by the_shires
except for a few typo's it was a good story, and fantasies are also so much better because you can think of anything and no one says no
Yes, I agree with the other comments. I also encourage
you to keep writing. The characters have the potential to
explode into a Hall of Fame series.
Please by all means, keep developing the story and your
characters. Make sure you proofread.
Have fun with your story.
There are a few mis spelled words which makes the story a bit hard to understand. Some sentence structures are a bit clunky. As far as the actual story, it was okay.