Great start, pay a little more attention to your writing to make the story even better. You've opened up some wonderful possibilities. Bringing the neighbor in was a great move. Hmm, you can go so many places with the story now. Neighbor's husband getting Auntie, neighbor getting auntie wherever you take it I'll be looking for more!
by
Anonymous01/05/05
Good first try
Good first attempt.Suggest you develop the characters a bit more next time. It would help if they were not quite so serious, after all sex was only invented so that God could show us He/She has a sense of humour
... you need to get an editor. For example, what does this mean: "What was worse was the fact that he just stood there staring at me for minutes all day." I liked the way that you used different points of view. Also using the neighbor added to the ways this series could go. Please keep writing, but get an editor.
by
Anonymous03/27/08
Good Story
This was a great attempt at your first story. I kinda thought this story belonged in NonConsent. It read like a NonConsent story to me. Keep'em coming, you warmed me up.
by
Anonymous07/08/10
Nice Job
My top 10 list has a new entry. Nice job. i liked the build up but i think it would have been so much cooler if it had only 1 point of view.
by
Anonymous08/16/11
....Another great story on Literotica. ^_^
Every aspect of it was great, especially the twist with the neighbor seeing them. I hope there is a chapter 3 as soon as I start reading chapter 2 of this hot series.
Keep up the good work, and don't stop posting. ^_^
English
Great
Great first piece. Hope to hear more on Lloyd ande Aunt Vicki.
A little short and rushed....
....but I loved the blackmail and the multiple points of view. Please continue, including the neighbor's view.
1st time was very good!
Great start, pay a little more attention to your writing to make the story even better. You've opened up some wonderful possibilities. Bringing the neighbor in was a great move. Hmm, you can go so many places with the story now. Neighbor's husband getting Auntie, neighbor getting auntie wherever you take it I'll be looking for more!
Good first try
Good first attempt.Suggest you develop the characters a bit more next time. It would help if they were not quite so serious, after all sex was only invented so that God could show us He/She has a sense of humour
good
more detail,make a part 2.
Nice First Story, but...
... you need to get an editor. For example, what does this mean: "What was worse was the fact that he just stood there staring at me for minutes all day." I liked the way that you used different points of view. Also using the neighbor added to the ways this series could go. Please keep writing, but get an editor.
Good Story
This was a great attempt at your first story. I kinda thought this story belonged in NonConsent. It read like a NonConsent story to me. Keep'em coming, you warmed me up.
Nice Job
My top 10 list has a new entry. Nice job. i liked the build up but i think it would have been so much cooler if it had only 1 point of view.
....Another great story on Literotica. ^_^
Every aspect of it was great, especially the twist with the neighbor seeing them. I hope there is a chapter 3 as soon as I start reading chapter 2 of this hot series.
Keep up the good work, and don't stop posting. ^_^
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