been fed from the 'fair and balanced' news station gets through to you."

Yeah the first BS you were fed is clearly right because you are a perceptive and wise person who would never have been fooled.

The "left" is the other side of smart. Get lots more sleep now that late night tv is

off the agenda. The awards show Monday had all women presenters. Did not watch that either. Silent Majority.....

5* on the story. Great insights on characters.

One of the best stories that I have read here, maybe anywhere. Thank you so much.

Great story about life on the other side. The characters were well written and although the main character is on the other side of smart, I cannot empathize with her, but can pity. The story was written in a way that I stayed curious about her progression and growth, even if I did not agree with her point of view.

Recommendation: for me I need a clear timeline of events and in the story it wasn't always clear especially after the divorce was final. Add some more context clues to indicate the tentative amount of time between events. At times I was confused on the timeline of events after the divorce. For my example, I still don't know how much time it took from the divorce to the conclusion.

This was a very enjoyable story.

This is such a great story from an unusual angle that I’m almost unable to comment coherently. Talk about emotional. One of the best and deserves to be highly scored. I gave it 5 and would have given more if I could.

I never have the opatience for a 13 page story, but this one seemed to flow. You avoided the cliche of having them get back together again and somehow the whole thing fit to gether well. Jan didn't get what she wanted, but perhaps she got what she needed and that might well make all the difference in the world. Sometimes the world looks a lot different when your eyes are fully open and perhaps the Tonys of the world will see her differently and the next time Mr Right comes along (and there's no doubt in my mind that there are more than one of them for each of us) she'll treat him differently and maybe make a happy landing. We can only hope that we'll all learn from our journey through life and make the other side of today a happier place for each of us. 5*

Nice progression in your characters, all the way to the end. The writing was tight, in spite of the length, and held my interest.

Harddaysknight, you are a riot! The annony who has no sense of humor should go somewhere else.

And what's with you political whiners? This story was narrated by a first person character, for Christ's sake. Those are HER thoughts. You get your panties all in a knot because some fictional character in a story had bad thoughts about your idol? Are you really that stupid?

As for that invitational, if I can expect another story like this from Jezzaz I'll be there. All those other great writers make sure I'll be there. I understand what an invitational means. I've enjoyed the others like nothing else that has ever happened on this site. Do your thing, young lady, you bring a lot of joy to this old geezer.

I think the MAIN thing most people miss when they focus on politics that show up in stories here, is that the intent is the CHARACTER is thinking/saying these things, not the author. If a story was written with me as a character in it, there might be a politically motivated thought or two described, that a lot of readers wouldn't like. That doesn't make it a bad story, or a bad author. If the entire thing becomes one big political (or religious, if we wanna tack that on) piece, it may just need to be in a different category...

Looking forward to the invitational, can't wait! Oh, and HDK is always wrong...

;)

Great story and I enjoyed it. I enjoy all your stories and know it takes effort on your part so thank you for your efforts. Yours is one of the names I look for when reviewing new LW stories.

Not sure if this was a great story in terms of dramatic tension and plot arc, but in terms of the psychological complexity, nuanced characterization, and the pace of the reveal, this was, IMHO, completely unparalleled. Nonpareil, to borrow the candy appellation.

I feel like this should almost be part of a larger tome the size of a Michener or Robbins novel, like one of the novellas Robbins would fold into his epics. Your accomplishment was perhaps the more remarkable for keeping us enrapt in your narrative of the glacial evolution of a truly unlikable character. And kudos for maintaining the pace all the way to the end.

I like how the story ended not with triumph or tragedy, but with life, like when the screen goes dark in the theater and you walk out into the bright sunlight to continue your life.

Five stars, of course.

I actually worked with someone like Jan.

She left her husband i a way that was similar to how Jan left Jeff.

And she led a fantastic, booze-filled party lifestyle, flitting from one man to another.

Until it all went wrong and the last I heard of her, she was jobless, penniless and homeless.

So she did even worse than Jan.

Jezazz is Spartacus!

But did you have to “gaslight” those of your readers like me who don’t agree with your politics?

Didnt really get going until the sister Tina showed up, but wow it just rocked after that. Excellent insights into a very selfish woman, and wonderful denouement. I had to wade thru 7 pages of the seemingly neverending examples of her deluded mindset, but the final 5 pages made it worth it. thx for your efforts.

The fact that Scorpio JJ is a s self proclaimed trump conservatices ( in other words an idiot) and does NOT get point behind the news analogy in the story and is offended or upset because it offends Scoripo JJ's political perspective... speaks VOLUMES about how dumbs MOST trump supporters TRULY are.

and for the record I voted for RR in the 80s and Bush 41 and I worked for perot in 1992 and 1996. I have never ever voted ANY Clinton.

"It's like being brought up on CNN and NPR"

"Add to that your intellectual superiority complex, and your innate snobbery, and you've got a (something something) wrecking combination."

"If you were in an argument, you were, are, smart enough to come up with all the reasons why you were in the right, and the other person in the wrong. You were just that level of smart that enables you to justify any behavior you had as being someone else's fault. "

Yes, that smug, insular point of view while being taught rationalizations in college can be stultifying to true open mindedness.

The Wrong Side of Smart indeed.

I made the mistake of starting to read it before my work out.

I sat around an hour reading...read on the treadmill...and sat around reading another hour after to finish it up.

Compelling, well characterized, professional. Some small editing and word usage errors. 'Plait' rings a bell, I believe. Other little annoyances.

On the hole (sic) I enjoyed the whole thing...except the politics. Just...don't.

5 stars. It was a pleasure reading this. It was very good, and I also thought the last line was hilarious. Looking forward to your mystery story SO much.

plat (plural plats)

Noun

A braid; a plait (of hair).

Material produced by braiding or interweaving, especially a material of interwoven straw from which straw hats are made

Verb

To braid, to plait.

It was very good and very different. She was brilliantly dumb, and too stubborn for

her own good.

We finally have author who gives us the complete story. So many stories on this site fall short, and stop before giving us the wife's perspective. Reading this story was a welcome and refreshing change. BRAVO! Thanks for a great read. 5 stars.

in yorkshire we have a name for people like jan, THICK CUNT!

There was a lot of introspective thinking in this sad little tale. But I' not sure she made a mistake for her. Yes, she probably had the wrong reasons, but who she really is isn't someone suited for Jeff. I did have some issues with this story. Having been in this position, the things with the kids felt wrong. Kids get angry too and they probably should have put them into counseling. But I don't think for a minute they didn't talk to one parent about what the other parent was doing. Kids aren't that tight lipped and often use the success of one parent against the other. And at this point, she's made some bad choices. But I think she finds the right guy sooner rather than later. I'm not sure you needed 12 pages for her to wallow thru to this obvious ending, but the fact is you can write a decent story. I'd rather you drop the Ingrams garbage in the future. CHEERS!

I apologize for the length, but it WAS a long story!

They have kids, and she's complaining that they can't have weed parties or get "blasted to the gills"?

She ranks NASCAR mechanic higher than being an adviser to a TV show about brilliant children?

He probably doesn't do any washing because she bitches about how he does it, just like she bitches about how he loads the dishwasher!

He doesn't have "respect" for her earning twice what he does? If he earned twice what she does, what would she say if he expected "respect" for that?

LOL, she compares the ability to explain "Dallas" sub-plots to intelligence?

She wants the sister that she can't stand to be around to invite her to visit?

"It's just not what I signed up for." – It's EXACTLY what you "signed up for"!

"I'd like for you to be done by the time they get home from school." – That seems a little harsh! It's not like she's to be cut off from the kids!

"It would have been nice to have the premise I'd posited actually confirmed though, that we were both better off apart" – Who is she kidding? For all of her happy talk, she's hoping that Jeff is miserable without her!

Granted, he doesn't ask, but since SHE'S the one that wanted out, if he wants info on HER, he's entitled!

"particularly with the way Maisy was acting recently." – How has she been acting recently?

I don't think ONE bad incident, that didn't DIRECTLY involve Jan, and that she has taken steps to eliminate, is going to lose her unsupervised visitation! I was right, I don't know why she was surprised.

Because he didn't "know" that it was mostly "his fault," that DOES give him reason to be all pissy!

She's thinking about all the things that Jeff did to annoy her, but while Jeff was happy, I'll bet if you asked him, he could come up with things that SHE did that annoyed him.

LOL, just because SHE didn't want him, she thinks that no one else will?

Why all the pissing and moaning about leaving the seat up? What do women think that men do when they need to sit, and the seat is up? They put it down! It's NOT that difficult!

"No doubt" he knew his whistling was irritating, even though she never told him, or showed him by leaving the room?

"a little deference wouldn't go amiss, you know?" – LOL, just like she expected her husband to "respect" that she made twice as much as him!

Two and a half thoughts! If she loved him, she should have worked with him on the things that REALLY bothered her, and learned to live with the rest. Even though he was happy, I'm sure he could find some things about HER to complain about!

I'm confused about his dining technique. First, she WASN'T eating off her knife. Second, I'm familiar with the "no switching" hands technique, I saw it in a movie when I was younger and adopted it, but the fork was still used right side up!

Minor point: Do "Meals on Wheels" have keys to clients' apartments? In any case, she wouldn't have any other task than to call 911!

It's interesting that with Jeff, it was a "death by a thousand cuts," but with Tony, they were all "trivial things"!

It sounds like Tony is another version of Jeff! Comfortable, with lots of little faults, that in Tony's case, she's willing to overlook!

"I've always believed that you have to live for yourself; no one else is tasked with making you happy," – Now, THAT'S a newsflash! She seemed to think that Jeff and Tony had that task!

"I was screaming inside." – Key point there; she was screaming INSIDE! How is Jeff supposed to fix anything when she never says anything to him? Like that BS about him "whistling while he cooked for her"! Besides being incredibly petty, she never told him or showed him that it bothered her!

"Hell, now that I did know, that little tidbit was being filed away to be brought out at just the right moment!" – She STILL doesn't get it!

"Jeff still wasn't perfect" – Neither are you!

"Somewhere you have to be?" – Um, he already told her that when they made the date.

Regarding the comments on the politics – While the views MAY represent the author's, they happen to be the character's, and what's wrong with a character having a political belief?

Last night I read "Good Enough?" by cpete. It's about two years old.

I swear January has another sister named Barb!!

Great story, both of them.

*****

I started reading anyway before I realized how long it was because 1) I am Jeff - farting, snoring, ear wax digging, coffee hating, fast driving asshole and I figured I'd better keep reading to figure out how to save my marriage, and 2) it is set in the Seattle suburbs and I happen to live in Bellevue (yes a Seattlite that hates coffee).

Fortunately these things pulled me in and I read a great story. My take away tho is that you don't have to top the Menza scale to have Jan' s faults. There is some Jan in all of us. I know I get stuck on a point of view that I decide is right at times and find justifications to defend it at all costs and I'll bet everyone reading this has done the same at some point in their lives. You don't have to go any further than Facebook to see geniuses and idiots taking stances. ignoring each other's points, etc.

Any story that forces a little self-reflection gets 5 * in my book. Thank you.

Well, a two minute definition search shows it up as a variant of 'plait'. Learn something new every day. Not being pedantic, I thought it was an error. I probably wouldn't have used that variant though.

If the race was to the swift and the battle to the strong you would obviously be seriously famous. Maybe you are. You can check out my "bible" story in Literotica under the name Jaxxon if you're interested.

I really, really enjoyed this. Gave me a lot to think about. Well done. I did not care for the cheap political comments and felt they weakened the story. But, hey it is your tale.

First 5 I have ever given. I did figure it out about page 7 but it was still excellent!

Long for sure, but ultimately very satisfying. Jan found out the grass truly wasn't greener and paid for her pettiness and stupidly. Jeff fought through and ended up with hopefully a happy life. Like Jan, I thought he would welcome her back into his life. I was as surprised as she was. This should ultimately make the Hall of Fame.

I didn't really enjoy reading about such a narcissistic asshole in depth but I cannot fault this well written story.

Very well done.

cautionary story for any couple. Well done.

Extremely well written. Not what I expected, at any point of the story. The intro notes are accurate: it’s a very different presentation of a common theme. And then at the end, she didn’t really get what she wanted OR needed- she got what she deserved.

The ending while unexpected was disappointing.

what kind of person? wouldn't imediately leave nay run call the cops, try to get him on some kind of register or at least a watch list, be totally disgusted or be apoplectic with rage when lincoln did this. "like we were at a coffee shop once, and there were three schoolgirls sitting at a table, and when they left, he got up, dropped down to pretend to do up his shoe laces, and took a deep breath, sniffing where they'd been sitting."

"cuck in a closet"

Schwanze1 says anon critics are pussies.

Schwanze1 also says cabbage has a point.

How about a sequel?

By the way, did big sis not alert her she better jump on it if she wanted to try to get him back before Amber lassoed him? WTF? Not that I think he should have taken her back but did her sister screw her over on that one?

Maybe a bit too long, especially in the introspections part, a good editor would have told you that. The ending wasn't a surprise at all and was a bit too short.

Otherwise a fine well written story.

PS: Schwanze1. Not every anon commenter is a pussy. I don't think you're being fair when you put every anon in the same bag,

Good character development along with excellent humor.

Thanks

This was absolutely one of the best stories I've read. Great flow, smart, thought provoking and great insight to psychological behaviors. 5 stars...

If someone actually read this and didn't find themselves in some parts of this narrative, then they need to have a big sister or brother to set them straight!

AWSOME work,

Thanks

This is the best story I've had the pleasure of reading on this site.

It's smart and intelligent, and yeah, it hits close enough to home to feel real.

Well done!

It's well enough written, though of course I have some criticism. Take it how you will.

The biggest criticism is that the language and mannerisms exhibited by the characters are primarily British, for characters that are not and shouldn't be. The story is told in the first person, but the phrasing is distinctly British, and that ruins the story by constantly suspending disbelief. It's pervasive enough that I'm surprised the people you mentioned as beta-reading it for you didn't mention it, and if they did, you should have corrected it, or corrected the characters to fit it. Maybe make Jan and Tina British nationals or something.

There's your typically heavy dose of west-coast ignorant liberalism that has to be inserted into whatever they're writing at the time. The unnecessary faux-outrage at Jan's friend over her 'black mannerisms', the unnecessary mention of 'Electing Trump' as if that'd be some big issue to most people, or the descriptions of 'negging', 'gaslighting', and 'ghosting'. The missed opportunity to point out that Jan does the 'negging' and 'gaslighting' in her relationship with her husband, and never seems to catch that 'telling him to go change something because he loves her and he'll do it' is the other perspective on the same behavior. Probably because as the author, you didn't see it either. Having read it in it's entirety I can't see you recognizing this in the story, particularly because her explicitly doing it doesn't come up until the end and is never really analyzed.

There's also the typical plot points; he's remarried but she doesn't know it, he was putting up with her shit the whole time, when she thought she was putting up with his, etc. I don't get how it's supposed to be her problem for not knowing about his life when he put up all the roadblocks to her knowing. That made sense, but it doesn't make sense for him to blame her for not knowing, and he clearly does. The kids come off as entirely too accepting of the divorce, which has not been my experience of children involved in a divorce, even when the children think it's for the best too. The son's lack of interest in playing games, but interest in making them, is nonsensical. I won't bother explaining why, but anyone who's talked to actual game developers will know. Perhaps that's an unfair criticism, but when you know something, seeing someone do such a poor characterization of that field, even if it's minor to the story, can be off-putting.

Ultimately, there's too much unnecessary politics pushing, too many things suspending disbelief enough to allow the story to flow, and probably the right amount of cliche but far too much length to be justified by this story. This should have been about 5 pages long, the phrasing needs to be 'Americanized' or the characters need to be 'British', and the flavor of the day politics needs to be dropped.

Really enjoyed this one, very believable and well written, thank you for sharing your talent.

One of the best stories I've read on this site in a long time. Such a interesting take on the typically "husband gets blindsided into divorce and rebuilds himself" story that we usually get.

Oh and in case you didn't know, you can talk about sex, drugs, rape and nearly anything else on this site, but once you mention politics feelings get hurt (sarcasm). Some people are just looking for reasons to get upset, don't mind the haters. Please write more, and write more frequently!! I was never a fan of Ingram but I do want to know how Ryan turns out!!

No, Blackrandi is not an 80-year old white guy. I don't know much, but I know that.

Thank you for sharing.

it was inevitable the closet cases would get their panties in a bunch - clever how the story confuses those wankers, they like that the husband remarried but hate that the author had his character point out the imbecility of fox news.

Brilliant!

She may have been that self-centered their whole marriage/relationship, but she never said she wanted a divorce before!

Came here looking for a steamy read and stayed for the story instead. Very well done, I found it very cathartic and like how it wasn't the usual spiteful drivel.

Fantastic work!

I look forward to stories by Jezzaz. This was up to his usual standard of writing. But I felt it had some major flaws:

First, it seems that Melissa had the life style that January craved. If Melissa could find it, why not January?

If January wanted the free as a bird life style, why was she always in such a hurry to get married again?

I understand what Jezzaz was trying to do, but I think a plot line may have been to put her in precisely the sort of life style she thought she wanted, then let the realization dawn on how vacuous that really is.