by LadyGraves
'his breathe'
It's BREATH not breathe, two totally different meanings, look it up, you used the wrong one. I got half way down the page and gave up. An editor may help you.
Yes, I know it’s just chapter one, but this needed a better break point than what you gave us. We needed more to become more invested in the characters, a hook to get us to read chapter two when it’s published.
Thank You , a Good start, looking forward to more.
NorthPacific
The story is very nice till now but it is taking too long for the next part. Please post it as soon as possible...
Why didn’t Liam get Rose? You set us all up and I’m fucking mad. You’re not even a bad writer but this is bullshit. Jacking off to the thought of him? Sister, if you want him, get out there and throw thatcooch. You know he’s interested.