All Comments on 'The Blanket Policy'

There was little real emotion from the main character, he just sort of floated along. You checked off all the main story points for a stereotypical cheating tale, but the revelations had little impact. Adding on her earlier cheating did nothing for the story line either and I'm not really sure why you added it or the pregnancy. Since I wasn't invested in the main character, it didn't mean anything.

The husband was nothing but a pussy and a bitch.

Could you have made that any more boring if you tried? I skipped through it, first page alone, the majority of that should have been deleted.

have rules and regs in effect to counter-mand the guilty. TK U MLJ LV NV

wimpy cuck shit.

Good story, but way too much side info that wasn't essential to the story. Also, like so many of these stories, we never hear the perspective of the cheating whore wife. You have lots of potential for a part 2 here. After 20 years of marriage, there has to be some back story as to why she cheated. Suggest you work on that story and leave out all of the non essential info.

but you can't satisfy everyone. I liked your explanation of the characters in the story.. Some readers like a total make up of characters and other do not.. Cannot please all of the reader...A many marriages have some event or events contained within all the years as a couple. This is a great example of the challenges. 5

He could have saved himself anguish and confronted her early. Seems she may have been blackmailed to go to Lansing the last time.

If he loved her, he should have fought for her. We all have weak moments and need help. He almost pushed her by not doing a damn thing.

Seems highly unrealistic that after a 20+ year marriage that you could just chalk it up to an “oh well, guess I’ll move on”. If that was the case, I garantee that he never really loved her anyway. Some of you guys try to write these stories with these macho fucking attitudes that in reallity are not realistic. I garantee that if you really gave your heart to someone, the love wouldn’t just fade away in an afternoon. If that were the case, then you never really loved her.

With the way the NCAA and NFL scrutinize the character of players, Toney and his band of gangbang fuckers could have easily been demoralized and ceeers ruined from their bribery induced gangbang.

Look at Javmore writings and George Anderson's version of "Another Love Lost" to get a feel for what reality is and what a person would really feel in these situations.

but really your comment on anonymous is a bit much unless your real name is sggylvr so wake up who would want anyone to know their information unless your a retard.

I read these stories to see how conflicts are resolved. This story featured the male's mindset and how he resolved his wife's (from his point of view) disloyal & disgraceful behavior to their relationship. He responded in a particular manner, one he could live with. That is the author's creation and invention. So be it. The problem with the storytelling is this: it is presented like an elaborate Ikea instruction manual. Step 1...step 2...etc. I gave it ok marks but with a more inventive presentation, it would deserve higher.

My biggest beef with so many of these stories is the delay in acting when there is so much obvious.

1) Blanket with cum stains that wife lies about.

2) Marcus brother Tony has a grudge against him.

3) Marcus and wife MUCH too familiar at picnic.

4) Marcus and wife have MANY opportunities to screw around.

I can't speak for other men, but I would immediately confront my wife. Shove the cum stains under her nose. "Milk shake? These are cum stains! Want to tell me how many times you've fucked Marcus?" She might deny it, but I'm sure her face would tell the tale!

LOL, maybe she's doing Tony, too? Guess so!

"a couple of inspiring film students" - You mean "aspiring film students"!

Um, she's doing this so her husband isn't told about Marcus, but doesn't seem to care about it being filmed?

She's sleeping in the guest room because she doesn't want him to see the hickeys, and she's upset about the gang bang, but only because it fucked up her affair with Marcus?

This is the husband's POV, so you're not going to get her story unless he asks her to tell him, and he doesn't give a fuck!

Cindy cheated on her husband and is thorn in his side on page 1

Cindy was cheated on and they have always got along on page 4

Poorly written,poorly edited and a waste of time

Stupid and nonsense

Where Tony and Marcus are handicapped and all other participants are beaten.

In your forward you insult the reader and except a fair evaluation. Stupid remark. One Star.

but it was like reading an instruction manual

Would have been interesting to have the video end up at the NCAA office showing sex and, more importantly, cocaine around players and coach.

Why not get revenge on Tony and the coach? Would have made me feel a little better if I were him. Why should they get away with it? Tony still hasn't learned a thing because he is always protected from consequences.

Why did he just run away, no confrontation, no revenge, no explanation, poor ending.

used the video to ruin Tony and the coach in his football live....

The public outrage of the blackmail plus the video would of damaged all those involved in the gangbang. The FBI could of been called to look into the blackmail. The school should of been sued for millions plus all the people involved in a blackmail gangbang. I can hear all the attorneys salivating at a chance to get on in this one. This a career killer for sexual harassment if I ever heard one

IMHO, she got away light. I can’t believe the husband let the nogs get away with it. And his ex was nothing but a skank mud shark. Good riddance to bad rubbish.

So no one went after the college athletic dept. u could have reap millions on that one. Coaches and team suspend what a national scandal. At least you moved on. In this story. As written.

Great story ! I am a female, I grew up in Rockford, IL. I remember that winter of 78.

Lots, well tons of snow, and very cold. I also went to NIU. I have also been in Madison on many occasions, a great party town. I'm pretty close to Jan in size, a little smaller in the breast and butt department. I'd like to thank you for a great story and for reminding me to wash that damn blanket!

If some kid did that to me, not thinking about the wife, I would destroy him. I saw the suggestion about turning him into NCAA. Problem is it is public and this kid who clearly has no conscience. He would one up him in the revenge department. A significant guy with "the orange box store" in Atlanta could an appointment with the NFL franchise there. Tell his story and show the video. Word would quietly spread and no team would touch him, no matter how talented. Could also arrange to quietly spread word to ensure coach's job opportunities dried up. A story could be developed to explain how full video came to (assuming kid edited version sent to internet)

That does not deal with young Marcus. Whether wife willing or not, he knew she was married and to whom. As a 17 Year old, I had neighbor lady come onto me and offer several times to teach me "how to please the girls." I could not do that to a guy that used to take me fishing and play golf. She was 15 years older and smoking hot. He found out about her playing years later. That she'd been with a lot of friends and his students. It crushed him! He asked me when he saw me years after divorce if I knew anything. I told him truth and apologized for not telling him, but that I did not realize she was with others. I was a naive 17 year old and thought she was offering to be nice to me to teach me as a friend. Stupid, but I was a kid. Instead of mad, he thanked me for being one of his few true friends.

Back to story, Marcus should escape retribution either. Not sure how get him other than ruin his job prospects. Not many guys would "just walk away." Not sure how you look in mirror afterward.

Too much about how the blankets ended up in various vehicles.

Did not need the milk shake comment from the wife. It would have been better to develop the husband's angst at the discovery of the cum stains.

Why is there so much about the shooting of Carl? All you would need is one or two lines about the loss of the father.

The overheard snippets concerning the bachelorette party is underdeveloped. What husband wouldn't want to know more especially as he and his future wife fucked like mink within 24 hours of meeting each other and married six months later. Whether he is curious or suspicious this part could have been worked further to show an attitude of concern about his wife's sex life.

Also, she runs braless for 40 yards, flopping all over the place with many men videotaping the action and he says nothing? Then she dashes off to who knows where and he simply rests somewhere to contemplate events?

If the author can find an editor it would make the stories more readable. I liked the 'pecker tracks' start to the story because it was a bit different.

The NCAA in all likelihood would just bury the incident. Better bet would be to send it to CNN, FOX, AP, Reuters, and the alphabet news channels along with a named who’s who list of the participants. Can we say MAXIMUM exposure.

In the same way that some talkers go on and on and on because they love the sound of their own voice, writers fll prey to the same disease, going on and on and on by writing excrucitingly unnecessary detail. This story suffers from that malady.

The husband found something that made his suspicious. He then discovered that she was cheating. He then dumped her. That was the story, except you described things that didn't matter and about which no one cared. How people meet and fall in love seldom has anything to do with the story. We don't really see how her betrayal bothers him or how the divorce bothers her. Then to cap it off, you show how she was a slut just before he married her just to reinforce the correctness of his decision. You need more angst, more plot, less back story, fewer wasted words, and a reaction from the wife that makes the reader feel like she is suffering. Many readers here need to see the cheating wife suffer. That is a fact.

Not erotic, doesn't teach a lessson, not good character development...not sure what the point of the story is. Maybe it is: don't bother reading anything by this author again. I can do that!

You painted a picture of an ordinary family ripped to bits by the infidelity of the wife.

Its difficult to make a story gripping when it is strictly narrative, so some of the criticism you received is understandable. The cumulative effect of the mounting evidence, culminating with the video from Tony, had a strong impact for me. It had a relentless, though depressing quality. I gave it 4****

Not every guy with a cheating wife is going to wreak vengeance on his wife and her lover. That's a fantasy for most intelligent people and violent vengeance is a sure way to spend time in jail. Most of the people in jail are stupid with no impulse control and the husband in this story wasn't stupid.

Ten or fifteen years down the road, however, if Tony or Marcus was found shot to death, you might get away with it. Not recommending it, you understand . . .

People react differently to loss.

There is no right way or wrong way

for a husband to deal with a betrayal.

It's just his way.

What IS missing here is an insight

into the marriage.

We have no idea of the strength of it.

We have hints and nothing more.

That is a bad thing.

It must be unusual to fall out of love

at the drop of a hat.

But accepting that, there probably

wouldn't be any need for revenge

or confrontation.

Just walk away.

That makes the husband realistic.

The wife drinks too much, without

thinking.

Not a stretch that she cheats

without thinking too.

To some that might be unrealistic,

but I don't see it that way.

We just don't know them well enough

too judge their character.

I like this story.

It's not a fun read. It's a sad read.

But it's an interesting read.

I give it 4 out of 5.

Thanks writer for the story.

Did you get paid by the word? Way too many extraneous irrelevant rabbit trails and side stories and pointless details.

As to the basis of the plot, he got what he married. Jan was a stupid whore drunk, with a stupid clueless husband. What else would you expect to happen to this relationship? Obviously her bridal party knew she was a promiscuous slut, especially when drunk, so why didn't the man who had been courting and dating her know this, or at least suspect it? And he is wishing Jan luck in the future? He better be wishing himself luck, if his perception and instincts about women are this stupid and dull.

Selfish stupid whores like Jan give off a vibe and an attitude that shouts their promiscuous lack of self respect. Cuckhubby missed it because he wasn't looking, or didn't want to see it. So it eventually bit him in the ass; serves him right.

I suspect that neither him nor Jan will ever live decent contented lives. Although such an extreme level of rehabilitation and reformation would make for a much more interesting story than this wordy emotionless narration.

Thanks fort the effort, but this really needs work.

A husband who starts his exit plans before he has any more than doubts. Who asserts if it happened before the marriage no foul occurred, but for some reason the closing scene is a pre-marriage party. When he does discover her affair he does nothing to confront her or Marcus. If he had, Tony would have had no leverage. It might not have helped the marriage but it could have prevented the assault, she didn't deserve the gang rape and pregnancy. Instead he ran away.

The final failure was doing nothing to or about Tony. Even with the video, the admission, the bragging, the truly evil rapist/bully and his unwholesome crew we're left to slink away to do it again, and again, and again. "Me staying quiet hurt him more than anything I could do" ??? Really??? Everyone pays a price except them.

If you're married, we know you met, dated and got married. We don't need to read about it! The only time we need it is when her actions while dating foreshadow her later actions, like maybe she blows him off for an old boyfriend or something. We also don't need the "history of the blankets." A simple, "I was shaking the dust of the blanket we keep in the car for emergencies," does the trick,

Where’s the emotion? This appears written like a briefing on what happened with way too much fluff and filler (thankfully the history of blanket making was omitted). In a way, I can’t blame the wife for cheating when you look at what she’s married to.

What an unemotional spineless wimp. If it is true that opposites attract this should be the perfect marriage with the spineless wimp and the alcoholic slut.

It’s amazing that when given the video with all of the evidence of wrongdoing that could inflect retribution on the transgressors, he throws a pity party, tucks his tail between his legs and slinks away.

....Both deserve a bit of retribution, dontcha think? A well-placed strike to a knee with a bat in a dark alley mugging, perhaps? A hard enough strike to watch one NFL career swirl down the crapper, and leave both scumbags with a permanent limp?

In spite of the temptation, don't whack them in the nuts 'cause that might suggest a motive other than robbery.... ;-)

One little issue with the Cindy character: in the beginning, she's the cheater (and probably encouraging Jan), but later on her hubby was the cheater and she's the 'good girl' exposing the truth about the gangbang 20 years ago....

Yeah all stories have problems. I think a coach and players blackmailing a woman might well cause the participants problems especially with a confession of blackmail.

Hubby had little or no emotion, and some conversation with the wife about her behavior would have made for a better story.

The writing and dialogue were proof of your talent, plot details need help.

Chilley

This is broken garbage. Not to mention husband floating over his sons grief. What a dick. There is revenge and over the top revenge.

This night was no different; I drove home from the restaurant after my two drinks. We went in the house and I opened a bottle of water while she fixed herself another Margarita. The old country song "Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off" rang true for Jan again as in about a half hour she was nude on the couch trying to distract me from the TV. It worked of course. We got after it there on the couch. I was long stroking her; she was bucking underneath, working hard for her orgasm when it came she clawed my back. That sent me into a spasm that was one of the best in a while for me.

I read your story a second time because a few things didn't sit well with your ending. You went back to visit it ten months later, divorce finalized, youv'e been told about her pregnancy and birth of a child. How can you be sure it wasn't yours? There was never a mention of a vasectomy other wise she wouldn't need to take the pill.

sggylvr, you need to clarify your self on this and why Steven didn't go after his (I assume, bad word) ex-friends.

Husband is being brave and handling an untenable situation better than can reasonably be expected. Regardless of his intent going forward, he will never be the happy go lucky character. Hopefully the son will not grow a hard edge towards relationships. The wife unfortunately will never turn it around. Great storyline and very tight prestation. Bravo xoxoxoxoxoxo Annette

there should have been retribution to Marcus and Tony. How his ignoring the gangbang is hurting Tony?? Come on, from Tony's point of view the divorce is probably the result of that video. He couldn't know that the steps for divorce were already taken. So, yes there should have been more. Ruining their careers will be one without risking being send to jail for assault.

Gave you 3*s, for encouragement.

Not much emotional connection with the character. The best scene was his youthful time at the cabin. I felt him as a person. Unlike the 'stepford' like unemotional robot behavior the rest of the story.

Didn't care about anyone in this story.

The sack race was funny. He was really a clueless fool, lol.

Thanks for the effort.

AMerryman

Read more

Use an outline

Pacing was poor

More character development

More emotion

This felt more like a report than like a story.

That was a really sad story....the cheated on husband ends things, but you never say if his life becomes happy.

He left her so good there but Marcus video gets sent to ncaa and tmz and the blackmail gangbang sent to cops ncaa nfl and tmz. Plus anyone they know to see her cheat. Maybe those players maybe future nfl and the coach could have there careers destroyed.

This has some potential but some suggestions have already been given. Take a good creative writing course. Read a few good stories and digest how all are written. This one needs better development then a bit more detailed descriptions of development. In the end, for a good story in LW, Marcus and Tony need their "just rewards". I could think of a number of them but it is your story.

Ask for a editor.

Tiny Tim

Man-o-man, did you have to hit every single cliche in the genre?

Reads like a travelogue. No actual conversation. No redeeming value for her, what about The kids?

Then what happened!?.....not. this was fucking boring. Not even sure what the point of it was. I've read instruction manuals that were more entertaining than this drivel.

This read more like a police report than anything else. Recounting conversations using the actual dialogue, using some words that indicated some level of emotion, some actions that weren't that of an automaton, some actual reaction from the hubby, etc. all would help this. In its present form it's not very good at all.

Rather dry. As others have said, some interaction and dialog would have made it more engaging.

A couple of things bothered me. He could have really gotten Tony by just passing the email and video too Jan. Blackmail and drugs would have lost him his scholarship. And having the coaches involved would have cost the school dearly. I thought that was what he planned when he said it might be his revenge as well.

Also, Cindy went from being the cheater to being cheated on between the first and fourth page. And she must really not like him or she would not have sent those pictures.

But it was a pretty good read despite these. Thanks

That's about it!

I agree with most commenters about the lack of emotion and the boiler-plate like plot.

2 things caught my attention. One was that the husband found the lingerie and collar several weeks before the football game. That means Tony had already caught the wife and Marcus having sex and blackmailed the wife into coming to Lansing for sex. Yet the wife and Marcus continued getting together for sex during work hours. Having been caught, you would think that they would cool it, at least for a while.

Two. The video from the gangbang that showed up online would show not only the wife's face but also the faces of all the men having sex with her. Tony would be outing himself as well as the other men on the sex tape was well as the wife.

I also think that having the wife do cocaine at the gangbang and then getting pregnant were over the top.

About a billion times better than most of the crap that has been posted here recently. At least he was not a wimp. Thanks for posting, please post again soon.

A good story that was well told. You can’t beat that!

Enjoyed your story very much. I love to see understandably and dealt with permanently. Apparently, this wife was a slur from the beginning.

He got what he deserved. Stupid husbands should be fucked over.

Email he received he could have taken the guys down

It's rape to take it when she is drunk etc cocaine illegal

...going for this story. The wife, a slut. The husband, a coward. The twins, unremarkable as men. One flickering*

Was divorce her and leave. Revenge leads to jail or bad whatever. Just move on.

You gave Tony, Marcus, coach a free pass? Not much satisfaction here.

The wife is cheating and a big slut when drinking...so what's new here...she's cheating and this story is mostly about him...I want to know what she felt when she got the devorce papers...that should have been one of the best parts of this story...but the author...couldn't be bothered to let us know.....what a big let down....what did she feel when it all came down on her...we'll never know...........

Pathetic! Sure Jan was a slut and had to go, but Tony was the enemy and you really pussied out by letting him intentionally destroy you and your marriage. You had the evidence in your hand that he had sent to you showing him and several others associated with the team and the school, drugging and raping Jan. You should have used that to destroy their careers as well as any relationships that they might have been in.

Get a life man. You have way, way too much time on your hands. This is a PG rated story for the Lifeline channel -- not a sex site. So damn boring.

Weak characters all around. This about sums it up:

"She asks how I found out, that takes a lot of nerve, but I decide to tell her so maybe she can learn to be a better cheater if she marries again."

That got dark fast! That's poor judgement bordering on mental illness.

Like they say, what goes around comes around and in this case it came around big time. I guess by that what went down at her bachelorette party she was always a whoring slut. She knew what happened when she drank and yet she continue to do so. She was her own worst enemy and the trip to Lansing was total stupidity. The pregnancy from the trip to Lansing was just a penance that she would have to pay. Kicking her to the curb and moving to Atlanta was the smartest move he ever made. Like he said, it is too bad he didn't find out about Jan before the wedding as it would have prevented him from all of the heartache. I still have a hard time believing that he would have to pay her anything as she had a good job paying 79K a year.

Well done.

[Spoilers toward the end of this comment.] Author has good command of the English language as well as a refreshing knowledge of uncommon colloquialisms. Would benefit from minor editing; minor spelling and grammatical errors and at least one missing apostrophe on a possessive. "Crime Stoppers", for example, is two words, and I found its concatenation a little distracting. Titling of each section is not necessary; "Wednesday Revelation" was a bit of a spoiler which I didn't appreciate. The story suffers the same problem from which many of my own stories suffer -- too much extraneous colour. The story is slow to start due to superfluous colour which is not referenced later in the story. The emotions of the first-person protagonist are expressed well. [***HERE BE SPOILERS***] I was very, very disappointed pat-way down page 3 when the story totally devolved into your typical r/Relationships fantasy nuclear revenge story with the tired old "offered a job in a far-away city" and "ace divorce lawyer" devices, replete with rainy, dismal days, a reference to an STD check, and the obligatory birth control-defying unwanted pregnancy of the "STBXW", as they say in Reddit lingo. Although changing beneficiaries was a cute touch, it was all very, very poorly done. The writing skill of the author deserves better than the two stars I gave this story. I found it intellectually interesting that the author uses some apparently British slang for this story which ostensibly takes place in the U.S. I'm sorry, but this story, overall, is not particularly erotic.

Too long, too much build up and history, not enough aftermath

3 stars - just a standard BTB story and about 2 pages too long. You forgot to add the 'CUCKOLD' story tag.

Cheating whore who is a long time multiple betrayer who made her dumb husband a multiple cuck. Poor plot, poor story.

A worthless cum dumpster, he wasted years of his life with the lowest low life ever.

Where is the retribution for the assholes who fucked (raped) his wife. Even as she cheated before this was rape.

As a writer u suck…u seem so much a sucker for self flagellation!! Four pages of a wimp clerk clerking his cock watching wifey get fucked by boys who promised him revenge…

And what does he do? Yuck his cock between his legs and runs away! No revenge on Tony or Marcus!! Shows what’s wrong with the writer and his MCs!! Born without the required amount of male hormones!!

Terrible.

Five years ago sggylvr wrote a clever little story! His final story was 54 years ago. In the story a wise business man unwittingly marries a slut. When he discovers her treachery, he leaves his nearly $200,000 a year job for a more prestigious and higher paying job, and builds on his successful life. He figures the ex and her playmates (at least one with a criminal's mindset) are best simply forgotten.

I found it well written and quite entertaining with a strong moral: don't waste one's time thinking about or wasting time o low class losers.

Somehow, some readers think this wise character was a wimp and he should seek vengeance.

Think people about the blowback, and possible reverse revenge from someone like Tony, a young man whom he tried to help when he father died and paid him back by by going after his wife.

I will take the smart way every time.

THC