All Comments on 'Hope a Little Longer'

Thank you for this lovely 5-star so beautifully and elegantly written story. I loved everything about it, but must point out that the great description near the end when Ray walked into the office was pure top-shelf prose. "Her eyes shone so brightly that they left dead spots on my retinas... the three developers unfortunate to be caught in her line of sight were carbonized before they even knew anything was happening... workstations around the room began to detonate one after another... the water in the cooler came to a boil. I could hear one of the survivors crying softly." I believe that I've fallen in love with you-- and I'm a guy.

Superbly written and a well constructed tale that insists you read on to the end. Well done.

5 stars just isn’t enough! I don’t think you’ll be writing on Literotica for long! How could you when talent like yours could be earning you a fortune out in the big wide world of literature!! Your writing is, as someone else said, ‘elegant’. It’s also eloquent, heart-stopping and sublime. When my brain caught up with my heart, I believe there was a small explosion inside me!! I’ll stop gushing now! Please keep up the fantastic work. I so look forward to reading more of your wonderful tales. Many thanks and much love to you.

This should really be in the romance section. It's beautifully written and extremely charming. The characters really come to life and the sex is heartwarming. You could write a great follow up story too, with flashbacks to the years for both characters after Sarah's "death" (and perhaps what drove her to that precipice) as they meat up with family and eventually marry! One of the best romances I've read on literotica (perhaps the best!) And I just couldn't put it down (it's now 03:53!!). I hope you write many more!

love beyond what you can ponder.just simply wow! it makes you realistically hopefull again.upon reading this I 've been glued and forgotten to have lunch at 2:34pm.tnx Limentina,bless you always(cinder)now i'm starving....but happy.

This is such a beautiful story. It's well written and paced, but I think the outstanding feature of it for me is Ray's character. She's a complete human being, with all the hopes, fears and dreams that go with that. In fact, I may have fallen a little bit in love with her myself!

it's 4:29 am and next to no sleep for me . i just HAD to finish reading this so very beautiful and very touching story. i so very dearly hope you can continue posting your amazing writing here. thank you so very much from me - sarah xoxo

Absolutely other-wordly. This is a story that I will be reading over and over again simply because it captivated me from beginning to end. This was exceptionally well written and truly beautiful. Thank you!

What a beautiful love story.

I'm seriously impressed by this story, building well as it does on the promise shown in your first tale "Pretending Life is Sweet". We've all probably got our favourite passages in this. Mine is near the beginning, Sarah's marriage to Jacob Tulley. With fairly simple, non-sensational words you managed to convey the potential unhappiness and despair of the situation. Other telling scenes were the pub meeting of the three women and Ray's return to work. Keep at it Limentina, you are better than good.

I'm not bothering to comment separately on "Castle in the Air"---the quality of writing is every bit as good as "Hope a Little Longer".

But tell of days in goodness spent,

A mind at peace with all below,

A heart whose love is innocent!"

I echo Maonaigh; this was phenomenal. Well done.

Fantastic, sensual, story with comical moments - my favourite kind. You convey the sweet, clueless innocence so perfectly. Well done.

What writing, what a story, just ... wow. Please keep them coming.

M

...for all these lovely and slightly overwhelming comments.

In particular I am happy to see people enjoying the epilogue as I debated for ages about whether to even include it (there was a version in the pending queue for about 24 hours at one point which omitted it completely before I pulled it back into drafts and pasted it back in).

Maonaigh, you've also pinpointed a seemingly innocuous section, the marriage, which gave me no end of trouble and the pub meeting which was one of the passages I most enjoyed writing. I spent days figuring out what everyone would say, think, understand and misunderstand. Then writing parts of it from two different angles was a sheer delight.

careythomas, I don't mean to gush too much but reading your delightful clever stories was a major factor in driving me to put pen to paper at the end of January so thank you for your kind words and for more lovely, perfectly chosen poetry to go with the Donne :)

What a story. You gently brought the reader along with Ray's awakening, beautifully capturing her self discovery. Loved it. More please.

Lovely story.

That was a very wonderful and feel good story. I enjoyed the writing and especially Ray. The epilogue was a nice touch and a great end.

Already read a couple times, now I need to refrain myself to keep it fresh as long as possible.

Thank you, you build the sort of exquisite worlds we hope to be a part of some day.

The epilogue was quite simply a tour de force, it would have been a shame to cut it out - how lucky we are that you decided to share it with us all.

I do hope that you will go back to "Castle in the Air", someone is in need of closure over there! (and it's not just me!)

The characters felt very believable and I loved their interactions. In spite of the story being fairly short it didn't feel rushed. I was never taken out of the story by something feeling off, out of place, or out of character.

Great job, you have talent.

A truly lovely story, culminating in one of the best closing lines I've ever read. Well done!

I've found a new must read author. What a beautiful story.

Very well done and wholly original! Thank you for sharing this with us!

This story is so much more than I was expecting and really warmed my heart. So adorable and quite different.

Love it ^-^

I had hoped for a great ending to "Pretending Life is Sweet", but never in my wildest imagination did I think it would be THIS good! This was a fantastic story, I thoroughly enjoyed it, and the part where Ray and Sarah finally got together really brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for sharing this wonderful story with us!

5 stars, without a doubt.

This is one amazing story. The way you spun this tale I was routing for Sarah and Ray the whole time. And I love how it dovetailed into Pretending Life is Sweet with a chance encounter on the train. Plus, there were lines that had me grinning like, emotional connectivity ninja stuff, and weapons-grade perceptive. Looking forward to reading the rest.

Incredible story. Warm, romantic, BELIEVABLE.

Thank you for sharing!

What a story to come back to. I've been off the site for awhile reading Amazon e-books and I'm pleasantly surprise to see the continuation of wonderful lesbian stories. There is a beautiful innocence and sexual self-awakening here. Morever, it's great Ray had the support she needed to just be and become with the support of her Aunt, cousins, and friends, cause so many don't and end up committing physical and or mental suicide. In line with the title, we should All Hope a Little Longer that the world becomes more tolerant and accepting of people's differences.

My first experience with your work, and i have to say i truly enjoyed it. Much prefer the longer stories for the detail and character development, which you've done a wonderful job with! Thanks for sharing this, and i look forward to reading more from you. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

I fucking loved loved loved this. It gave me goosebumps at all the right times. I find myself wanting to know more about what Sarah went through. Who helped her? Why fake your own death? I also felt that Ray's mother could of had a more active role in which she explains to her daughter through a letter that was sent on her 18th birthday explaining why her mother had her go live with Aunt Jen. Please dont think im critizing you im not.

I absolutely loved this story and fell in love with the character; Ray-bless her little heart, lol. This story has everything going for it, heartwarming, sad, and hilarious. Great work! I’m a fan.

I keep coming back to this story over and over. Easily one of my favorites on here. Just wanted to thank you again for sharing your gift of imagery and storytelling with us.

....... an almost lazy (in a fantastic way) telling of a tale.

So much detail and backstory only enhanced this story.

Well thought out and presented

I can only speak for myself, but the lack of a sex in the story until the final pages in no way caused me to lose interest, in fact quite the opposite. Quite an admission from a straight male I would think.

To "anon", an ultra religious cult would immediately excommunicate someone who had attempted suicide and tell everyone that she had died, so there was no need for the author to elaborate, sadly it was common sense.

An utterly terrific reading experience from start to finish. The only thing I wanted but didn't get was a little more background on Sarah's exodus from the enclave. Maybe somethings are better left to the imagination... Mine is just not that good.

Loved this story. 6 stars if I could.

This has got to be the best work l’ve read in a long time! You do have a gift. The characters are developed so nicely. I would like to meet them all.

I look forward to more of your stories.

5 stars just don’t seem enough.

I probably said that the first time I read it but I think it's even better this time. Wonderful story. Thank you

Well it happened and we're all happy. You do a great story, and I enjoy reading them. I re-read a lot of my favorite authors and now I include you.

You write so well. There's a touch of Umberto Eco in your style. You make the reader explore a broad landscape before focusing in on the mystery. Simply wonderful lesbian love story.

I really like this story and the build up, but it seemed to speed into their relationship too fast and neglected all of the rich back story that could have added more substance. The sex, when it came shocked me. I thought it would have happened more organically, accidental, innocent and sweet. You lost me as soon as you used the word cunt. These are two girls brought up in an extremely religious background yet hardly showed any confusion or anxiety over their sexuality or feelings. And I hardly expected that word to appear. It's off putting in any context but especially had no place in this story. It will work for some and not for others, and as an author you'll understand that. You can choose to ignore this comment but I mean it only in a purely constructive sense. You have a lot of potential or else I wouldn't even bother.

Newbie here and avid reader of fiction and prose. Absolutely loved this piece! The back story as it is, explains the characters while still leaving something to the imagination. The sex was a perfect depiction of the gentle teacher and the tenacious new lover and was not a moment too soon. Many Americans still have this aversion to the "c" word. I don't use it in my own writing, but I believe it to be a cultural descriptive for the female sex, and therefore up to the author. Your writing is expressive and timed perfectly. All in all, thank you so very much for this! My first submission is pending, but I know that my second will be much improved for all that your's has taught me!!!

Thanks for that. This sort of story just makes me hope that I would someday find the Sarah of my life.

That's an amazing and sweet story, I really enjoyed it and I was crying through last two pages. Thank You for sharing your talent in this form with us. Also my nipples are hard now :)

Brava. I never read erotica that leaves me feeling warm and fuzzy after. Thank you for that.

Excellent story , believable characters and beautifully written,

I loved this story, it was so sweet! I need an entire series written from Angela's perspective, because she's poetic and funny as shit! That was an amazing ending.

My Creative Writing professor at University would have advised you to use the Omniscient point-of-view for you whole story rather than switching First Person from Ray to Angela and back again. I think I agree, it would be much smoother.

I have to also mention Ray's (internal) use of the word 'cunt'. It's as bad as saying 'fuck-hole', and it just doesn't fit her experience. With Ray and Sarah's background, they would never have said or heard the word as they grew up in that religious community. If they had grown up in a Hell's Angels biker gang, or a band of carnies, the word cunt would absolutely be right.

You make me realize I have marked far too many pretty-good stories on Literotica with five stars. I now wish I could change them all to four, so I can reserve 5 stars for this story and very few others. Mon Dieu, you have some talent. With tears of joy still streaming down my face, I was giggling like an idiot as silicon chips went off like firecrackers, the water cooler boiled over, and those two hapless guys were carbonised! It would make such a great movie scene.

Your wonderful characters just reach right into me, grab onto my heart and drag me along through the story. They're irresistible. I'll read everything you write.

I really enjoyed reading this story how two lovers found each other I hope you will write more about Ray and Sarah so we can see whether they can become married and how there lives become so loving and happy and whether they have children.

Thank you Limentina

Such a sweet story, thanks for sharing

Such a good story, this has to be my third or fourth read, and it just gets better every time. Well done, you!!

I love the pacing of the story and buildup of affection, it’s beautifully written. I also find the characters really relatable to what it’s like to figure out being queer

Great story. I loved how you did Ray’s voice. So simple and almost slow -real matter of fact. And I loved how you contrasted her simplicity when you wrote so much more worldly and sophisticated when switching to her co-worker - the ramping up of vocabulary and syntax displayed your purposeful adoption of girl off the farm voice for Ray by comparison. This deserves every star possible.

Kept me hooked. Great story!

Thank you. Superb story telling. Rich characters. Beautiful use of vocabulary. You are obviously a very talented writer, I hope you are still writing, you have the gift.

A wonderful love story.

Finally, Ray got the gay memo. I was so happy that Sarah felt the same, and so proud of Ray for finally telling her!

Love the story, the characters, the love. It's a very sweet heartwarming story.

One thing didn't click with me and that was the use of the word "cunt". It feels more raw and vulgar than what Ray (in my vision) would use.

I just love it. I had read it some time ago, but it is just as wonderful now as it was then.

Basically, slow burn story about a useless lesbian who took an average amount of time for her kind to realise what has always been... and what everyone else already knew.

But extremely well written and well paced

I love Ray and Sarah, and I love Ray and Sarah, the couple. I have to agree that the use of the word cunt for female genitalia is too vulgar to be sexually stimulating.. The sex word, for me to be turned on, is pussy. That is just right. That word will always get the juices flowing.

Aww loved this story

Really nice story. I hope you'll keep writing!

This is a well written story full of discovery and wonder. Sometimes we don't know or understand ourselves until we can finally accept the truth that has been there all along and we were unable to comprehend it before. Such a loving story that deserves way more than 5 stars. Please continue to shower us with your wonderful insights into the human experience.

Brenda Groff

I have read this same story at least five times, and I love it every time. It amazes me that I can still find details that I didn't quite catch the fourth time I read it.

I felt for Ray not knowing why she had been sent away to her aunts', but felt this was a welcome circumstance. The "suicide" didn't feel right. The pieces didn't seem to fit the whole, but all we learn comes from a 14 year old teenager that has been woefully left out in the dark of just about everything. I am glad the death was but a saving face play and not an actual one. Ray was definitely at a disadvantage, no real education, stuck on a farm with no one except two boys ( who turned out adorable in the way they treated Ray) and her aunt.

You brought all these things together, stirred the pot and poured a first rate romance. A clueless Ray and a Sarah that never gave up. What more could you ask for? Oh yeah! The happy ending with our hero(ine) getting the girl and riding off in to the sunset. Got to keep an eye on you, you do well.

Two broken souls become one ...... Marvelous ...... So lovely this chapter ....... What i never understand is, ALL RELIGIONS TALKING ABOUT LOVE i mean unconditional love, right or, and growing up in our society getting older exactly the opposite will happen just accross the globe ....... It's devastating ........ Joyfully you gave sarah and rachel a wonderful path to developing happiness and love 💝💝💝💝💝⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Sarah has been an empath since pre-adolescence and thrives on her empathy. Rachel is blithe and charmingly clueless. Their mutual declaration of love is a priceless scene. How magnificently have they flowered. I am eager to delve further into this fictional universe.

Really really good. Such a creative story and so well written with so many wonderful scenes! But. There's a structural problem with how it relates to the previous story ("Pretending Life Is Sweet") and how the writer introduces this ("This is my second story although parts of it predate the first. Feedback welcomed. Starts slowly, goes on quite a bit.") That is, that this story works much better in the main if "Pretending Life..." hasn't been read first because the content of that one (S's not-death and her awareness of her/R's sexuality) work as massive spoilers for this one. *Except that* without reading "Pretending Life...", the not-being-dead plot twist here is covered with ("I suppose they would say that") the most massive piece of handwaving I've ever seen!

Thank you, I really enjoyed the story.I enjoyed the experiences each character brought and the character development too.

Wonderful! I love your storytelling, and your ability to say so much without having unreasonable detail. There’s a real art to your writing.

Woke up to finish this at 1:30 am, great story telling

That short paragraph before “Goddess:Epilogue” was some of the best descriptive writing I’ve read on Lit, or for that matter anywhere, it portrays perfectly the tilt of axis that revelation can bring. Just brilliant.

The rest of the story is it appeared to me, like Ray and Angela’s last cup of coffee, was a study in delayed gratification. We all knew it was coming, but the waiting and gradual build up made it all the more satisfying when it came.

Apart from the consistent use of “i’m” rather than “I’m”, this was faultless to my untrained eye, which, allied with your very quality of writing makes it a solid 5⭐️ From me. Many thanks for writing and posting, cheers Ppfzz.

Omg wow!!

This is by far, one or my most favourite stories that I've read on here. The slow burning build up of passion between the two main characters was incredible. And Angela's little monologues were brilliant. I agree with the last comment, regarding the Epilogue: Goddess. It was mind-blowing descriptive 🤯 & great to read.

Definitely 5 stars ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Thanks you for this amazing story!

Superb, and that's all that needs to be said. Five solid stars for me!

"This seemed to be how Sarah got to know people. As far as I could tell the subject matter to begin with wasn't really that important it was more about learning how to have a conversation with that particular person and then sorting out the details of what you wanted to talk about later."

If only I had this skill. Very edifying, and worth the price of admission. Brilliant.

YOURE MY NEW FAVORITE!

Lovely!

Thank you!

i really hope your well and good i keep coming back when things are quite be happy well and safe a fan shayne

loved this so much i love these slow burn stories so much they are just real i can imagine everything in my mind as i read love it !!!

What a brilliant story. A sliw burn romance and a girl learning how to live and to appreciate who and what she is with help from Angela and patience from her would-be lover, Sarah. You're a great writer and 7 Lit pages flew by.

That was awesome. Your writing is very fluid.

best story i've read in a long time, loved the writing

The imagery in Angela's point of view blows me away every time. Every damn time. So fresh. Just stunning. And the rest of it. You are such an inspiration.

This is so lovely.