All Comments on 'Halloween'

Crap she seems to be a per then allows an unknown man to fuck her

Stories written in second person perspective are rare. There is a reason for this...it is hard to pull it off properly, and it often makes the story awkward or disjointed.

It is awkward, and really wasn't successful.

Just the first paragraph...

"Every year, dad invites [PRESENT TENSE] us to his school's annual Halloween Masquerade party. The college threw [PAST TENSE] it as a way for faculty and students to unwind after mid-terms. A lot of the faculty brings [PRESENT TENSE] their families [MISSING COMMA] because the party is festive, food is plentiful, and for faculty only[*], a separate area was always set aside for just the faculty [TAUTOLOGICAL REITERATION OF *] to kick back."

Sorry, wasn't prepared to read beyond that abortion of an opener!