All Comments on 'My Heart's Passion'

by Subtle28

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  • 3 Comments
EmirusEmirusabout 6 years ago
No cigar

It will come as no surprise when I say I enjoy your offerings. This current one with Dylan and Lynn is no exception and I like that several months has elapsed in their relationship since the first chapter. Another reason why I enjoyed it was undoubtably because it reminded me of an incident in my personal life.

After I’ve read a story the first question is always the same. Did I enjoy it? Any concerns on technical issues are secondary and are only taken into consideration when voting and even then there’s only one question. Did they spoil my enjoyment of the story? There were a few issues but none of them spoilt my enjoyment and therefore did not affect my vote (at the time of writing this story has a 3.00 which is a joke.)

I’m not an expert as regards grammar etc etc. 🤓. Far from it and I can prove it. My first story, which was only published a week ago, was savaged by some “critics.” 😡 When I looked at it again some of the comments were correct although there were some with which I disagreed. Perhaps I should have used an editor! 🤔. Perhaps that’s why I looked so particularly at this story.

These are just minor points. I thought there was an unnecessary use of commas; use of ... instead of semicolons; the wrong word; and examples of lack of clarity. But nothing to stop it from being a 5⭐️ But perhaps I’m wrong because, as I say, I’m no expert.

Interesting twist in the ending.

Subtle28Subtle28about 6 years agoAuthor
response to Emirus

Well....this one is a little different story that I wanted to tell. While "My Heart's Desire" was all about compartmentalizing into this BDSM relationship between Dylan and Mistress Lynn, "My Heart's Passion" was about the blurring of those lines, which is why it starts out on a shopping date, why it was disclosed she wasn't always a domme, why she takes him to the party, and so on (much like passion overtaking people's normal being) Some of the "..." are completely intentional, although the excessive commas admittedly wasn't.

That sets up the finale where you will wonder if the actions she does is for control (through domination) over Dylan, or because she genuinely cares for him and was hurt herself.

PS- sorry I haven't gotten back to Miss Black (It's been busy), but she should be coming out soon as well....I should have some free time this weekend.

PlushpuppyPlushpuppyabout 6 years ago
Little detail

I love the story. A tiny detail Christian Louboutoin shoes have the red bottoms not Jimmy Choo shoes

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