Both the first two comments were right on. A little more attention to spelling and grammar would be appreciate. As it is, the absence of it only emphasizes the "0" rating the first respondent gave. Try again. Try "reliving" the experience as you write and just write how and what you feel, THEN check for spelling, etc....
by
Anonymous02/01/05
Wife or Girl Friend ???/
Was it his girlfriend as it said in first part of story or wife as it said towards end of story ?????
Thanks for the effort. A couple of suggestions would be develop more of a plot. Develop the characters a little more. Explaining why someone is doing something will make their actions more interesting. Also, string the sex out a little more, it helps the reader picture the event better.
Don't let the negative responses stop you, plan the story out a little more and give it another try.
by
Anonymous02/07/05
Birthcontrol
She was obviously already pregnant (which is why she was so horny) so why do you even bother asking this question for every story that is here?
English
Birth control?
Was she on birth control? Pregnant? Obviously they did not use a rubber?
Inane drivel
Poorly written twaddle
Closer attention would help
Both the first two comments were right on. A little more attention to spelling and grammar would be appreciate. As it is, the absence of it only emphasizes the "0" rating the first respondent gave. Try again. Try "reliving" the experience as you write and just write how and what you feel, THEN check for spelling, etc....
Wife or Girl Friend ???/
Was it his girlfriend as it said in first part of story or wife as it said towards end of story ?????
good try
Thanks for the effort. A couple of suggestions would be develop more of a plot. Develop the characters a little more. Explaining why someone is doing something will make their actions more interesting. Also, string the sex out a little more, it helps the reader picture the event better.
Don't let the negative responses stop you, plan the story out a little more and give it another try.
Birthcontrol
She was obviously already pregnant (which is why she was so horny) so why do you even bother asking this question for every story that is here?
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