All Comments on 'Playing with Fire Ch. 01'

hot stuff, I loved it. Maybe sis wants some too. He might knock sis up and they live together with mom.

I would love to see sis get involved. Maybe walking in and catching them making love not just fucking but really making love. She sees how beautiful and passionate they are together. And decides she wants to experience that love with her brother and mother.

Barely into the story, and you’ve already managed to screw up the sister’s name. Is it Jess or Katie? I am honestly impressed that you managed to churn out a page of this crap. I assume you wrote this while sitting on the toilet taking a dump. Thankfully, I won’t be wasting my time reading the rest of it.

*****

Love the story , You must have wrote it for me mmm

I am still married to my husband but do share with our son too.

WITH him it is special . I can feel him more deeply and love knowing he likes it too.

D

Glad this was chapter one. Chapter two needs to have Katie find them fucking!!

The story was so basic.

Spelling errors littered the page.

You meandered from past tense to present.

You changed your sister's name.

Please don't bother with more chapters if this is your standard of work.

Looking forward to more chapters.

Horney slut mother, I would love read some more about those two

hardon hot,,,,,,fun solo read t/y AND YES I DID

Best part "I know". So many possibilities.

some one end me a massage I don't know where to replay so.... either hit me up where I can reach you or shit out of luck

Nice story happy the son was realistic not like the rest where there’s a super sexy milf mom and a ripped super buff 10 inched dick son

after the second paragraph. You seriously need to have your work reviewed by someone else. As a reader, I shouldn't be stumbling over words or adding the missing verb or noun for the sentence to make sense. Please find a good editor/collaborator/proof-reader before posting your next chapter/story. I did not rate your story.

You need to slow down and build up more. Mum went straight from cuddling to sex. Life takes time to build up to things, even if both had been thinking about each other in the past. Otherwise was okay. Agree you need proofvreader to tidy things up. 4*

Good as is story, don't change for these wanna bees. Doing things like being picky for grammar is just stupid (for those that do it) especially for a porn site. Imagine you're reading and playing with your cock (or clit), grammar mistakes is the last thing on your mind, lol.

HOWEVER, I have to agree with the commenters that you NEED an editor. The missing words, etc. interrupt the flow.

For the read.

For the read.

I hope your cum was running down her leg as you left the restaurant.