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English
not
one should never that repitition past three, unless there is either a very good reason for it, or uses variants.
Here in your own words:
The world is not a factory; it destroys what it creates.
The world is not a product; all literary packaging is in vain.
The world is not an artwork; its beauties are incidental.
this begins to make a point, that is missed, by continuing.
lets try something else
The world is not a product; all literary packaging is in vain.
The world is not a factory; it destroys what it creates.
The world is not art; its beauty is existence.
this is better, no? 3rd is variant, begins to take on a visual, last point being more emphasized? These are questions I am asking.
I do not see the purpose of Knot in the title
I did not vote on this (I think)
nice points
a list of what the world is not
I think the point/list is a wonderful
way to play out a poem and that it worked
well in this piece. Thanks sean~
I think this has real possibilities...
One way to avoid the repetition of the negative, is midway through to start revealing what the world IS. That could end the poem on a more positive note and make the whole structure less restrictive.
~
I wish I knew if you were looking for suggestions (from me) on your writing. I feel like I could help you give this poem the chance to become what it is meant to be.
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