by Harddaysknight
from a great writer. Although the ending was no surprise I was laughing so hard that I didn't care. You have a real sense of humor. Please keep writing.
Good story line, good characters, not too long and a very amusing conclusion. Well done !
It's so fine to read something original. And ending it with a faithful wife and devoted husband too.
But what's a night or two at the ballet. Looking at women's legs is probably my favorite sport.
Doug
nice to see some humor once in a while. very well put together!
Another good story from Harddaysknight. The twist at the end was just fantastic. Keep up these great stories.
Great little twist. You're going to make Patricia jealous if you keep it up.
The lad really ran the gambit in his thoughts. I'm not sure I would ever deliberate away from the doorway except to find a bat or something. Kill her with kindness. I'm sure not too many revenge minded cuckolds would ever think of that one. His demeanor was so changed he might have ended up committed to the funny farm if he hadn't funneled his attention to her body.
Even the little evening spoiler at the end was funny!
This is delightful. Incredibly witty and fun. And darn it I had already outlined something similar. A great story all around. I wonder if this is the way to convince my husband to take me to the ballet?
Not only a good story, from the standpoint of erotic content, but absolutely hilarious. This was definitely a "rofl" story.
I loved this... the humour only added to the story.
Great ending, what more can I say? What they said and more... if you read one story today, make it this one!!!
HDK
Man I loved it! I still think it was the wife that dodged the bullet but it was a great read. One for my library.
Read ya later
Bishop
Just when I think that all the good stores have been read (I have been hard at it!) HDK writes another. X-Bishop writes one, patrica51 wrote one not long ago. I was sooo happy tearning into people ,not there is no reason to! humour, great sex, good writing.
I need to get a life. HDK, you need to get to the word processor and crank out another!
I already read it 3 times and I laughed my ass off each time. Great story.
It's rare when a story makes you laugh out loud. It's even rarer when you also learn a new vocabulary word in a porn story: priapism. His wife wanted to refuse him sex because he had a hard-on. "Don't mistake an erection for being horny". This was just a funny story.
Just when I was hating his wife..........Surprise!
Excellent Job and funny! I know how I would feel If I came home and found her banging some shit head. I wouldn't have been so cool! But idf he barged in he would have seen it was her sister, And we wouldn't have an excellent story!
Thanks for Writing!
Sexmate
This is a great one. You could put this one in the humour section, too!!
Really enjoyed this.
What the hell is this being classed as a loving wife story? There's more than enough humor here to put it firmly in the humor category.
Nice twist with all the humping & pumping going on in his bed. All he has to do is figure out who's who in that dept.
Does Joe realize what he has done to himself? He has set himself to a new high standard in the loving gymnastics department; Theresa's going to be looking for more passion and, even worse, more visits to the ballet.
Humor, sex, and worry - I enjoyed how you mixed all into a unique story. Please keep them coming.
THANKS. Have to get something off my chest in regards to two comments more or less directed at me. Those comments were made in regards to the story sharing my wife. First let me say that i know almost all stories are fiction, but when a writer does a great job it pulls us in and makes it seem real. Now First to softly, i am neither old or a turd or skinny. I have had great sex, just ask your wife. By the way i have a nice 8 1/2" cock that your wife really worships.By the way i didn't read this story since the title said it all. I want to thank the auuthor on the heads up on that.I still let the author know how i feel about his story, which by the way dickhead is what they ask of us so that they can grow as a writer. To anonymous, i am not racist or have i ever been. I am hispanic and i have friends that are both white and black. So thats not the issue her, shithead. The issue was stated perfectly by the anonymous that said that he didn't understand why anyone would take a chance by putting themselves and those they love at risk. I mean everytime you have sex with someone outside of marriage there is always a risk of catching something. He was right on, when he said that you don't know what the other person or persons do in there spare time. Hell he could be fucking everyone that will spreads her legs for him. The woman that you fuck could be spreading her legs for every man for all you know. I don't know about everybody but i wouldn't even think of putting my loved ones at rist just to satisfy some fantasy. I have told my wife how i feel about this and i have also told her that if she ever cheated on me our marriage was over. That there would be no excuses, reasons or explanations that she could give to me that would make me understand why she cheated. Enough Said
There are clearly two lessons to be learned from this story:
1. Be careful of making assumptions!
2. As the Troubador pointed out, these dancers have NICE legs! They don't call them tighghts for nothing! Just sit back and enjoy. You don't have to listen to the music.
By the way, what was with the last comment? That was pretty weird?
Anyway, another great story. I'm only mildly jealous! I'm humble enough to recognize superior talent!
HDK:
This one is another of your usual outstanding efforts. It's funny, It's sexy, and it gives a little food for thought. Was it really her sister? If he couldn't find any evidence in her pussy it only means she understands how to douche with a vengence. Nice work and Thank You. Ronnie W.
Did this guy actually believe that bs? Does the author expect us to believe it. I would say that she fast on her feet, that's all.
Very funny and I didn't see it coming until he had his wife in bed. I hope he enjoyed the ballet. However, I'd say it's a small price to pay for the information he got talking "dirty" to his wife.
I have two questions first if both the wife and husband are not home how does her sister get into there house? And question two is it just me or are alot of stories authors have written lately make the husband out to be a complete idiot? Either he's believing some stupid story she gives him, or after she cheats on him he still takes her back. Maybe it's just me, even so good story and I look forward to more from you.
Another fun story by you. I read it when it came out but never voted for some reason.
Boyd
That was so stupid was the husaband supposed to believe her in thinking she has a twin sister that is shit.
I'm still cackling and snorting with laughter. Thanks, HDK, for a wonderful spoof of Literotica LW stories.
Recommended with a beer or a glass of wine. WARNING: Remove any beverage from area of reading before last paragraph is read!<P>
Poor Hubby, might as well start liking the “Swan Lake” and the like…
On the site. I cant remember how many times Ive read it and I still laugh out loud every time. The wife's words/delivery and his thoughts when he comes home drunk are hilarious. Thanks much for such a great story.
HDK, I really enjoyed this. It was really funny.
Delicious as always. The guy used a minimum of evidence
to back his false conclusion!
case caused him major harm.
i'M A BIG FAN OF HDKS BUT THIS IS NOT ONE OF HIS BETTER EFFORTS. Sometimes his pure comedy wears a little thin.
the Ct. Yankee
wonder what it takes to make some readers happy, I think they're reading these stories for the wrong reason. You think?
Was it really the wife's sister getting balled? Really? Really? Come on now HDK...only you really know for sure.
It was a really funny story. Especially when his offer of opra tickets comes back and bites him in the ass. Thanks for the great read.
jUST MORE OF YOUR ENDLESS WIMP GARBAGE AS THE STANDARD PLATITUDE IS INCORPORATED, WITH THE CUCK LEAVING THE FUCKING SCENE TO DROWN HIS SORROWS ON BOOZE . IF YOU STUPID ,QUEER IN THE CLOSET, LIT AUTHORS, COULD EVER FIND EVEN THE SLIGHTEST SMIDGEN OF ORIGINALITY IN YOUR CHEATING WIFE STORIES .
PURE GARBAGE ASSHOLE, AS USUAL.
JOHN tREVOR
Totally a great story, Five stars all across. I was looking for a laugh to pass the time and my clit ended up getting hard halfway in between. Forget those other assbags and keep writing, this story was amazing.
I should have saw it coming but you snuck it in so cleverly. Good job! I gave you a five.
Love the little twists you throw in. Keep it up!!
No whimpy husbans no slut wives, love it.
Except stories about old folks are not sexy so I rated it 1*.
DWornock, someone needs to shove your head up your ass, so the bullshit you come out with lands where it belongs
Absolute pure win. DWnitwit is a cop-hating ped0, ignore that slimy sack of shit, this was a funny story.
Is a winner lol
The poor brother-in-law is screwed -
Nice one -
You do have a way with words!
Thanks for this hilarious story and that has to be one of the funniest endings ever....
A fine old submission by the inimitable HDK! Thank you so much!
Lucky he didn't go charging in and beat the guy up! Boy would his sister-in-law have been surprised.
Great story by the master. Hilarious! He threw up old cliches and showed how idiotic they can be. The one about knowing the wife is cheating by tasting her pussy! Alls he got was a face of female ejaculate. Ha ha! I like the line "Don't confuse an erection with being horny!" I also like the idea of beer giving you wisdom! He he! He also showed if you put some effort into your mating you will get good results.
This really broke me up. I needed it bad! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!
...that someone as dumb as he is could become VP! Surely one of your worst stories, HDK.
Who is clueless. There is no mistaking your wife of 22 years. She is a cheating cunt and knows her husband is worthless faggot who will believe anything she tells him. Pathetic!
and crying. Man some woman must have really fucked up your head. You poor, poor dumb ass cum drinker
I don't know why anyone would dump on this, I thought the whole "mistaken identity" of her sister was kinda entertaining. I like the BTB stories but this was a nice break.
Thank you HDK for another entertaining tale.
Poor bastard would be better off if his wife WAS cheating!
When I finally realized it had to be another woman, I was ready for the ending. But I forgot about the ballet tickets. Priceless!
If he had been smarter then he could have thrown a fit about the sister and got out of going to the ballet.
Pssst! Hey Buddy, yah want the hottest sex around? Sure yah do, yah look like a real stud. Not like all these here annoyingmousie teeny-weenie tweeners that infest this site.
Get thee to the Metropolitan Ballet studios. Those women are beautiful and athletic and very, very limber! And all that hard, physical work leaves them as horny as a deity.
I promise yah, from my experience, this will be the closest a man will ever come to fucking an octopussy!
After all he got to call her a slut and treat her like one, so that can now be a full time thing when he fucks her. And if he really believed her, he was a dumb shit! Good one!
...and beer. All's well, etc., and so forth. BUT! The BALLET!?!?
" It wasn't rocket science. Just hire the right people and pay them enough to keep them loyal."
Nice trick, Not sure I believe her! Do you think she figured out that he knew she was screwing some guy and made up a quick story????? I always wonder, he walks in and there she is getting fucked blind, and he does nothing? I would grab him by the hair and throw him out. (course I'm 6'4" 210 lbs) even if he is bigger a kidney hit will do it........
The time to intervene is right now. He can't run with his dick in someone and there are many ways to lay some hurt on someone fucking in your house. If it had indeed been someone besides the wife, then kicking lover boy's ass off of your bed is a good thing. If it was your wife, killing lover boy on your bed is a good thing, preferably pinning the bitch to the bed with the body. I'm not 6ft4, but a stick or a bat or a hatchet will work pretty well. Hammers are good too.
Good writing, but considering the author, I would bet that it was the wife and she suckered hubby again, probably fed him someone else's cum to boot. Why do these guys when they think their wife is fucking around want to put their mouths on the sloppy ass pussy? Makes no sense.
You have to take the wife's word about what happened on faith. It's a good story but, as demonstrated by several comments, there is really nothing to say she didn't cheat other than her story. She could have showed and douched by the time that her husband got home. I guess this is just one of those stories where the truth about what happened is up to the reader to decide. Some will want the wife to be telling the truth, some will want her to be a cheating slut that eventually gets caught and punished.
Then I would disconnect the house phone, shut off the internet and take all the cell phones with me. I would drive over to the sisters house and confront her and her husband for a reaction. If it is exactly what it should be, (a total melt down) fine. If the sister and husband show confusion and concern but not panic - then the wife has a problem. Any which way, the truth is always the way to go.
is how desperately the closet cuckolds want the wife to have cheated - priceless
5*
Taken at face value, as the author would expect the readers to do, this was a funny yet cautionary tale of too little information, bad assumptions and muddled drunk thinking.
I Loved It! 5*
For the readers who must impute their own "facts" or "suspicions".
Why didn't Joe at least get a few pictures of the action for future divorce proof?
Why would a cheating wife leave the dirty linens in their bedroom still stained with the "proof" of her transgressions?
Why would Joe not gather said linens for lab testing for further "proof"?
BTBers, feel free to continue to rewrite the authors story...OR...Maybe just write and post a story of your own! WOW! What a incredible suggestion HUH?
For me, Thank You Harddaysknight, great story!
Just My Opinion, YMMV
Morgan DeWolfe
Okay. The slutty cheating sister. I never saw THAT coming. Great ending. 5 stars.
Well, if he had gone caveman, charging in and beating the other guy up, would he have been so very wrong ? Even though it's mistaken identity, they were at it in his house after all.
It was her sister but he did not know that. He should have jerked him off of the bed and kicked him until he could not get than went after her and once he realized it was not his wife threw them both out naked. I bet the sisters would have a long talk about that and she would say don't make him mad. Was it really her sister or was it quick thinking on her part??? Only the writer knows but he should have told her he came home and found her in bed with another man. If that is the true story about her sister it was cute and funny if it was the wife burn them both.
Ron/ cowboyridecc@yahoo.com
My mother told me when I was growing up to "never assume" Yep I fell on that in this story. Well done HDK. As always you write great stories and this one is right up there a god 5*.
Thanks again for another over-the-top Marx brothers comedy!
Laughed out loud several times, love your zany humor!
I'm still laughing about the 'last word' of the wife. Gotta just man up sometimes. 5*.
can you consider a request from a fan; the theme is this; this will fabulous shortstory and with your magic pen (metaphoric) you can breathe magic into the following: since you are a fab 4 fan, try writing one based on the second one (rolling stones), not really; Marianne Faithfull's song, I am not Lisa.... ok girlfriend of Mick Jagger, so stones is close enough. Two husbands and two wives; Lisa and Dave (Lisa has blue eyes); another is Melinda and James; both guys college buddies; Dave is a looker and a player and Lisa wasn't in love with him; nevertheless was fond enough of him to let him into pant(ies) when drunk and gets pregnant and Lisa's parents come to know this and demand that he marry her, and he does because he was scared of what Lisa's parents can do to his career (he works for them, he was their best friends' son); James, though goodlooking, is almost an antisocial and does extremely well in studies , very good with numbers, a finance whizkid, and begins to make his millions right after college; Lisa is secretly in love with him, but never had the guts to approach James, and she buries her love deep inside now that her parents got her married to Dave and reluctantly decides to become the best wife she can be; she knows he is a great guy despite his aloof, reserved nature; meanwhile Melinda and James become an item, after much chasing from Melinda; but that is all a part of the plan for Dave and Melinda ; the twist is Melinda was crazy about Dave (they were together even before college, Dave took Melinda's cherry), so much that she was willing to ignore Dave's philandering, hoping that he would settle down and marry her eventually; Lisa's pregnancy put a spanner in the wheel and her eventual marriage to Dave; Lisa was the gravy train that Dave couldn't give up, so he and Melinda hatch a plan to do the following: work against the Lisa's company to bring it down crashing and help a hostile takeover happen and then wrest the company from the control of Lisa's parents through shady investors; 2. divorce Lisa, 3. Melinda divorce James and marry Dave once they own the company, 4. if there's going to be problem from either James or Lisa, use hitmen to 'take care' of them permanently; later on, James and Melinda marry, sire 3 kids, Melinda kind of lets go (or almost forgets her original sinister plan), and she falls hard for James (but Dave is an addiction she couldn't give up) and becomes a doting wife other than her midday 'fucks' with Dave, which they sneak through somehow when James is away and at work (Dave takes care of marketing, so not desk-bound and can move about freely, unlike James whose job requires him at his desk, and Dave uses this to 'fuck' Melinda,and Melinda slowly begins to resent Dave and realizes that she loved her idea of Dave, not the despicable person he really is and she is just a cum dumpster for him, and she realizes her true love is only James, not Dave); meanwhile fissures develop between Dave and Lisa; Lisa tries her best to change Dave from his philandering ways; Dave dares her to divorce him because they have no children and tells her that even with the prenup, he would still walk away, after taking care of her parents and her through hitmen; Lisa gets scared and continue to suffer silently but blurts out one day all this to James; James is much more devious and smarter than Dave can ever hope to be; he surprises Lisa by telling her that he already knew their plans and that she needn't worry and he was going to take care of everything and that she is safe; Lisa is relieved because James is a committed man and he means what he says; somehow things come to head and result in a confrontation between James, Dave, and Lisa; James takes care of things as he promised, resulting in Dave disappearing overnight, forever out of all their lives; James confesses his love for Lisa; Lisa tells him that she knew that by now but wants time for getting into a relationship and that she is too hurt and her wounds are too raw and she needs alone time to be with her ailing parents; Melinda gets wind of this but says nothing to James; by she is now totally hopelessly and almost maniacally in love with James, realizing his goodness and so many other strong traits; James knows this and reciprocates her ardor; Melinda keeps singing 'I am not Lisa' occasionally while she is cooking, throwing occasional longing looks at James; James smiles and says nothing; one day he has the 'talk' with her and tells her that he knew about her and Dave and even their plans; Melinda breaks down and tells him it was all in the distant past and she told Dave off long ago and that she cared only for love and did whatever she did only because she was stupid enough to think she was in love with David when she realized she was not and that she even threatened Dave that she would go to the cops and do what she can to save James and Lisa and if Dave was going to get her killed, so be it because she would do anything for James and go to any length to protect her true and only love, James. James hugs her and tell her that he never stopped loving her and will never leave her knowing how much she loves him but tells her that he could not erase his feelings for Lisa; she was his first love; Melinda shocks him by saying that if he truly loved her, he must marry Lisa too and they all live together as a family and that is the only way Lisa can be protected; after much persuasion by Melinda, James and Lisa agree to marry in a private ceremony and Melinda, James, and Lisa live together under one roof, happily, forever; forever is a long time, but it doesn't hurt to say forever because forever is technically forever. Their children keep ribbing James and Melinda and Lisa as cave man and his women....