All Comments on 'Contract Extensions'

Excellent character development and pacing. You gave just enough hints about his former life to let us know there was pain involved in his withdrawal that went beyond losing his brother. Best of all, you didn't get overly emotional and sappy with the love interest. I hope you don't write a sequel, for I already have it fixed in my mind and wouldn't want to mess it up.

I don't recall having read any other of your offerings, but I'll rectify that right now.

SoC

Very nice !!

A superb mix of humour, personal pain and love, balanced so well with the children.

Best story on this site for a very long time & in excellent English too!!

Do, please, keep up writing this type of story.

VBR

19pvc44

Nice read. 5 stars!

Thank you for the kind words.

There won't be a sequel.

Thank you for taking the time to read the story and comment.

There will be another story in the Romance category in about 2 weeks. It's being edited now. It will be more than double the length of Contract Extensions. Hopefully you'll enjoy it.

Thanks again.

As good as this story is, it deserves more chapters for your readers to enjoy. You have brought together a great group of characters and put them together. Now you need to make them a family and see what lies ahead for them....Thanks!

I'm a sucker for Romance stories, and this one got to me several times. I know that you were keeping Christine a bit of a mystery early on, but I would have enjoyed a little more of her in the story, especially with Mark liking kids so much.

Thanks for this one, looking forward to your next offering!

A nice, straight-up story, well told.

I got kinda confused with names occasionally, but I enjoyed the idea.

Thank You

HP

Real people living real lives.

More in Romance or Loving Wives would be welcome.

************

Good shout out to Ohio's work. I can't believe "Scenes From A Marriage" only has a 4.60 score! It should be 4.97, or higher. He and DreamCloud are the Gold Standard.

The kids were a great way to pull everything together. Cute, warm, natural, and unaware. Lots of details could have been filled in to build the connection a bit more. The skeleton was there.

Did he have an ongoing relationship with the gym? How did it survive the loss of its benefactor?

What happened with the bullies?

Did he take Maria to meet his family?

What became of The garden, the butterflies?

It was a very good tale of sweet romance, good enough I wanted more.

Thanks

Really good story. Would love to see how you would continue it.

Sure, there are lots of flaws in this story, but if you were a perfect author and had a perfect editor you wouldn't be writing for Literotica. It was obvious that Maria and Mark would end up together, but the way they got there, whiile not being the most creative process, was satisfying to the reader. At least to the ones like me that are fed up with the junk that populates these pages in ever-increasing quantities. Is it possible that we've used up all the creative ideas in the world and are doomed to a world of trash? Not perfect, but worth a 5* in my book.

This story was a pleasure to read. Well thought out, and flowed well. I encourage you to write more in this category. Well Done!

I enjoyed the story very much

I see some very good questions raised about this story by my namesakes. They show its quality, as a good story doesn't spell everything out. A report describes exactly what has happened, but a good story often merely sketches. Thus, it really grows from the reader answering the questions that it calls up. If the reader instead writes out the questions in public rather than answer them in his mind, well let's say he got it half right then.

Keep up this style of writing. It's worth more than just a single three page story.

This is very good for Romance category. Thanks!

Damn!! Ur good. One of the best Romance stories ever that I've read on this site. Love the dry sense of humor among main characters Mark, Maria and gossip lady Jennifer. Romance is my favorite genre, more please. I beg you! Mega kudos!!!

Five stars.

WS

but especially the dialogue. Thanks for sharing!

a very enjoyable read

jtaylor

His siblings go far, far beyond mere avarice! They could ALMOST be forgiven for being unwilling to share their own wealth. But where a significant portion of their wealth came from Jerry's generosity, they OWED him! They should have made monthly payments in lieu of the mortgage payments that they would have otherwise have had to pay.

His sisters and brother moved as soon as their "meal ticket" was gone? He bought them their houses, was he also supporting them?

Who inherited Jerry's house?

@Anonymous Re: "Weakly put together" - Actually, he spent more time describing the mover than Maria!

Christine was mentioned twice before we found out who she was!

What a great story! You had me laughing out loud and crying out loud. There were a few little typos and shit but that is a great story. I look forward to your future efforts.

When Todd172 suggests you read someone you haven't heard of, you do it. Thank you Todd.

I'll say this: When a Todd story shows up, I drop everything and read it. I'm going to have to add Bebop to that list...

sometime it involves kids and family. TK U MLJ LV NV

Funny and heartwarming, well done!

Very balanced.

I just found one of your stories"A Montauk Daisy" and now I am reading everything.

Not perfect, but who cares. It was warm, serious and funny in appropriate proportions. Is there an app for that?

Lots of fun, but you stopped to soon.

Sweet story. I love the rhythm and pacing. Actually reminds me of JimBob44’s style, and I say that as the highest compliment. Characters are richly painted with the most minimal of strokes. Ted’s energy, Wendy’s intellect, mother bear Maria. Very affecting. Thanks.

Good story - and loved the dialogue. It is concise, fresh, humorous.

I mostly read in LW because I find the quality of writing better. It is where I have found most of my favorite authors. I have been glad to add you to the list and have been really enjoying going through all your stories. I am happy to do it when the LW gives nothing of interest. You definitely have plenty of stories to interest me and entertain me.

I appreciate your writing style and storytelling abilities well worth the time and price (if I was paying for it : ). So please keep writing and I will keep reading.

A very nice story, I enjoyed it. Seemed like it ended too soon, even though I guess that was a good stopping point.

Agree, beautifully written. The only fault I found was in the late introduction of Christine. Mrs. Cruz says, “blah-blah-blah Jerry and Christine blah-blah” and it’s like a Scooby “Huh??? Whose that?” And since it was mentioned with Jerry I figured it was Jerry’s wife since you hadn’t mentioned yet if he was married or not.

Unless you meant to do that, that is leave us dazed and confused. Then it worked perfectly.

5-stars

usually you bitch about things being too predictable but here you are ok with it. And to think you gave 5*! Glad to see you can still be snarky, however.

Not fully fleshed out but with more information on statements made, than usual, in your stories. 5*s.

Beautiful love story with some clever twists. Came to read you via MsCherylTerra. Certainly well rewarded for doing it and will be reading more. Can see why your co-written tales are so good.

I'm usually a Fan of more extensive Stories. Like 30k words++

I find it difficult to get a real depth in Stories for anything below 10/15k words.

Yet here you are with >10k words and telling a fantastic in-depth story.

I had never a feeling you skipped things, events.

How you told the Story felt just natural.

Naturally, I still have the feeling I want to read more of them, but that's the curse of a really good story, isn't it?

I don't remember this one before. It was lovely!

5

One of the better stories I've read, from the setup to the rather fun conclusion.

Jennifer was a nice vehicle to keep it light and prevented the feeling of a 'lack of finish'.

Why the fuck would you leave a devastating, soul eating story like "Scenes From A Marriage" after we read a genuinely loving Romance like Contract Extensions?

For someone who can write romance, you're a fucking moron when it comes to understanding love.

You're good.

I tend to write long, involved plots.

This story carries a full measure of depth and emotion in three pages.

Great read!

5*

As always you deliver the goods.

Why mention Cristine without something about her story

Anonymous

07/04/20

asshole

Why the fuck would you leave a devastating, soul eating story like "Scenes From A Marriage" after we read a genuinely loving Romance like Contract Extensions?

For someone who can write romance, you're a fucking moron when it comes to understanding love.

Don't understand this comment. Bebop3 didn't write Scenes From a Marriage, DopamineFan wrote it.

Bebop, Randi, QHML1, Slirpuff and all the other great writers of Lit can't help readers who CAN'T READ! They read every other word then say things are missing . . .duh! I can't begin to explain confuse stories with the wrong writers. Reading is one of the best and safest habits you can have - don't speed read the words, enjoy them. You will enjoy stories more. BTW for you confused people Christine was explained as much as the story needed; her headstone (meaning she had DIED) listed Mark as her husband. Thank you once more sir for a uplifting story of people learning to love again.

somewhere east of Omaha

But he’s inconsistent. Sometimes he slams a story because we knew the two main characters would end up together and other times he’s perfectly ok with it and still gives a high mark.

Bebop3 should consider him/herself lucky.

Very nice...

Thank you.

5+++stars!

Beautifuly written thank you, an easy 5

Loved it! A thank you and 5 stars!

My take on the Christine thing (mentioned only briefly then quick gravestone scene) is that we weren’t meant to know he was a widower straight way. Which works well!

So first snippet is foreshadowing and to plant the seed that he has some kind of baggage. Then really, there is not much more to say other than he obviously misses her but ‘the show must go on’ and it is not a romance about Mark and Chistine.

Nice story and enjoyed that is wasn’t super long but still packed a punch. Thanks!

Outstanding!

more...thanks

Somehow I missed this one. It's well worth your time to read it. Excellently constructed and written. 5*

excellent

Loved this wonderful, feel good , happily ever after story, Thanks for sharing it.

HHHMMMMMM Starting to get used to your style You sure do go off at a tangent BUT I quite like your stories (jaybee186)

Another feel good story. Entertaning and easy to read.