All Comments on 'Me, My Girlfriend and My Sister...'

Please don't leave us hanging; Many more chapters

The story may have been passable, but the writing was horrible.

The idea was great. I got off conceptualizing the interaction between the three. Unfortunately, I had to fill in the blanks, change the words, and correct prepositions to make it work. There are editors that are volunteers who would gladly give you the time and energy to make this a very hot story. This is a good creative read and the most important thing is not to stop writing; simply get help with the grammar, the descriptions of the sexual actions, and the fluidity of thought. Also, do a read through before submitting.

I've been there, done that, got my tee shirt.

Well...the FFM threesome part without the incest. My sister would have been 4 years older than me if she wasn't born prematurely. She and I were the only live births from my mother's 5 pregnancies. My sister lived 36 hours then passed away. 😢

However, getting back to the FFM thing. If you want to be believable, the guy should make verbal suggestions only and make them suggestions, not demands. The two girls will take matters at their own pace. The fastest way to blow things up and ruin it is to let the little head take over and start bossing everyone around.

Because of the way that you portrayed Brian, you lost a point. 4/5