All Comments on 'I want to ...'

You have some nice images here. I really like "scent like the rain across the bay." I swear, you can't go wrong with rain or bay. :) And the image of two lovers in a painting is very good, and so is the hand and dove. Notice that all these images seem to fit together? They do. But then you have puppy and turtle, which is fine, though it seems to be a stanza that doesn't quite belong with the rest.

to say that you've surpassed me

I am delighted in your intrest into

poetry bro~ you always wrote great

songs and I am impressed by your

poetry as well, keep up the good

work and waiting on your next

masterpiece <grin>

I can feel your desire through good word choices. Do you think the last line would be more effective without the "and"?

I enjoyed the visuals here the simple "Want" speaking in terms to all... rain, bay,.. the art of two lovers... and child within turtle and puppy.. all levels of love and erotic entwinings..

ty

Du~

especially the beginning, some fresh phrasing, delicate. Thanks. Enjoyed.