All Comments on 'Mrs. & Miss Pt. 01'

Most people just flush it. Then he threw one through her hair? I hope it wasn't the same one. Ew.

the disaster to list a score.. this story just got out of bed.

will wait for a possible scoring

around her waste! Nasty stuff.

This is a 3 Part Story it is full of Kink and BDSM and Girl on Girl

Please Give it Time to evolve

SO many mistakes. I understand that this is a site for amateurs, but you have so many errors that it's laughable. And this is a story about........nothing. Nothing clever. Nothing original. No cheating. Nothing. Why bother?

No stars because there is no story.

Real life gets in the way of all of us: Kids, work, waxing...even the conversation in her head while they were getting busy is something that my wife tells me she does.

Sure, there are some mistakes, but overall, a great story that I hope doesn't end with her secretly having an affair.

a good short preamble maybe it could have been longer with a bit of depth, not sure when the hubby got home or why she woke around 11.

. . . stories only part way finished, but I did somewhat enjoy the beginning. Hopefully, the next two parts will come quickly. The one thing that really irritates me is when authors inform us of future parts, and we end up waiting forever. Not nice. That TxTallTales has kept us waiting for almost a year to the final part 6 of "Town without Honor" - since March, 2017!! Anyway, looking forward to the continuation of this one.

It's called exposition, and introduction of the characters. We can already see this going one of several (admittedly common) ways, based upon the actions of the main characters, and it is certainly from a female perspective. But at least it isn't a rote listing of measurements. Criticisms? The wife sure is a food-obsessed, chore-obsessed, possession and status obsessed potential bitch; worse, some of the grammar and word mistakes are jarring as hell. If the lack of sex detail was supposed to make us as frustrated as the wife, mission accomplished. I'd really prefer to see more "flesh" in the flesh-slapping bits in the next chapter, or this is a story I can quickly get tired of. No one cares that their Dr. is named Weissman, or that her loafers are Ferragamo, other than a nice ass, we don't have a clear picture of anyone.

Yeah... her waste...

I’m not a complete nazi about typos but I do hate when they come right at the end of a chapter (or section). A few typos sprinkled throughout is no big deal but you should make every attempt to start and finish strong. (And I’m sure you did, this is just one of those spellcheck-proof errors that you have to catch manually).

Anyway, interesting start and ominous ending that could go a few different ways. Thanks for writing.

Although the author's "it is full of Kink and BDSM and Girl on Girl Please Give it Time to evolve" suggests it will go in directions that I probably won't follow.

And, apart from the 'waste' that has humoured others (me too) I thought it was quite well written. It described a somewhat ordinary domestic scene with a few possible causes for concern.

I await the next episode with interest.

Lue

Thank you for the feedback on this story.

All 3 parts have been submitted and I am working on a part 4 now.

As I am a real life Dominatrix I do promise racey and sensual scenes to come.

Yes it is a bit of a tease...

I will work on the suggested Grammer and Spelling.

However my writing style is Loquacious; I am also a sapiosexual and a lexophile to boot. If you enjoyed it stick around, if not thank for reading.

Since your story will contain lots of "kink," "BDSM" and "girl/girl," why post it here? Those are very unpopular themes in this category. You will be burnt at the stake, here, in effigy. Why not post it where readers enjoy kink, BDSM and girl/girl? Categories such as Fetish, BDSM and Lesbian seem far better choices. If you post here, I hope you have very thick skin. Good luck.

it will develop at a reasonable rate. *****

LenaWest, get the chainmail suit ready and be prepared for the onslaught.

But, if you are sufficiently resilient, the LW comments can be entertaining.

Lue

Ps: If you are going to work on the Grammar and Spelling, you could perhaps start with the Grammer.

Pps: See, you were told to expect criticism.

So far an interesting start. I'm not a huge fan of one page chapters, but if released quickly enough, I can deal with it. The typos seem to be covered, so won't mention that. They were easy enough to fill in as I read anyhow. I will wait to see the rest of this tale before passing judgement.

RNebular

My slave and pet will be doing all of my editing going forward.

His high profile career is dependent upon such details; while I am an artist and Creator.

Going forward, all criticism in this matter will be directed to him.

This started as therapy/ creative writing and is in a lot of ways based on a true story.

Each Chapter is being published in its own category depending on the content.

The 2nd chapter falls under BDSM

While the 3rd falls under Sex TOYs

The 4th will again be BDSM

While I think the 5th will be Girl on Girl

There will be a make up scene for Daniel and Lena which will fall under Loving Wife. Not sure when.

Chapters 2 and 3 are being reviewed currently.

"This is a 3 Part Story it is full of Kink and BDSM and Girl on Girl" then it should start in the proper category.

LW=Married extra-marital fun: swinging, sharing.

What do we like to read??? Stories about: Married extra-marital fun: swinging, sharing

Note the category has NOTHING to do with a loving wife, nothing to do with BDSM or Girl on Girl.

Most readers here will follow the above category description.

Had it been in bdsm or fetish those readers might follow your story through.

1* for wrong category. (unread) (the comments said it all)

Next time read the category descriptions thoroughly and choose the best one. And trying to lay anything off on your editor is insane. They only try to fix mistakes not change the story. That's your responsibility.

Lena and Daniel will get back together in part 5... more to come

Just because part of your story MAY fit this category doesn't mean many want to read the whole thing. Asshole authors get voted 1*

I just went through the chapters and gave every one of them a 1* (unread)

If you don't respect your readers they'll piss on you. A well deserved pissing I might add.

The LW commentariat, at it's very worst, says things like "I just went through the chapters and gave every one of them a 1* (unread)." How stupid is that?

How can anybody with any concept of fairness rate a story without reading it?

And Gordo, don't forget that the definition of the category is "Married extra-marital fun: swinging, sharing & more." The "and more" gives authors a wide range of possibilities.

Lue

I wouldn't want my wife's arms around my waste. That's why it's in the toilet, where these stories should be also. If this is part of your artistry, you have a problem.