All Comments on 'Explores a Little'

This story has been told many times before. It needs an original twist to set it above the others.

If you really don't mind criticism I gently suggest that you should take a long look at the following sentence:

'She started out by telling me that her and Cindy had went to a popular nightclub that we frequented once in awhile in a nearby town.'

This was a good first story, as you write more you'll develop and find your niche. I look forward to more from you.

Congrats on your first effort, hopefully you had fun and will try again.

Will be looking for the continuation of this new road in their lives.

As portrayed, she is a bit less than honest, if you want her in a most sympathetic light, fix that.

to ask for forgiveness than permission as she will soon find out. Maybe her next husband will be asked if he minds a cheating wife before she screws the neighborhood.

"She also has the one of the tightest little pussy's I have ever had the pleasure of having" and "I was only Anne's second lover when we met and ironically I had only been with one other woman also" don't exactly match up. One of? Is the narrator saying, ok, her pussy is tighter than the other girl I had? This kind of disconnect ruins the suspension of disbelief.

I enjoyed your story very much. The small issues I had with it have already been addressed in other comments. It's a great start to what could be a great series. Keep it up. I can't wait to read more of your work!

I thought her name was Anne?

The hardest step is the first one, I've often heard.

If you skated through English classes, look on-line for suggestions. For example, you had the husband refer to his wife with the term "that". In formal English, animals and things are refered to using "that". Human beings are given the dignity of the term "who" (or sometimes "whom"). Ninety-nine percent of the authors here can't understand the difference of when the two words are used, and so they punt and use "that". Google the difference between "who" and "whom" and use them and "that" properly.

You should also carefully read the anon comment in which one of your sentences was quoted. Look on-line for English grammar discussions and figure out the errors made, and get better.

Five stars for your first effort, especially since it's in THE most unfogiving of catergories in Literotica, that of Lving Wives. People who have either BTB (Burn The Bitch [rarely, "Bastard"] or the RAAC (Reconcilliation At Any Cost) psychologically disturbed thinking are going to castigate you if your stories don't meet their preconceived notions of how the world should run, and they will attack you personally: many are far too dim witted to recognize, let alone understand, the difference between real life and a fictional narrative! They will assume you ARE the protagonist in any story you write, and send venomous comments if they don't like the story.

In your biography/storie/favorites/comments section, you may want to consider not accepting accepting anonymous comments. (Merely requiring a return e-mail address allows a scurrilous commenter to make up a fictional e-mail, and send you a nasty-gram.)

You could also turn off accepting anonymous comments, but as you see from my cooment, then you would not have received mine.

(I have legitimate security reasons for my annonymity--the U.S. Government turned over my entire personnel file, reflecting 34-years of military and civilian employment revords, including all the documents from my initial and renewal Top Secret Security Clearance to the Red Chinese government. Now when I want to know what my retirement pay deposit will be next month, I don't have to call Uncle Sam, I can just call the closest Chinese Consulate! Also, records hacks of Experian, Target, Facbook, just to name a few have hit me. So I don't want too many people knowing too much moreabout me. There are a number of wackos who read this site; and if people can hack the State Department's Top Secret e-mails, my U.S. Government Top Secret Security Clearance records, then someone can surely hack Literotica and find out far too mch about us than we'd like to give out. So, I stay anonymous.)

Sorry to hear that your recent introduction to English has been so difficult. Not everyone can speak multiple languages. You seem to have the gist, but common sense issues seem to evade you.

"Fantasy" is very different from "desired" reality. Fantasies do not happen in real life. Desires and predetermined cheating does occur in everyday existence. Get those straight.

Learn the difference between "gone" and "went" when sending people away in your story. I'm sure your second grade teacher would be embarrassed with your simple and rudimentary gutting of our language.

Also, please don't leave California. We don't want your "kind" here.

Not my cup of tea.