- All
Comments (7) - Add a
Comment - Send
Feedback Send private anonymous feedback to the author (click here to post a public comment instead).
| Literotica Toy Store ADULT TOY & DVD STORE FAST & DISCREET |
Literotica XXX Webcams 24/7 LIVE CAMS - FREE PREVIEW W/AUDIO! |
Literotica Adult Movies STREAMING ADULT MOVIES PAY PER MINUTE |
English
like what?
Its a nice start. But thats just it,just a start. Well written start. Please, in order to comment, put a lil more into the story. I am sure you will do just fine.
Story Content is too slow.....
a dud!
Great start! Keep more coming!
you're off to a great start! You've got us interested in all 3 of your charachters, and just what business they are in. Her need and want is building our own need and want!
Keep writing, I'm anxioust to read more!
Nice start, however it's in the wrong catagory
Since Diane's shown that she wants to connect with Michael, having dressed to attract his attention and gotten frustrated at her supposed failure, this obviously isn't a case of either nonconsent or reluctance. A better fit would be Erotic Couplings.
My opinion anyway.
Kydreamer
What is her real name?
Your title has the name diane in it, your first para has the name diana in it...which is it? All this adds to the query of the episode, what's your point?
Good first effort
Good read, way too short but not bad as a first effort. Cutting it off in the middle of a scene is likely to irritate your readers. A good story should aways have a climax. Then if you wish to tease your readers, introduce the next high point and leave it there. Keep writing you have the skills.
Dom
Well I never
Surprised to find this was your first story. As usual I thoroughly enjoyed it. The stage is set and I am ready to start number two
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to Office Play Ch. 01 or
More submissions by Goldeniangel.