All Comments on 'That's What I Thought'

Good story telling and writing is good too. Maybe “Romance“ would be a better category but EC is also OK. Please write more chapters so we can find out what happens. Five stars.

Great premise, but the potential for what-ifs is too great. Run with this for a bit.

Nice phrasing! Pretty much the way I felt when I met my sweetie, but I didn't phrase it quite so eloquently. ;-)

More chapters? Maybe, but heed sbrooks' advice about dragging it out. I think it does just fine as a one-off, but since I enjoy your stuff, bring it on!

Thanks for this one!

Personally I think it is fine to end here. Unless you have a truly great idea with what to continue it is probably best to end here. This premise can be to easily ruined.

Sure, it's a Erotic Coupling, but the core of the story is Brent's newfound power of mental subjection. I mean, whatever - doesn't change my overall thought about this story.

I like it. Reminded me, in some way, of ‎Steven Gould's "Jumper", the way the two lovers ended up hooking up and such.

I'm done for more of this, unless the story veered into the LW tales the author usually gives us - moreandmore is on a roll right now, and I love his stuffs, but I would seriously hate seeing Brent and Steph breaking up over some bullshit reason. Not into reading about the breakdown of their relationship because of cheating,

knowwhatimsayin?

So, if this is all we're going to get, I'm OK with it; but, if there's more to come, let's please stay away from any standard betrayal bullshit.

Solid 4 plus star story. Sure would be fun to read how a baseball player fairs with a cricket bat, and their adventures in merry ole England.

I've read it a few times now. It really does have me thinking its something that could be possible. I can't think of a way it could be used responsibly.

You have a gift. Use it wisely.

they have a child with super telekinesis, like jean grey of x man

More, please.

A possible affair with the mother, or a miscommunication that makes it appear an affair has taken place to Step. How can she trust him knowing he has this power of suggestion.

but both characters were honorable, likable, and intelligent, so I would limit the options to stay true to who they are. This rules out an affair with the mother.

It seems the first decision is, does the ability fade, stay, or grow? Each option is viable, but the fade option has been used a lot, so I would advise against it. The grow option seems like it would go into scifi/fantasy, but this story seems to belong more in the romance genre.

The romance genre has the bullshit separation caused by misunderstanding/trouble at the end of act 3, followed by the oh-so-predictable overcoming obstacles and the happy ending. How can you continue the love story without following this trite formula?

Maybe it turns out that he can not only transmit, but receive? Listen to some type of thoughts from some people? That would open possibilities.

It would be cool if this story line melded with her field, perhaps through a quantum entanglement metaphor, where their connection evolved to work at a distance. This would probably push you in the mystery/adventure direction, and that could make a novel/novella.

May I have some more please, sir.

Yes, have the protagonist go on to study at Oxford and become a successful Cricketere. Meantime, explain the game of Cricket to us all while Brent is learning to play. Because that game makes no sense to me at all.

Love your stories by the way.

One slight niggle though.

Oxford University is not in London but in Oxford.

4*

Good story. I think we'd like to have chapter 2 follow them to England

This is the first time I've read one of your stories. I blinked, and enjoyed it. I coughed and decided to write this comment. Your sneaky mental suggestion that I like it, rate it five stars, and then read the sequel is working perfectly. I guess I'm like Steph: I like to be out of control! -- JB Edwards

I REALLY ENJOYED YOUR MENTION OF HOW IMPORTANT AN ALKALINE PH IS TO THE HUMAN BODY! YEARS AGO I DISCOVERED THAT IT IS AN OVER 100 YEAR FACT THAT IT IS THE CURE FOR CANCER. IF YOU MAINTAIN AN ALKALINE PH, YOU CANNOT GET CANCER. IF YOU TILT THE SCALE TO ACIDIC PH, YOUR BODY CAN AND WILL GET SICK AND ALLOW CANCER TO MATERIALIZE. JUST DEPENDS ON HOW LONG YOU REMAIN ACIDIC AND HOW FAR DOWN THE SCALE FROM ALKALINE YOU GO. GREAT STORY. I HATE IT WHEN YOU KILLED THE MAIN CHARACTER! OH WELL.

That was a really good little story. Wish I could get that power, but I've already been hit.in the head too often.

Surely needs more chapters. In England, Back in states& Wed. Career & family life.

Do it please.

Glad there's more chapters...

lots more

Oxford U is in Oxford not in London. Not clear what a doctorate is from Oxford. Maybe a DPhil. Only Cambridge (that's in Cambridge) grants a PhD. Just saying. Moving from cricket to baseball is doable, but not so sure about vice versa. There would be more to learn. For instance, there are nine ways to go out in cricket. Nag nag niggle whine.

Everyone knows you can't stop here!