All Comments on 'Princess Ch. 06'

this was written good, however as the old saying goes be careful what you wish for, you just may get it

I'm glad you decided to pick up this story. it needs to continue ;0)

Thank you for the feedback. There will be another chapter very soon so stay tuned.

Loved that you picked back up the story, i read all the chapters then immediately read this one. There are some key differences so i just want to let you know so you can improve.

1) There are a few typo's in between not a lot just a couple, no big deal but just something to look at. Trust me i know how hard editing these things can be.

2) You had good ideas for how the story should go but you rushed it a bit. In the previous 5 chapter she never serviced a woman orally or licked a woman's ass. So these things should have been a huge deal to her.I don't think the impact of it on her was big enough.

3) You didn't describe the acts in enough detail, for example, how did their pussies smell, or taste, was the taste of their young pussies different to her own? What about Jane's ass, was it sweaty, did it smell bad? How did it look? How did it taste, did she hate doing it? Did it make her feel like more of a whore? Why didn't Jane make fun of her for actually doing that?

4) The story seemed a bit dark, i think the part where random people were just pinching her nipples and grabbing her ass was a bit too much. As begrudgingly as she did those things for Princess she chose to do it. There was some consent. That part seemed too much like sexual abuse. If this is a story where someone is sexually abused it's just not fun to read. If she is is a submissive whore and allows them to blackmail her she is still consenting. She has the option to just say no and tell her husband the truth.

It isn't too late to get the story back on track. Just take your time with her decent into becoming a slave and make sure to write more details. Don't forget the main point is for her to be humiliated by younger women as well, that should be the main focus. Feel free to message me for ideas or any tips. I know as an author i constantly look for good advice and ways to improve my stories (and I have a long way to go) but almost all we get is hate or ideas, but not so much ways to improve.