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English
A very good love story!
I recieved a great deal of enjoyment from this story. You have been writting very good stories. Do not let the negitive comments from some on this site keep you from writting. The emotions in your story are "real" . Keep them that way. Thanks for the enjoyment.
Outstanding
Very well done. The dialog from Maria is really good and makes her completely likeable.
I didn't care for the way it started. It's kind of archaic, something you might see from Dickens. We don't care who you are in the 1st sentence, or your age or whatever. We want to know something about what we're going to be reading. I haven't had a lot of time to think about it but something like:
My assignment in Brazil started the most intoxicating and terrifying adventure of my life. It would force me to come to grips with who I am as a person and my self image would be sorely tested by the events that followed.
Then you can drip in parts of your background (you being Peter). The name can be used in a conversation by somebody else. You don't need to toss in the last name until it's needed. Dole out the information. Make us want to know more.
That aside, good job.
Magnifique!
Author lends a Dickens quality to his work! (well, RPsuch thought so )LMAO! My name is Peter Molloy...It was the best of times it was the worst of times...
Catchy!
RP comparing anything I wrote with anything Dickens-like is NOT a negative even when you say it was "archaic". I'll take that any day!
And who says we can't vote on our own work? I'll bet Bush even voted for himself.
Great Start!
Really love it so far. Can't wait to read the next installment.
Story Tellers 2
Interesting that of the comments below, two of them are from a small group of the better authors on this site - Story Tellers each and thankfully so. Each a distintive style and way of enveloping the reader in thier tale.
Author, very nice work - you are appreciated for your time, effort and themes of believeable entertainment!!
PS to RP - please get back to work - we are awaiting your next effort and here you are out kibitzing a peer! The nerve.
Regards to Each
Do You two need to write together?
Partnership your only outlet?
i reckon this guy actually lived in Brazil
O' course, I love Brazil, and I lived there for more than four years, so I have to tell y'all that Sao Paulo does not have any beaches!, but aside from that, I liked how our writer brought up the disrespect of some " gringos", which in Brazil means anyone who is not brasileiro, towards women, especially women who flirt. Flirting is much more of a custom there than even here in the US, so a visitor should not read into it.
Anyway , writer, good job that you married her! I hope it all works out!
Not that good
Sorry Keep trying you may get it someday.
Enjoyable Story!
Having always been fascinated by far away places this lovely story was such a joy to read. This Writer's almost conversational style is appealing and moves this story along quickly; but, at an orderly logical pace. Although I have never been fortunate enough to visit Brazil; I love Brazilian music, so for me this story was especially exciting. Wonderful character development also. A brief escape from reality into the magic of fantasy - what a lovely Read.
Readers can't vote?
Too bad. 5 stars. I hope the remaining chapters are as good. I would have preferred the image of a long and lanky Brazilian woman.
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