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English
*
as you would say:
hehheh or something like that, you have some nice stuff going on here.
Tinas five gallon buckets
were hum drums for hours
bang bang bang drum roll splat
to sip the brown juice
that was buttermilk sour
spew spit spat yak
the faces of the ugly
good
but this stanza is too choppy:
Our little band
needed the boost
to sound as good
as the parents
after drinking
... the brown juice!
You need to lengthen the lines. Read the stanza that begins with master plan. Notice how much smoother that one reads?
Keep it up!
A little more improvement and you will be almost as good as uncle Pervy!
~~
Here's where they learned their lesson well
And it was all self-administered!
Guitar mania
Loose knit musical group - children in fantasy mood trying to emulate - reality.
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