All Comments on 'Visiting Mom Ch. 01'

Nice idea but very short and needed a beginning instead of starting in the middle of a story.

It’s a decent quick read. It’s certainly not one of the grammatical nightmares that show up on here. I find it amazing how people get off on tearing others down. I’m ready for part two.

Thanks for warning me about Ch. 02, the anal and toys. I won't be reading on.

and it just didn't work for the reasons I've just outlined.

Annoying, isn't it? When someone starts halfway through, without giving any context. Even short stories need a beginning, middle and end.

"Once upon a time, there was a guy called Paul. He died."

See? 12 words. Beginning middle and end. Easy.