All Comments on 'Daddy's Sunshine Pt. 03'

Moving the plot along very nicely. You've got a LOT of typos in this one which tends to break the flow while reading- I'd highly encourage you to read through your draft 3 times to check for those before publishing it. I know it sounds tedious, but it really, really helps. A story this good and interesting needs to shine in every way possible, even technically. Looking forward to the next chapter!

My Beloved Hellions:

I take full responsibility for failing to catch my typos and send out my sincerest apologies. You all deserve better than that. I'm reading it over this morning and seeing all of the errors; trust that I am cringing each time one is spotted.

McKenzie's Turn and part 4 of this story will be read several times before submission. Promise!

All my naughtiness...

Daddy's Hellion

Now this was Perfect had everything I love to read. Excellent. Earlier I was trying to read your fantabulous erotic story at work but had to stop. Because I was getting so hard . I had to force myself to stop. But when I got home I had to finish you story and play with my cock!!!!!!! I can't wait for more!!!!!

I'm sure it made every guy that read this either want to fuck, or actually fuck their daughter if they have one, and for the rest of us. It made us wish we had s daughter to fuck

YUMMMMMMMMM

Coming from a girl who loves to fuck daddies. This made my pussy so wet and I’m so turned on. I can’t wait for my daddy to call me and slide is cock in me and make me cum. Great story.

This was fucking hot!!! I am so wet

Please continue but don't add anyone with them. Let it be Mackenzie that they seen fucking her father.

Can't wait for the next chapter.

I do hope you can elaborate more on the seduction, teasing and cockteasing part of the story. It's much more erotic to read, compared to the actual sex.

I SO want to see her end up pregnant! Mom in jail, for a long, long time, so dad divorces her.. he should, regardless... Maybe they can sell the house, and live in his magic wonderland, all the time? Don't bring that Devin character back though, he would just made it a little creepy/tacky, especially with his daughter there... she might say something at school, and ruin Charleston & Shayenne's lives.

I love this story!! I, too, hope that mom goes to jail for a long time. Divorce her @$$. sell the house, move into this place. As for Devon/Devin (you had it spelled both ways) he made my skin crawl. Do NOT include him. I like the suggestion of Kenzi and her own dad. In my humble opinion, adding her to a relationship with Charleston and Shayenne would totally ruin their story. Looking forward to the next chapter.

I agree with mezmerized. Devin and his daughter would be great for another kind of story - freeing her if you're not into the darker stuff.

It would be great to have som heavy flirting with McK with both protagonists. Just to pump it up. The girls must realize that the oath were stupid considering that Shay is already drinking.

I'd prefeer for my own suspence of disbelieve and identification that the secret appartment didn't require Charlston to be bend in order to afford it. A small run down one room appartment with a balcony to the sea and a window overlooking an hour based hotel could cut it.

Power, wealth and the trappings might be sexy but not very common (indetifyable).

I really think Charleston and Shayenne's relationship is perfect the way it is. Please do not add someone else to the mix.

I feel like every story in this category has to include the daughter's best friend and ruin it.

I mean like stop! It was great the way it was but then it becomes trashy.

I want to see her knocked up by her dad, their relationship is d*mned fcking hot already pls Don't include kenzi in their tryst. Or maybe you can just make Kenzi discover/ saw one of their tryst and that made her hot and want to do the same with her father or stepdad or some other older guy but not the Detective :)

There should be another part but no McKenzie though unless she’s fucking her daddy

I LOVE this story. It is crazy hot!! I also like how sweet their relationship is. I agree about not including MacKenzie, give her her own story!!! And I can’t wait for part 4. Please please please!

Thank you, everyone, for your amazing feedback and emails.

You are the best bunch of people to write for. Your honesty is appreciated.

Part 4 of Daddy's Sunshine is in the works as is Part 1 of McKenzie's story with her own Daddy. They are 2 very different stories, I warn you in advance. I embraced a slightly darker side for McKenzie's story, so I'm looking forward to your feedback there! Give me a few days to get them posted. I've been unwell.

Thank you, again!!

Stay naughty. ;)

~Daddy's Hellion.

I want to see how they will react if daddy knocks her up (hope he does), but don't add her best friend to the relationship, it's good now, make Mackenzie have her own little encounter with her dad. Keep up the good work..keep writing...can't wait for part 4 :)

I found the turn around from "I just took your virginity" to "Welcome to my kinky sex club" to be absurdly quick. I mean there's always a need to suspend belief when reading these stories but it pushed it a bit too far for me this time.

I still enjoyed it, just found that it hurt the flow somewhat as did the errors, but as someone who has managed to publish plenty of errors of their own, I forgive and empathise!

Nikki

I vote no threesome!! This story stands strong on its own without a threesome. A threesome would complicate their relationship taking focus away from Sunshine & Daddy. I think the fetish club is sexy though, I vote more of fetish club and more hot scenes with Sunshine & Daddy!!

Fuck yes!

WOW....I hope there us more to come. This is a great story and I cannot wait to read more. Keep up the good work.

The only real critique, is to much back and forth on his name. I love the fact that you are trying to keep in our heads that this is a truly romantic incestiuous relationship, and I love it, i really do, please settle on a name for her to call him. I love the way this is developing, i truly hope she can come to be more of a clandestine wife/lover to him, and i hope she gives him children, and a loving wife like relationship for the rest of his life. This story really did have me at hello.😀

I love just the two of them, no one else. I wish I could be her in that club, watching others. He could teach her and switch on the blue light… That's my kind of Daddy...

the story is well written, and well paced, I suppose,,the back and forth on the names is

getting on my nerves,,daddy, Charleston, shayenne, sunshine, pick one,,and the sex is actually getting monotonous,,hardly one sentence without some sexual reference or innuendo, sometimes less is more,more is not more. there needs to be a break between sexual encounters or it all loses its impact,, and what happened to Luna? we could have got some info there between sex acts and got a little breather.

This chapter took a turn I absolutely did not expect but I am game. Let it fly.

OMG all the parts of this story were very very good, well written and presented to everyone in a great way I thought the mother was leaving and no car crash but that part was great to see the outcome of, after i read them all i thought about my own daughters and the oldest of them which i have had many a dream of but i never acted on anything as my girls (both) are just, well to great to let them think I am anything other than Dad so i never died my own mind lets me do as i wish so this story has given me a lot of lead story time for the mind Thank You and will look for number 4 soon I hope Mike

More please!!

I haven’t read the fourth installment yet but I am really hoping that they keep it between the two of them and not introduce the friend. I have read other stories that introduce a third individual and it’s not needed as it makes the love between the other two seem to be diminished. Hoping the story stays between just two characters. I have really enjoyed the first three chapters!

The first 2 were good but the 3rd was bad and the 4th isn't looking any better

I'm loving it. Please don't let her get pregnant.

Thanks for sharing this with us

Hehe I love this... I'm dating someone older than me... old enough to be my daddy... I introduced him to this type of role play... and this is exactly what its like...

The hunger, the dark lust that glazes his eyes over, a deep and dark ferocity that turns me on so much.

I'm about to read the next installment and I hope it stays between just the two of them. I know I wouldn't share my "daddy"

Fucking HOT

Jumped the shark with this chapter, didn't you?

No more than 4* due to the pain aspect of the relationship.

BJ

Wish she'd turned the green light on

I like the story but you need an editor.

Anony Mous

Dad's scoring about an 8 out of 10 on the psychopath meter in this installment of the story. Does she have a crush on dear ol' dad, or is she just scared shitless of him?

Plus, a monthly-rented, Hi-Tech apartment in a private sex club...on a cop's salary?

Good thing they're at the shore, because this story really jumped the shark!

Wish someone used me like Daddy used her.

This is truly a great story line, love the couple they make, a truly well written story and will keep reading each chapter.

Great work

I am enjoying your story I am really enjoying the story line in it also

Please don't have him share his daughter. Kenny is fine to share. But not sunshine

No one cares about McKenzie. Jesus....always ruin a story.

Less than 24hrs after fucking her, while the wife is in hospital, he takes her to a fetish club that he tents month to month and has had for a while!!

He must be really wealthy being a cop!!

Daddy has freak tendencies which he has never shared with his wife of over 18yrs so what kind of relationship did they really have!!

YOU NEDD TO WRITE AGAIN. FATHER-DAUGHTER STORIES ARE GREAT BUT DO NOT HAVE THEM SHARING WITH OTHERS!!

No need to watch others if you have the real thing, so to speak, much less if you are invested in your lover. Doesn't ring with me...

Echoing what has already been said: this, episode does not shit this story.

He has a membership in a very expensive, exclusive club. That his wife has no idea exists. They have 4 kids. That’s expensive too.

The hedonism makes an interesting story…just not this story.