Parts were sweet, but the cheating thing and not-so-happy ending kind of ruined it for me. Also...hmm, there was an also...oh yeah, this is not erotic coupling...put it in romance where it belongs. :-P please
I learned two things by submitting this entry. I have no idea how to write erotic non-fiction and need some help with that! Secondly, and probably most importantly, I should sleep on a submission before entering it. Upon rereading it today, I do not believe it is worthy of the contest!
by
Anonymous01/23/05
Non Fiction
You wrote it as you remembered it. I enjoyed the story.
by
Anonymous01/23/05
Different timelines
Good, yet sad, story. Very well written and quite expressive telling of a relationship where their single times in their lives never coincided. As always, the road never taken will always be a mystery, often haunting us until our death.
I guess we just have to be satisfied, even if not especially happy, with the road we choose.
I read your thoughts in the PC's. Lit doesn't have a "True Life" non-fiction category. Probably the closest thing is "First Time" and that doesn't fit either.
Your writing isn't bad; t's your story-telling that needs work (usually it's the other way around). That's especially true with the ending. Study the craft of writing, learn some of the "tricks of the trade" and keep writing. You ain't bad and, IMHO, have to potential to get a lot better.
English
urgh
Parts were sweet, but the cheating thing and not-so-happy ending kind of ruined it for me. Also...hmm, there was an also...oh yeah, this is not erotic coupling...put it in romance where it belongs. :-P please
*sigh*
I learned two things by submitting this entry. I have no idea how to write erotic non-fiction and need some help with that! Secondly, and probably most importantly, I should sleep on a submission before entering it. Upon rereading it today, I do not believe it is worthy of the contest!
Non Fiction
You wrote it as you remembered it. I enjoyed the story.
Different timelines
Good, yet sad, story. Very well written and quite expressive telling of a relationship where their single times in their lives never coincided. As always, the road never taken will always be a mystery, often haunting us until our death.
I guess we just have to be satisfied, even if not especially happy, with the road we choose.
A good vignette
I read your thoughts in the PC's. Lit doesn't have a "True Life" non-fiction category. Probably the closest thing is "First Time" and that doesn't fit either.
Your writing isn't bad; t's your story-telling that needs work (usually it's the other way around). That's especially true with the ending. Study the craft of writing, learn some of the "tricks of the trade" and keep writing. You ain't bad and, IMHO, have to potential to get a lot better.
Rumple
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to A Valentine For My Childhood Sweetheart or
More submissions by Gypsy in MI.