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English
A little uneven
There are some superb phrases and images in this poem, but I find it a bit uneven in quality. You might want to set it aside for a time and the come back to it with a fresh eye. It would be worth it. This has the potential to be an excellent erotic poem. (IMHO)
...
"driven by carnal virility
ravenous with desire
her hunger for love
accesses portaled entrance
Venus relinquishes
its goddess to
whispered waves
chanting to rhythms
of a wanton heart"
I picked just two stanzas but you must know that I just love your word choices here, how they melded together into a wonderful flow. I very much enjoyed this, bluerains. Thanks for writing this. :)
damn fine piece
a rogue voice amidst ruby twilight
breathing her name
on astral Aquarian winds
This is glorious!
~
Hi! Your poem has been mentioned in the New Poems Review thread:
http://www.literotica.com:81/forum/show thread.php?s=&postid=11260278#post11260278
Keep writing :)
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