All Comments on 'Payback'

I thought that was going somewhere bad, but it turned out to be a sugar rush. Awesome story. Five stars, of course.

Hopefully there is more to come from this?? Just too much going on to leave it as it is Great writing as usual !!

...Where is Macon Ch. 02? Did I miss it?

There was some good scene setting, I could feel the sand under my feet and the sun on my back.

Randi probably could have a career as a tourism writer, her descriptive powers are that good.

And from something bad coming something good? That does happen.

I'd like to learn more, though. What happens to Toni? Does Kasey's mother play a part in the future? Do Sheldon and Kasey have children?

Story good, but your editing team need a wake up call. Within the first half page, mistakes! Its only because you set such high standards, that we should keep you to them. Develop this story please, lets see dads angst and Toni's own retribution.

Ha! You must have seen an Aphrodite statue recently -- or a picture of one -- or maybe yourself in a mirror! ;-)

Nice setup for a series here, thanks!

I usually enjoy blackrandl1958's output but this? No. He loves her? And she loves him? Kidnapped less than 48hrs, listens to the kidnapper's sob story and suddenly they're in love! No way! Not even Stockholm syndrome works that fast or as effectively. Maybe drugged up and then only maybe. Not just no but hell no. And him bleating about loivng her. Not a chance. He was a vengeful (If his story was even true), lying, conniving, coercive, rapist piece of shit. It was a shame the story persisted attempting to portray him as as a nice guy. He wasn't. As well written as it was I just couldn't stomach finishing it after the miraculous, suddenly in love conversion. Maybe had there been a prelude featuring his backstory and his conflicted emotions at carrying out his sick plan I might have felt different, but this rape is OK if they are in love? Nope.

This was non-consent/reluctance.

I would point out that if he turned her onto her belly, he entered her as she lay prone beneath him. She would be supine if on she were on her back.

Good story!

Kidnapped

Forced

hurt her to hurt someone else

No thanks

Let me start by saying I am a REALLY BIG FAN of yours and your talent! It is the subject matter that bothers me. I have been involved in volunteer work for some time to "give something back" and am dead set against abuse in whatever form. If he did not intend to hurt the daughter like Toni was, then what is the point especially if the father is so bad, how does he know the kidnapping will make any difference. There generally is no happy ending for kidnap victims. Just very strong feelings in this area because of what I have seen.

You make some very good points, if the timeline is 48 hours as stated in your comment. However, the timeline is 14 days, during which she has had full access to multiple people who have worked for Sheldon in multiple roles, and one person who is (in his words) 'Like a daughter to (him)'. As Thea and Kasey are similar ages, they would have undoubtibly for med a close friendship based on gender, age and situation (teenage female on a private island, and starved of companionship of other teenaged females). This makes the timeline much more feasable, and likely to happen without the factor of Sheldon being Kaseys superior in status, influence and wealth.

Sincerely

Anon 2/17/18

But that is a pleasant task! Excellent erotic development with an excellent lead in.

Keep 'em coming!!!!!

Usually love your work but this was a big miss with me. I was Kinda OK with the kidnapping element but to say this was any type of Romance is far fetched. There is no Romance when he has the Thi girl as a lover too. Also, there was no character development to show a build up of the love interest. It needed several more pages to flesh out the storyline. Sorry

Catch of a Lifetime is still one of my all time favorite stories

This line in itself makes your criticism ridiculous:

"We spent two idyllic weeks just like two friends on vacation."

Forty-eight hours indeed!

Did you even read the story or are you just another troll striking our against someone you hate because she has talents and abilities that make you feel pathetic and insecure?

Perhaps a bit brief in background and character development when compared to other of Randi's works but nonetheless I found it enjoyable and well written

Callipygian!? Seems every time I read a story of yours, my vocabulary grows! :-)

And likewise, I was looking for Macon chapter 2. Good things come to those who wait.

Bill

I hope this isn't finishrd. I would like more of the story.

more really good

Looking forward to more as the relationships develop in this intriguing story. And, soon it has hoped.

I thought that it was a great story, but, it dosen't seem finished.

So far, the only BR story I haven't liked, this just made my skin crawl.

But you don't kidnap, threaten rape, assault and humiliate an innocent girl because another innocent was harmed by the girl's father.

You get the diseased piece of shit himself.

Both of my sisters, my mother and myself were all assaulted. I had to watch, as a child, what happened to my sisters and my mother. No one saw what happened to me.

I have negative empathy for your protagonist and simply wish him harm.

Even after the child, 18 is hardly capable of making great decisions especially considering Stockholm syndrome, started to feel love for her captor, he should not have taken advantage.

Interesting exercise in writing however.

Nor is it an indication of virginity. It is like a ring, and sits at the entrance of the vagina, not inside the vagina.

It only takes a few minutes to look that up. Maybe you should do some research and educate yourself on anatomy.

You're on a sex site where people get off on hymens "breaking." It does sit like a ring, but you're wrong in that it can't be a barrier. It very much can, as the ring has to tear.

If you want to sit in Anatomy class, I suggest you go to your nearest college. The rest of us perverts here will enjoy our sex stories.

Writing style was mostly good however using Stockholms Syndrome to get back at someone in lieu of that someone ... not my taste.

He treats her as a possession. That’s all she can be to “get back”.

Not sure where a chapter 2 would go but this does need one.

Why did he not go after the terrorists that destroyed Toni.Also why did he not let Kasey,s dad know he had her,just to really hurt him.?

You sail close to the wind with some of your stories, when it comes to decency. Some of your stories make me uncomfortable as regards the age or description of the girls in them. It borders on child porn. I give you the benefit of the doubt, because you write them as adults, but yet describe them as much younger and naively innocent. Like buying a child on the street and raising them to be a lover. Walking a fine and dangerous line.

No comment.

This story ended at the mid point, not even close to being complete. Finish it!

DT

I hope there is going to be a second chapter. Good start for a story. You just finished it to soon.

Hi Randi.

Why was there no attempt to inform Kasey's dad as a punishment? This is a soft and slow development of a love story. Thanks for making our reading so pleasant, however rough the beginning was.

BJ

Waiting on chapter 2. And maybe more.

Please continue with this story.

Kind of a hap-hazard story moving along without a lot of missing support info and other story structure. Seemed the whole story was based on the Stockholm syndrome of victim rape and mind control.

Not a really interesting and enjoyable read and no real ending. There must be a point of the story????

A sequel is implied. It reminds me a bit of patty hearts conversion to Tanya. Or the Kardashian girls obsession with rich black men.

Stockholm Syndrome?

Oh yes, there has to be a sequel. A confrontation between Shell and her Dad, and her over everything, especially Toni is imminent. Toni recovers, returns to the Island, and fines a new pussy has taken charge, but she lets the boss man get her back in the pecking order, so they can all enjoy his cock, and not kill him. Good story line. Keep writing.

XYZ

Sweet, sexy story ... thank you.

Didn't like the violence against her. Good story about Stockholm syndrome though

Great premise, but way too short and breezed by so many interesting points and characters that this could have been (or could be) an epic story of revenge, hero origin story, or so many different genres too follow. This story definitely need a serious makeover and a deeper dive, but again, the premise and concept is pure gold. I hope that you would consider updating this story, maybe into a series or novella.

There NEEDS to be at least one more chapter, where the father is dealt with!

My first read Randi, very good - thank you! 5 stars

somewhere east of Omaha

Learning how to convert from hostage to accomplice by Stockholm Syndrome. Reminded of Patty Hearst to become Tanya of the SLA. (The only member to escape death or incarceration despite terrorist activities...) how can Toni recover physically, mentally, and emotionally?