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English
Can do Better
I was fairly kind in my comments on your first chapter. I regret that will have to be qualified. This is basically a good idea and a good story but the punctuation is woeful. The grammar too has a few problems but they are so easy to fix ,why not fix 'em. With the help of an editor you could be pretty good.I strongly recommend you consider using one. I know you were upset by the comments on your first chapter so please take this in the spirit I intend.With a bit of help you will eliminate 90% of the negative comment.
Good luck.
Thank you Ishtat
Thank you for the repeated pointing of the short comings.
Since you have never written anything but criticism as of yet.
I appreciate your voice. I'm taking it in the way its been offered.
Annora
Vivid~
awesome story A~
I loved the sensual tone she relays
I've been Angela'd ~
grammer ??? a comma? good grief!
nice story Annora, more please this is an
enchanting chapter to a rewarding read.
Looking forward to chapter three
Anonymous because
In answer to your comment on Chap. 3, some of us readers are not members so we have to remain anonymous when commenting. The criticism is no less valid just because of anonymity and it's made by many others. Why don't you take note?
good
good story,i wish i was angela"d
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